Dealing with depression and anxiety

[TobyGrey]

Hi, I'm Toby. I'm from an African country, so dealing with depression is hard. Here, you don't really have anyone to speak to about it. Depression is only dealt with prayer. My folks are so religious and it's hard to tell anyone that you're depressed. The next thing you get when you mention you're depressed is, they remind you of what you have and tell you must have seen it in a movie. So my only confidant's are alcohol and smoking. To top that I get anxiety attacks every night. Just needed to talk.

[Agora1]

Hi TobyGrey... I'm glad you found us my friend. We are good listeners as well as a

comforting, supportive site. Feel free to talk to us anytime. As you meet others who

who are struggling with depression and anxiety, you will see that you are not alone.

I'm sure you know that alcohol and smoking are not a healthy escape for anyone.

Looking forward to knowing more about the issues behind your anxiety and depression.

The only way to go forward is to address what is behind these mental health issues. xx

[All_alone]

Hi Toby. I'm sorry you are not getting the support you need . I find that just as hard as dealing with depression and anxiety. I'm in the US and I've had friends tell me I have it good, stop worrying, it's just life. All useless advice for me because they have no clue about the pain and anger I feel at times. Have you tried journaling to get your thoughts down on paper. Maybe you would see a pattern or a specific thing that makes you feel better or worse. Are there doctors or a friend close by that you would feel comfortable talking with. Keep posting here and talk about anything that is bothering you or something good that happened. Please try to watch the drinking and smoking since it may also take its toll on you. I say that with the utmost kindness and respect.

[Ceemulann]

Hey Toby, i can relate to you in so many ways; I’m African (Nigerian) too but i Was born in London. Ever since i started uni last year my life really changed, i felt so alone to the point where i would have seizures due to stress then i became depressed. I couldn’t tell my family because they don’t understand depression, all they would say is pray which helps but having support from your family would help even more. I told one of my male friends that i was depressed, he didn’t understand either he said i was ungrateful because other people had it worse than me; but i couldn’t help feeling alone and sad. Imagine waking up everyday and just feeling so depressed that you can’t eat or even have a shower. I didn’t have anyone to talk to because they didn’t understand how i acc felt, i was even suicidal at one point because i just wasn’t happy, but the best thing i did was speaking to my uni they helped me. Ever since then I’ve been trying to get myself on the right path, and one thing i realised is that even if your parents don’t understand God will always understand. Things have gotten better ever since i began to read scriptures everyday; trust me things will get better but it will take time. If you want to talk I’ll always be here to talk.

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Ceemulann]

Hello Ceemulann, going to uni. is a big challenge in its self, I congratulate you I am from England originally, so I suspect you get home sick, rotten feeling isn't it? Depression is an awful illness, I know I have had several bouts with it, and am in one now, along with anxiety, it makes me feel ill, and I get so lonely, I am seeing a therapist twice a week, it helps along with the med's my Dr. has me on.

Do not listen to people who do not understand, seek out support in healthy areas, there are support groups, and NAMI is a place you may have in your area, ask your Dr. or preacher for help, do not suffer if possible. You can also write to us here, we have all had bouts with the mental illnesses, so we understand and will do our best to help you. I send you peace, love and hugs. Sprinkle 1....

[Ceemulann in reply to Sprinkle1]

Sorry for this late response, I’ve been trying to get my life back together and now I’m back to square 1 again; I definitely need a therapist and I was referred in March but the waiting list is so long; I definitely need to talk to someone professional about my feelings

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Ceemulann]

Hi, good to hear from you again, can you go to a support group like NAMI, it is free and private as far as what we talk about. Are there any support groups in your area, go on line and check them out. Talk to your Dr. maybe he/she can put you in touch with one. Do you go to church, a priest or member of the church is often trained in helping people with problems regarding their mental health. Keep on doing what you are doing, it is working, it takes time to come out of depression, we often need the help of antidepressants, I have been on them for years. I wish you well, and keep on writing to us here, we will try to help you and give you support. I send you strength, love and hugs....Sprinkle 1....

[Ceemulann in reply to Sprinkle1]

Is Nami a group that based in the U.K. ? London, and yes I will try look for good health groups to to attend to

[AlLeYkAt86-]

Hopefully this site helps you. I'm relatively new here and just having this site to fall back on can be helpful. Everyone here has an experienced view of what you're going through so having a wide access to that kind of audience can be extremely relieving.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I am sorry for your suffering. Depression is a Real illness, I have had it off and on all my life. I am 77 now and battling depression and anxiety. I have a therapist I see twice a week and am on med's. My Dr. is involved and does her best to help me.Go on line and search out support groups in your area. There are 20 million people inflicted with this horrible illness, but there IS help. Please try not to use alcohol as it is a depressant, and smoking will only damage your health. There is a group called NAMI, it is world wide, see if there is one in your area, it is free. Ask your Dr. for help, you may need an antidepressant. If you can, go for walks, exercise is good for the brain and helps with depression. Do NOT listen to people who tell you, you are well off, they have no clue as to the suffering you are going thru. Come on line and talk to us, we are trustworthy and we suffer with these afflictions, we will do our best to help you. I send you peace, love and hugs. Sprinkle 1.......

[Suzhou]

I remember telling my mother that I was depressed and she said I have nothing to be depressed about. I have a roof over my head and a boyfriend. Little did she know I thought about death everyday. It doesn’t matter what physical things you have.

[Favyy]

Hi, Toby. I completely understand what you're having to deal with. Believe me, I do.

I am from an African country also, and I get what you mean when you said they don't take depression seriously here. It's like a mere talk. Something you just say because you have nothing else to hold unto to be the cause of your prolonged sadness and isolation. Worst of it all, even your own family will not take you seriously.

We don't speak up because of fear of being attacked instead of the attention and care that we desperately need.

I managed to speak to a couple of friends about my condition and few weeks later, one of them used it against me. It was a body shaming situation. Like telling me straight up that this part of my body is the reason for my depression.

These are what we see that make us keep our depression to ourselves and trust me, it isn't anywhere close to the best options. It's suffocating.

I really wish there is an easier way to make Africans understand the stigma associated with mental health issues.

I hope you find light soon. I really do.

[panamaborn]

Hello TobyGrey, hang in there.