Feelings...

Some days I feel so depressed that I think it will never get better. I don't take medication anymore nor have I seem a therapist anymore but when I can afford to again I feel as though it wont help me like I did the first couple times. It's like I get this feeling that it'll be worse cause they take me back to certain parts of my past I don't want to relive. It's like when i can afford it again and I start going again, they'll just make me realize all the negative aspects of my life. Which will only make my depression deepen.

[Suesue3]

I feel the same. It's hard to reopen wounds that we work so hard to close everday.

[Hidden in reply to Suesue3]

So how do you personally handle it, when put in that sort of situation?

[Suesue3 in reply to Hidden]

Personally, I have dealt with my issues by putting them in the back burner and keeping my mind occupied. But that's not healthy... when I have to revisit the topic or my mind wanders to it, I break down. I am also searching for treament at the moment but I am worried about having to open up to someone as well.I've been stalling.

[Hidden in reply to Suesue3]

With me I also let it built up until I've decided enough is enough which in fact also isn't very helpful to do nor is it healthy

[BonnieSue]

Then why not start counseling and you steer the talk away from what depresses you and say why by saying what you have just said here? I think you would be listened to and you have made a good point. Most of CBT counseling is about dealing with the here and the now, not the past. CBT= Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Bring that up and ask for an explanation if you need to. Possibly you had another kind of counselor the last time. The kind who goes into your past and looks to heal you that way. The vast majority today are using CBT methodology. You can ask before you make the 1st appointment. Then you can rest easy if the person says "yes" they will be doing mostly CBT type therapy.

[Hidden in reply to BonnieSue]

That's very helpful. Knowing that really opens my eyes. And I don't know what type of therapy it was in the past but thank you.

[BonnieSue in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome!

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

My therapist has been working on recognition of loss and hard stuff, but also focusing on the here and now , and believe me there is hardness there as well. We cannot "fix

the past"- as she says.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

That's true.

[Ddorne]

Health locked , I don't think that is true. Sometimes remembering painful thoughts can give you some freedom. If you are really suffering try meds again. There are different ones. Therapy at least helps you talk it out to someone who isn't a relative or friend . God Bless

LD

[gogogirl in reply to Ddorne]

It's okay to remember past events- they leave markers, but at the same time- I agree with Ddorne- they give you some freedom. Also we are here.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Thank you.

[Mikasmom08]

I've been in therapy for 8 years, since my infant daughter was delivered stillborn. I am also a nurse and have been very afraid by the difficult times that come with therapy....the times that make you not want to go or that give you anxiety all day when you know you have an appointment. However, I started to look at is as the wound care treatments I used to provide for my patients, even though it was gonna hurt like hell taking that old bandage off and cleaning the wound out, in the end it was going to feel and look better and each time I had to go through that process of taking off the old bandage, cleaning out the wound, ultimately I knew that therein , in the process was my healing. It's ok to be afraid, it's ok not to know, it's ok to be unsure but trust the process and your journey to healing!

Mikasmom08

[Trevatk]

I think you can go to the therapist or someone you trust and tell them exactly what you need. Don't be afraid to do that. If you need to talk about your past, do it. Feelings? Do it. Solutions? Do it. Ive found when I talk about things I want to it helps. Otherwise it's a waste of time.

Plus medication can be a great thing when administered properly. Imagine if someone with diabetes stopped taking insulin. They would die. Well for whatever reason we need more neurotransmitters. If we don't take them then our brains and lives get out of whack and we don't see things, including ourselves, as they really are.

Maybe even talk with a church leader if you have one. Or anyone you can trust. I'm sure they'll be more than glad to help.

Much love and prayers from here.

[gogogirl]

A therapist can also help you integrate your past with your present. When things are not going right with everything I do the same even with a therapist, but someone who clicks can also help you recognize bright spots as well. I hope that you have those also. I too go through this. Remember, we are not odd, we are HUMAN.

[gogogirl]

May I also ask if there is a NAMI branch in your area? I understand that they have free support groups.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

May I ask what a NAMI Branch is?

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

National Alliance on Mental Illness or NAMI. They have a website, and you can check if there is a branch close to your area.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

okay I will

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Did you find any information on NAMI