my anxiety and depression story

[survivor00]

Okay my story started way back in December. When I first learned what a panic attack is. It was the worse feeling ever! I've had the same issue happen a few times before but I didn't think anything of it. I had a panic attack that day and my heart rate was around 187 BPM. I was taken to the hospital by ambulance due to the chest pain I was having. They assumed that I had heart problems. I had a panic attack at school and the nurse there set up a FREE doctors appointment for me. I went to the appointment and just got medication for anxiety. But I was having hallucinations and more anxiety. The next time I had a panic attack and could not get myself under control. The ambulance calmed me down and everything was fine. No hospital or anything. Then the third time the ambulance had to come for me, I told them I was suicidal so they took me to a hospital that has a mental facility in it. On February 5th I spoke to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and panic disorder. That day my life forever changed. I was hospitalized for 8 days. When I got out I was still feeling horrible and I was suicidal. Everything went downhill for me right about now. A few days later I was diagnosed with genital herpes by a nurse practioner. She took a quick look and just assumed it was that. I was on medication for my out break. I went and had a blood test done while I was having an outbreak. The results for herpes came back negative for type 1 &a type 2. I was so happy but furious at the nurse practioner that lied to me. Just to be sure i went and got a culture test done and the results came back positive after 2 weeks of believing I was negative. It destroyed me. I felt horrible about myself. I told my mom it was my boyfriend that gave it to me. But his test results came back negative for genital herpes type 2. My mom never caught onto the lie I was telling. She believed my boyfriend gave it to me. Maybe a week or 2 later I attempted suicide. I took all 3 of my medications. It didn't work obviously. So maybe 3 hours later I told my mom that I overdosed. She told my dad and I was taken to the hospital. I was put into another mental facility. I finally told my secret I was keeping from everyone including the doctors. I was raped 2 months ago from this incident. It was hard telling my mom and dad. I felt bad. I made my boyfriend believe it was him that give it to me. When it was really the guy who raped.. Im still struggling with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. I am trying to be positive and tell myself i'll make it. This is my story and it isn't over yet;

[Hidden]

Hi you say you are still at school? Can I ask what age you are please as it is hard to advise you without knowing this.

Rape is a terrible thing so it's not surprising you have been suffering so much. You need help for this.