The struggle!!

Hello everyone, I am here for some help from people who are going through the same thing I am. I suffer from anxiety and depression and the day to day life struggle is hard. I hate that I feel this way sometimes and I also feel like I'm not normal. My marriage is starting to suffer because I don't know what to tell my husband is going on because I don't really know myself. I don't know how to explain it to him, I feel that every time I try to explain I can't find the right words to say or even pin point a reason as to why I'm feeling the way that I'm feeling. Putting a label on it scares me because it means something is wrong with me and my family will have to deal/live with it every day also. I don't want to be on medication right now because my husband and I are trying to have a baby. I want to be better for them and be normal for them. One thing that I find the hardest is talking about it. I feel like in today's society people shame you for it and they don't understand. Explaining it is difficult because I don't know why I am feeling the way that I am or why something upsets me so much. I just need some advice for people who are going through the same struggle I am.

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  • Hello Ms. Love. I am sorry you are not feeling well. First off, try not to put yourself down for having this problem. You didn't ask for this, and there is no flaw in your character causing this. Everyone experiences these feelings to a certain extent at some point in their lives, but some of use just react more strongly to it- making it more of a struggle. If you haven't seen your general doctor about your concerns, I would suggest doing that first. I understand you don't want to take medication, but your doctor will probably do some blood work just to make sure you are physically healthy. Perhaps therapy can help you to get things "back on track" so to speak, so you could ask your doctor who he recommends for non-medicated treatment.

    As far as talking to family members- that can be tricky, but in general I would hope family members would be understanding if you are not well. I think honesty is the best policy as trying to cover up your feelings may ultimately make you feel worse.

    Keep yourself as healthy as possible with enough rest, exercise and nutrition. Try to eliminate stress in your life, if you can. For those unpleasant things in your life you cannot change, try to accept them as part of life. Try to keep positive thoughts. When pleasant things were happening in my life, my anxiety always dropped off. Focus on the positive always.

  • Hey there, the first poster hit on the majority of great points, so I only wanted to fill in what few gaps they left.

    Know that there's so much you can do before you ever wind up on medication- talk and cognitive-behavior therapy can go a long way. If I could tell you one thing that's helped me on my anxiety journey, it's been learning that self-care isn't selfish. I think for women this is especially hard, because we're so often taught to care for others first. Please remember this when you feel like you can't share your feelings! If you're being considerate and honest, you deserve to air out your mind as much as the next person.

    Please know that this isn't a personal failing. I agree that people can be rather judgmental, and that's unfortunate. So find those 1 or 2 people in your life who are good listeners and stand by them; if you don't have any yet, you have us!

    One last thing I might say is that I'd strongly recommend getting to a better place- having a strong support network and a good idea of what's going on- before actively trying to conceive. The reason being that, if you're experiencing some emotional duress now, this can be compounded by pregnancy and postpartum hormonal changes.

    Nice to meet you, and hope to see you around!

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