My depression is bad. I'm starting to isolate myself. Me and my boyfriend are not in a right place. I hate that I'm so codependent on people. I feel so alone and depressed when we are not good. It makes me think horrible things about myself. Like I'm fat,ugly,worthless, everything thing is my fault.I will never be happy or have a good life. I just weight myself before picking something to eat. I keep texting him,begging him to come see me because I feel so alone. Why do I do that? Man I'm a person that wants someone to love them just as much as she loves them. I would love for someone to tell me how beautiful and how much they love me and appreciate me. I have been cheated on, beat, treated like I was worthless. I have given everything thing I mean everything. But the reason why I go hard on myself is because I'm a mother who would never want my kids treated this way. I am over protective. Because when I was a kid a lot of men did horrible things to me. I don't want them to ever go through that and be fucked up in the head like me. I don't know what to do anymore .