Heartbreak

My name is dcoco. I lost two pregnancies in two years with a man I've been together with for 4 1/2 half years. I love him very much, were not married but im devoted as any good woman and wife should be, but since this has happened he's strayed further and further away from me. My insides and heart are so broken. I wish he would be there for me. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and grief seem to overtake me so much I stopped working for two years. I was kicked out of our home and told I can't comeback till financials are restored. His daughter is like my own, and I feel the love and mother has for her child for her. I'm so sad and hurt. I don't want to be sad anymore I want to get better

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  • I'm very sorry that your feelings aren't being returned by the man in your life. I'm also sorry that he seems to have abandoned you. This is very sad and I wish I could change this for you.

    Do you understand that he doesn't want you in his life as you are now? He has shown that he only wants you if you're earning money working and contributing to the household financial upkeep. He doesn't seem to care about the loss of the 2 babies at all. Nor does he seem concerned about the loss and depression you feel regarding these 2 babies. Whether you heal from this terrible loss or not doesn't seem to matter to him. I suspect he is glad they didn't make it to full term because he's getting you out and away from him before the 2 of you can get pregnant again.

    I think it would help you to heal if you went to a grief counseling group like Hospice or GriefShare at a local church. Have you thought about this? Maybe even personal one-on-one counseling? You need to grieve and at the same time move on a little bit with your life. You sound like you're possibly not doing that by not working in the last 2 years. I can't be sure of this. Please accept my sympathy for your loss and also my recommendation that you either get in a group counseling situation or a one-on-one situation for grief counseling.

  • I understand your pain. I am 38 and in the span of a few months had 2 miscarriages. After the first on I tapered off of one anxiety medication and substituted it with another. The second one I was withdrawing from my medicine, had terrible morning sickness to go along with the withdrawal vomiting. In the midst of it all my grandmother got really sick and passed away. I week or so after that I found out I lost the baby at 10 weeks.

    Grief is different for everyone. There is no right way to grieve. People also say things that they think are helpful but they are not. There is no excuse that I have for him pulling away except that those were his babies as well. Don't let these losses dictate your life and stop you from doing things like working. That just gives u more time to sit around and think about your loss and what could have been. See if you can find a local support group for miscarriages or depression. There u will meet others in your situation who are local and can give u tips on how to handle your loss. Best of luck and keep your head up.

  • It is unfortunate that this man lacks compassion. Perhaps you should be thinking less about him, and more about how you might be able to reverse the mental health and pregnancy problems that have brought you here. When you mentioned your 2 issues, I immediately thought of these two posts:

    hypothyroidmom.com/have-you...

    hypothyroidmom.com/when-thy...

    If you have access to health care and have not had a thorough hormone evaluation, and esp. of thyroid function, now is the time to consider that. Just be careful not to get stuck with a doctor who is not state-of-the-art (there are many of those).

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