Sleep is non- existent

[tricemarie]

I can never sleep at night because my thoughts are racing, I'm currently in a loveless relationship with my kids father and he doesn't understand my illness he actually makes it worst with his lies and cheating. The reason I stay is for my kids but I feel like i am repeating a cycle. Growing up i watched my mother suffer from metal illness, she was bipolar and schizophrenic. For 25 years until my mother past away in 2012 she was married to and loved someone that couldn't deal with her mental illness so he cheated and lied and a few times she tried to end her life. It hurts so bad to go through this i am living a lie and it's slowly killing me I know I need to get out its been 9years and still no change i lose so much sleep over everything I have been through and continue to go through.

[BonnieSue]

What is keeping you from seeing a doctor about your anxiety problem? You're right about you repeating a cycle that your mother went through. You are going through the same life pattern that she did in terms of your relationship with your children's father. Is this what you want? You seem to be saying this is NOT what you want.

Now is a good time to make an appointment to see a doctor about treating your anxiety. You can see your GP or internist but a psychiatrist would be best. You could let the GP or internist start you out on an antidepressant for anxiety and still have set up an app't. with a psych Dr. because it might take some time to get into the psych. Dr. Don't be surprised if treating your anxiety allows some depression to show up because depression is usually present wherever anxiety is.

If you don't have a psych. Dr. in mind, you can look at the website Psychology Today for the philosophy, specialties, education, sliding scale fees, insurance accepted and so on of counselors also.

[tricemarie in reply to BonnieSue]

I have tried to talk to someone but it did not help me at all .

[BonnieSue in reply to tricemarie]

I'm sorry to hear that. I didn't mention a doctor you talk to but a psych doctor who prescribes meds and who diagnoses patients. That's all most psych Drs. are qualified to do these days. It's the counselors who do talk therapy... which you happen to need also, but I didn't mention them. You can always look for one with whom you CAN talk to when you're ready.

You describe enough anxiety that it probably isn't going to go away without medical treatment. Especially also because of the degree of your mother's problems.

[tricemarie in reply to BonnieSue]

I tried doctors and meds, I cannot take the meds I don't like the way they make me feel I use herbs and therapeutic oils.

[BonnieSue in reply to tricemarie]

As soon as an herb or therapeutic oil is found to be powerful it will fall under government control the same as many natural compounds and chemicals are now. Opium, morphine, melatonin, digitalis (foxglove) and so on. If they aren't regulated they aren't very powerful yet or they haven't come to the FDA's attention yet.

[tricemarie in reply to BonnieSue]

they help me better then the harmful medicines.

[BonnieSue in reply to tricemarie]

Very good.

[AnxiousGirl87]

You kids need two healthy parents, not two unhealthy unhappy married parents. You need to leave the relationship and work on you. That's what's best for you and your kids.

[tricemarie in reply to AnxiousGirl87]

I agree.