I just want to be normal again:(

[Meyer_Gdmnx]

I just want to go back to a time before all this happened a time to when I felt normal healthy and myself. But the more I think about it the further and further that time feels away and the idea of normal is now blurred to me it’s been so long

[snow_queen]

I know what you’re talking about...I sometimes think “I wish I could be a kid again and feel free and not be depressed” but then I remember that even though I didn’t have so much homework or a job when I was a kid, I was still afraid. I didn’t know how to trust people (which at least now I’m learning), and I had my first panic attack at age 8.

So I remember all this and then I realize that all I can do is move forward. No one is “normal” anyway, so I’m just out here trying to build a better life one step at a time and find happiness in as many places as I can. I think that’s what we’re all doing? We’re just all in different places in our journey 😊

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to snow_queen]

Thank you for your reply it was very helpful I am fortunate I suppose that my anxiety disorder in my late teens I’m only 21 now and it really started to become awful a year ago I had to quit my job became agoraphobic for pretty much three months I’m so so much better than I used to be but I still don’t feel like I’ll ever be who I was again I used to be bulletproof now everything and anything affects me. I get anxious about drinking cans of fizzy pop because I’m afraid of what they’ve touched and they might poison me and burn my throat.

[snow_queen in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx]

I'm sorry, that doesn't sound fun at all. I still feel very fragile a lot of the time, but like you I'm much better than I was a year ago...keep fighting

[Kkimm in reply to snow_queen]

Great reply

[Hidden]

Oh I am right there with you! I was ‘normal’ until 2 years ago when I suffered a trauma. I am now taking depression/anxiety medication. Never thought it would happen to me. Normal is just a blur now. I am sorry that the same holds true for you. Please know that I know how you feel.

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to Hidden]

I’m so so sorry you have to deal with these challenges. I am very fortunate to not have suffered any trauma I’m so deeply sorry you have to deal with that I have been dealing with health anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder for the past two years

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Hidden]

I like to think of events in life as wisdom exercises. What are you going to do with the knowledge you’re gaining from that trauma. Trauma happens to everyone. Are you going to beat that trauma and help some poor soul who is wandering around wondering what to do? Are you going to let it define you? It’s your choice. I have C-PTSD. It does not define me. I’ll bet you win because you’ve reached out. 💛

[Kkimm in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Very well said

[NeuronerdDoaty]

My normal is called my baseline. I never accepted normal nor expected it. I have no idea what it is and I would probably be bored.

True story. 14 days after brain surgery I accidentally married a con man. Four months later I had another brain surgery. I had retrograde amnesia for the four month interlude between brain surgeries so when I woke from the 2nd I found out I was married to a man I never even dated and was $63,000 lighter in the pocket.

I find this to be hilarious. Who does this happen to? It’s a great story. No I didn’t get my money back but he happened to already be married so he served time.

I’m apparently not normal. I don’t like drama though. Maybe that’s why my life is like a play to me where I’m sitting with the audience.

I hope you feel a little more normal now. If not, I’ve got a dozen more for you, all true! 😆

[snow_queen in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

that's the funniest thing I've heard all day, thank you for sharing!!

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to snow_queen]

Haha! Thank you....I mean it-I’ve got more. Lol!

[snow_queen in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I’ll listen to them anytime! Finding the humor in weird situations is so awesome 😊

[Hidden]

Since I was hospitalized I have realized there was a new normal. I always fear losing it again. I don't smile as much and I am different but I am wiser, more sensitive and enjoy each moment more than before. We can't go back no matter what. You have to make the best of what you are now.

[Kkimm in reply to Hidden]

Very well said Mel. I feel very similar to you and agree with you and other posters.

Best wishes MG, hope some of the comments have helped you. In many ways since going on antidepressants for GAD two years ago I am now back to normal in that I can do as much and more than I used to but accept that I will continue have some symptoms of anxiety and that is fine, I have gained in other ways

Kim

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Hidden]

But that happens to humans no matter what so you’re still normal. I think they lock you up if you act 16 when you’re 40. 😆

[Hidden]

Hi. I understand how you feel. I wish I could go back and redo this life over and maybe find what’s missing. I miss the freedom to just be me without any judgement or fear. I don’t think I’ve ever been normal. Life has thrown some pretty serious curve balls since I was young. But when you stop and think about it, no one is normal. Our flaws are what makes us beautiful. Our flaws differentiate us from the next person and gives us personality. So just try to embrace who you are at the core and breath through the pain, anxiety and depression the best you can. You’re not alone here.

[Kkimm in reply to Hidden]

Good response

[Want2BHappy3]

I feel you, I don't remember the last time I was HAPPY? When some comes in, I'm afraid something's going to go wrong?

[Hidden]

It just sucks doesn't it ... and by normal we are not even asking to feel amazing, I'd be happy with just ok .... I've just broken my foot on top of being so depressed so now I want to feel physically normal as well as mentally normal ... hope you get some relief soon xxxx

[Hidden]

Sending you wishes of peace. Try to find small joys in the current moment. I find when I look for small moments, they can overcome the sadness. But I have also learned ( continue to learn) to not be too hard on myself when I cannot be happy. Not my fault. It will pass.

[davis19792000]

In the same boat with you. Sending love to you all!!!

[fossygma]

I know exactly how you feel.

[marheart]

I agree. Don't know what normal is anymore.

Sure, lots of the junk could disappear. Uh oh, I hear the Therapist reminding me that I'm still to take control. Of course. Who else except that whacko anxiety/panic disorder would want to fight to take over. Me! That's who.