depressed and can't take medications

[Ruthie2]

Hello folks. I'm 66 years old, live alone with my 3 dogs and parrots and I was recently diagnosed with several life threatening illnesses. Due to renal failure and heart failure, my doctors don't want to prescribe any meds. What are your recommendations of dealing with depression in a case like this?? I also am isolating myself, unlike before. I do see a social worker, but don't find it very helpful at this point. I feel like I'm just waiting for my disease to take me out of this world and I'm not enjoying the days that I am above ground right now. Any help that you can give me will be appreciated. I have worked for 46 years as a nurse and due to my illness I only work 3 shifts per month. I don't know how to stop obsessing about my disease and the possibility that I may only be here 1-2 years. I have 3 dogs and 3 parrots that I love an I'm not ready to leave them. Thus I'm anxious as H___:)) help

[Taynted]

Im so sorry for you. My reply is sort of a question s as well- do you have family (besides your fur/feathered children) ? And what about friends? You said youre isolating yourself (i completely understand) but they should see this as a bad sign and not let you do so. If not id suggest joining a hobby group or maybe a bible stidy/even a book club. These are things you can check out online and usually can host at your own home. And cancel at any time- in my case i do often. I wish you all the love n luck. By the way-you gotta fight! For for your pets if nothing else . Im not sure your disease but as a nurse you must know the strength we have and the awesome fight in us all.

[Ruthie2 in reply to Taynted]

Thanks for your reply. My only sister is dying of COPDl My friends have either moved, have family and they have their own thing going on. i understand that. I'm quite happy with my dogs and parrots, and in fact my anxiety is to have to face leaving them in the next 3 years or so, but only God knows. I'm so scared and my doctors are in conflict with each other. I just can't stop obsessing about my demise that may be 1-5 years if i'm lucky.I'm pretty short of breath. I find i don't want to be with people. I did go to a TG dinner with my dog groomer and i was miserable. I just wanted to go home and be with my dogs. I hate going out and I used to be the life of the party it. Clear depression and anxiety. UGH. I am thinking about going to a bible study, but mostly I lay around on the couch with the dogs. I have so much decluttering to do in my house so that I an move to a rancher with no steps. I don't have the physical stamina or mores the emotional stamina. I have suffered from depression after my husband of 21 years abandoned me and took all the money out of my accounts. At 50 years old I started working 3 jobs to catch up so I could keep the house to keep my pets. I try to be positive, but find that my mind just twirls back to shear FEAR. I have tried acupuncture and I try to go out with friends that I have, but i'm miserable being out with them. I just want to go home and chill on the couch with my dear little dogs who love unconditionally.

I used to be so strong. I have lost that quality, but I keep plugging along. i have too. My dogs are spoiled rotten. I have started a Lucky 7 program where any pet over 7 years old gets adopted for free and it has been very successful. I have to get cracking to fund raise, but too depressed to make contacts. This too will pass, but man it' rough!! Thanks for your support. that helps a bunch. Happy NY. ruth

[MattWantsHelp in reply to Ruthie2]

My mom is a nurse and spends her free time with her dog. I asked her if she had any advice for you and she asks if you have tried taking your digs into the outdoors? You're not happy spending time with people, but try spending time in nature walking your dogs.

For me, I struggle with anxiety. I've found that spending time walking in the woods or near a river, I feel so much more at peace. Please give it a try, happy new year

[Ruthie2 in reply to MattWantsHelp]

thank you all for your tips. I will try to get out with nature and walk the dogs and see if that works. It's cold as heck here, but as the weather permits I'll give it a try!! Have a happy holiday everyone!! Ruth

[ArtGeek]

Hi Ruthie2; I'm married to someone who is about your age and is currently in an outpatient program that isn't working!! Sorry to hear they are unwilling to prescribe medication. The meds have sometimes helped hubbie, but they're not doing anything good at the moment - so maybe the meds aren't all there is to it. Sure hope you try to connect to someone. Trust me, you are not alone!! And God bless you for your work as a nurse, I'm sure you've contributed to the health of a lot of people over the years. Give your pets a hug and a kiss for me. I want to buy a dog, but right now is not the best time. Take care.

[Ruthie2]

Hi ArtGeek, Wow, I'm sorry about your partner! I'm not able to take meds because I have so many medical issues and I'm in renal failure so Docs are afraid to give me any additional meds other than the ones I;m on for medical conditions. You know, sometimes outpatient programs just aren't suited for everyone. There is ECT that is coming back for the profoundly depressed. I'm not profoundly depressed, just anxious and I guess depressed due to almost dying in the hospital in August. There is also a new thing out where these magnets or something are attached to the head each day for a period of time and they say they are getting good results with that. I would need to see more people on it for awhile. Go to the pound and get yourself a little dog. Often the older ones are already housebroken and have calmed down a bit. Puppies are fun, but they require a lot of work, housebreaking, chewing stuff, just getting into all kinds of trouble. You note was sweet re; blessing me as a nurse. The ironic thing is is that I'm a psychiatric emergency room nurse where patient's come in at their worse. I so enjoy seeing the patient's starting to feel hope. Some take longer than others. Give your meds a chance to work, could take a couple weeks. If you're not seeing an improvement you may need a med change. But I know most people don't want to take meds. I just try to enjoy what I can during each day, sometimes minutes! My dogs really help. As far as your partner, if this outpatient facility isn't helping, perhaps you have another one to try in your area. I bless you for sticking by your partner. From my work, I see a lot of breakups because one or the other can't tolerate an anxious and or depressed person around them. Take care!!!