Struggling

[Fittea]

First of all I want to apologise for not talking much, I haven't been well lately -

1) surprise period with heavy bleeding and intense pain

2) numbness, coldness and pain in my left thigh, and

3) low mood and fatigue, probably because of the above

Regarding (1) I don't usually have periods due to having the implant and taking the pill (plus probably my weight and other things but not sure), but sometimes I have them every few months, and when I do I get it bad (lasts for weeks and super heavy, usually with clots). So right now I'm suffering and feel really bad. Lot of pain, feel sick. Hot water bottle is helping slightly though. Regarding (2) I have a history of numbness, pins and needles, pain etc across my body but especially in my legs and hands. I have poor circulation to be honest. I have experienced it often in my outer thighs, especially left. However I have basically had it permanently in my left thigh all week so I rang 111 on Friday who referred to my doctors surgery and I had an appointment today. The doctor said it's meralgia paresthetica, which is what I thought it was after I did some Googling. However it literally just says to not wear tight clothing or lose weight. Helpful. You can also take pain killers, or in some cases have injections. The doctor said she doesn't want to resort to that yet. For now she's referred me for scans.

Something else that happened at the appointment though is that I mentioned how I experienced this back in June and had mentioned it to a doctor at my previous surgery and that doctor was AMAZING. She listened to me with all my health problems. She was so understanding and referring me for a bunch of things. I felt like I was getting somewhere. But then the surgery closed and I never heard back from anywhere. I didn't know who to contact. I tried to find the doctor. I Googled every surgery in my city, looked on their staff list, but couldn't find this doctor. I even tried Facebook and LinkedIn but no luck. When I mentioned the name to todays doctor, she said "oh, she works for us now". I froze and just started crying. I full on broke down. I didn't believe her. She said "no, really. We poached her! She works for us, but she's probably not listed on the website yet". What were the chances?! This doctor was so sweet and got me a tissue. She then looked on her computer and booked a telephone appointment for me with this doctor so I get to talk to her on Thursday. I'm nervous but so excited, I'm probably going to be so emotional. I can't wait to talk to her and hopefully continue where we left off. We had planned to look into serious help for my mental health, scans for my leg and back pain, she even mentioned the possibility that I have ME - never has a doctor said this to me, I had brought this up to some doctors but was always dismissed. I have a list to make to go over so many things - my weight, my vitamin defeciences, my thyroid function, my mental health, my leg and back issue, possible ME. Ahhh!

Sorry for the rant, but today / week has been emotional. As you can expect, because of all of this, it hasn't been great weight loss wise. I haven't been eating great. I don't even remember the last time I cooked something. I've been eating things like cereal, sandwiches, noodles etc. I had McDonalds yesterday - although I've been going by the casual rule of 1 cheat day a week anyway. I've just been feeling so crap that not only do I not feel like eating a big or hot meal, but I don't feel like cooking. So I'm totally expecting to maintain or even gain this week. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for it, telling myself that I've been unwell and it's just one week, but I know I'll be sad either way. I also wish I didn't have to wait until the end of the month to finally have my dietician appointment.

[setterlover]

Dear Fittes, that is far too many problems to be dealing with at one time. You must be exhausted. Is there one thing that helps you relax -having some flowers in the room, standing in some green, lighting a candle or a fire, or sitting and listening to some music? The stress you are feeling must be making everything else feel worse so try a couple of small things you enjoy. And be kind to yourself. X

[Bee-bop Maintainer 2st 7lbs]

Hi Fittea,

I have been similar top you in that health issues meant I haven't been around. They get in the way don't they!

I have CFS/ME and I know what you mean about finding an understanding DR who listens and actually wants to help find out what is happing. I have a cold right foot that I have no idea what causes it but, at least I was sent for tests to out rule other things. I hope the appointment on Thursday goes well, that is an amazing stroke of luck to find this DR again! No wonder it made you tearful.

I know it can be hard but, you have just been through quite a bit and weight loss does take a bit of a back seat sometimes but, you are aware of that and can hopefully you can start to get back on track now. Try not to be sad about the scale results. We have all been there where life has thrown a curve ball and we don't eat the best. Coming on here and acknowledging you've had a struggle with that is a major first step.