90 second keto bread 👍 👍 👍

[Subtle_badger]

I've been jonesing for bread and butter for a while. I went low carb early December, and have only had bread once since, on Christmas day. I have been having lucid dreams about eating slice after slice thickly buttered white bloomer doorsteps. The dreams have been nearly erotic.

Previously I had pooh-poohed the idea of keto bread, but yesterday I came home with "essential" ground almonds and actually essential eggs. One of the eggs was badly cracked, but the membrane was intact, so I decided to make a loaf: waste not, want not. I got the recipe wrong - too much almond. Despite that it came out OK.

It didn't really taste like the bread I was missing, but I sliced it into four and ate all of it smothered in salted Kerrygold.

It hit the spot, apparently. Last night I had a similarly vivid dream, but this time it was about Jeff Goldblum. 🤯 I didn't even realise I thought about about him that way!

headbangerskitchen.com/reci...

[Subtle_badger]

Why is this tagged with "anal and rectal conditions"??? Is there something about Jeff Goldblum I do not know?

Edit: oh, "pooh-poohed"!

[bikegrrrl 1lb in reply to Subtle_badger]

Oh that made me chuckle, Subtle-badger!

[bikegrrrl 1lb in reply to Subtle_badger]

PS I think that Jeff Goldblum looks a bit like the guy on HB kitchen, so maybe it all got mixed up in your brain...

[Subtle_badger in reply to bikegrrrl]

Not to my eye, but you may be right, maybe my subconscious agrees with you. It's very taciturn, often informing me of it's thoughts in weird and surprising ways.

[bikegrrrl 1lb in reply to Subtle_badger]

Brains, eh? I never try and second-guess mine, it's all over the place.

[OilpainterUS in reply to Subtle_badger]

Funny, sBADger! 😂

[xx2000 3kg in reply to Subtle_badger]

🤣🤣🤣

[BrynGlas in reply to Subtle_badger]

Roflmao!!!!

Can't have your keto bread if I need egg white Subtle_badger, but I am supposed to be able to use aquafaba as a substitute for egg white, so I will try that.

I am having problems loading the recipe, for some reason my internet is running vvvvvvveeeeeerrrrrrrrrriiiiiiieeeeeeee slow today. I couldn't watch my Spooks on iPlayer last night because it just wouldn't load, I was pretty miffed about that.

[Subtle_badger in reply to BrynGlas]

It's a very primitive recipe. Basically aerate ground almonds. The egg binds it, there are many alternatives to egg including soaked chia and flax as well as aquafaba. I suspect any would work and the advantage in not using eggs is you could make 1/2 or 1/4 quantity for testing. Probably reduce cooking time. It it didn't work, you could still chop it up and add it to a stir fry or as dumplings in a stew.

Let me know if you need me to paste the recipe in here.

[BrynGlas in reply to Subtle_badger]

No, I have managed to get the recipe downloaded now thanks. I would start a trial now, but my brother in law who gets hopelessly bored, has decided to start fixing in the original slate fire surround which was in this room (kitchen) since it was built I would think.

I had it taken out because is was painted a sickly pink when we bought this place in 1991. I could not shift the paint so had it parked out in the weather for all these years, which has lifted most of the paint pretty well, apart from a few streaks of yellow paint -there were layers upon layers of the stuff - which is left on one of the uprights, which I am confident of being able to move. Anyway, parts of the original need trimming some, so there will be dust everywhere and everything will be covered in dust - he does love to make a mess - and I have managed to cover most areas up, though you know what dust is like! He is a creature of impulse, but best to let him get on with it. It could be worse!

Hope all members are well today, keep safe.

[Sheperdess Maintainer]

OMG, I can’t believe you just posted this 😯I made this bread 🍞 for lunch today and had smoked mackerel pate and smoked salmon as toppings 😊It worked well but I do agree with you that it doesn’t really taste like bread. The version I used had a bit more almond flour and butter. It’s good to know you can have it if you want it 👍

[Subtle_badger in reply to Sheperdess]

I can’t believe you just posted this

Don't you love being anonymous! 😉

[IndigoBlue61]

Ooooh Jeff Goldblum . . . King of the Nerds 😂

[Salcheq 1kg]

I love this bread, it is my life saver as a gluten free person. I do buy gluten free bread now and again, but it isn't wonderful, to say the least.

[Vale57]

HA ha, loved the post.... I gorra try the bread tomorrow. As to Jeff it wasn't your brain thinking of 'Golden Bloomer' was it .... oh you've done it!! I want it NOW but fasting til morning. I will be up eating at about 4am!! 😂

[Subtle_badger in reply to Vale57]

While it's in the microwave in the morning, come on here and tells us what you dreamt about overnight!

[Vale57 in reply to Subtle_badger]

I still didn't do the bread! Lol! It left my brain, But I did dream about sitting by the river painting eggs brown. And Jeff didn't come and buy any!!! 🥺

[Subtle_badger in reply to Vale57]

Oh, you could have had keto bread for breakfast, with the scratchings!

[Vale57 in reply to Subtle_badger]

I am going to make some .......NOW! lol. x

[Vale57 in reply to Vale57]

Done it! as you say, not a lot like real bread, but quite tasty! thank you. ❤

[OilpainterUS]

I, toi, was thinking about this Mug recipe this morning. 😊

I'm this recipe I like to add dill and perhaps other savoury herbs. Like sheperdess, smoked salmon and cream cheese...delish!

For holidays, I put out everyone's special mug with lots of things for them to create their own dish: flours, pepperoni, blueberries, cherrirs, raisins, dates, chocolate chips, coconut, nuts, cheese, etc. They love being able to make something yummy. I like they can help themselves.

No dreams last night to share!

[Subtle_badger in reply to OilpainterUS]

Excellent.

I don't think I am ready to cater a keto party. Well done.

I accidentally did the same thing with sushi, back when it was a novelty. I had the kitchen all set up with a bamboo roller etc, rice under a damp teatowel and prepared fillings. I made a few rolls and when they were nearly done, went to prepare some more. One of my guests said "can I have a go?", I showed him the basics. I never made any more, they were queueing up to do my work for me.

Damn, I miss sushi! When I hit my goal weight I may move from Mediterranean to Okinawan!

[OilpainterUS in reply to Subtle_badger]

Oooh, I may steal your Sushi idea! That's brilliant. Your friends sound fun! My family up north rarely eats Sushi. This may be a good way to introduce them to it while they get exactly their flavors.

I love sushi, too! BF just said we need to go to Japan. I have artist friends who paint their Cherry Blossoms every year. I am key to go! My place overlooks the Cherry Blossoms at the Jefferson Memorial. I am so missing that view. 😪

See you in Okinawan!

[Subtle_badger in reply to OilpainterUS]

Please borrow that idea. The one who started it was Douglas, the vegetarian, so I can't claim copyright.

My first trip outside my home country was to Japan, when I was in my early 20s. It was a magical experience. I remember we landed in Tokyo right about this time of year, and the day we arrived the cherry trees had just started to bloom, and the next day it snowed! I had only ever seen the snow once in my life (so my parents told me, I didn't remember it), and watching it settle on the buildings and temples was just amazing.

I was also escorted from a US marine officer's hotel room by MPs and had to scale the fence to get back into the convent at 3am, where everyone thought we were dead, because apparently all bars had been shut for hours by then.

Plus Japanese school children kept wanting me in their photos. I never understood why. I sadly didn't think to give them my camera, so I would have a record.

[BrynGlas]

I have been puzzling ever since I got home, why I have a large bag of ground almonds in my freezer. I saw your message and realised straight away, I bought it to make Keto bread! LoL I am not allowed dairy though, so I will make do with Vitalite.

I have to say that I love toast, do you think it will go crispy if toasted? Must take a note of the recipe. I have seen a recipe somewhere that uses psyllium husks too because I have a stash of those too, but what for I have no idea. I am always losing something you know!

[Sheperdess Maintainer in reply to BrynGlas]

I toasted mine and it did get a slightly crispy top to it 👍

[BrynGlas]

Sounds good, I will have a trial asp. Thanks Sheperdess, thanks.

[Subtle_badger in reply to BrynGlas]

Before Sheperdess replied, I was going to say "I imagine it tastes like toasted almonds"

You definitely won't get that lovely contrast between the crisp outside and the fluffy middle, because it is not fluffy.

I think you can make it in any receptacle you like. If you are planning on toast, something about 40% bigger than a mug will give you 2 slices of twice the area, but better for a toaster.

You could even use a square container.

Let us know the results, good or bad.

[OilpainterUS in reply to Subtle_badger]

I get fluffy keto bread if I add baking soda and moreso if I add another egg. But, then its more Keto cake!

[Subtle_badger in reply to OilpainterUS]

I think either you and I have a different understanding of "fluffy" or it's because I used ground almonds not almond flour, mine had a different texture than yours.

[Racheller]

Subtle_badger do you know how many spoons of almond flour is 30g?

I will try it tomorrow for breakfast 😋

[Subtle_badger in reply to Racheller]

I make a tablespoon of ground almonds at 4g. The Nutrition Coordinating Center Food & Nutrient Database says 6 or 7g.

Choose your poison. The recipe will work with either value, I think, as I added more than the recipe said.

[Racheller in reply to Subtle_badger]

Thank you!