Feeling horribly deprived of late & everything that could go wrong was going wrong.......in sheer frustration, bought a packet of cigs & a bottle of scotch & got stuck into them. Now for the good news....After half a bottle of scotch & half a pack of cigs I felt crook. I had a crap taste in my mouth & I got no satisfaction or buzz from the smokes. Poured the remaining scotch out into the yard, crushed & binned the remaining cigs. It's hard to see any good from a major relapse but I'm pleased that it didn't satisfy my feeling of deprivation. It didn't improve all the bad things that were happening. All it did was make me feel ill (& a little stupid)
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