Dear All,
A man goes into a Pub and orders- two pints of Beer, two Whisky chasers and a bottle of White Wine. The Barman places the Drinks onto a try, at which the man says "I shouldn't have 'done' that, with what I've Got" "What HAVE you 'got'?" asks the Barman. To which the man replies "About sixty-seven pence!".
Two men call the Landlord over "Excuse me Sir" they say "but can you Resolve an argument, please? My friends says a quart is Two Pints and I say it's Four Pints, which is correct please?" "It's Two Pints" replies the Landlord.
The two men then walk to the other end of the bar "two pints of Best please and there 'on the house'" The Barman is rather surprised, by his Bosses generosity, and questions it. one man calls over "That's right you said Two Pints?" "Yes" replies the Boss "Two Pints".
A man walks into a Bar with a small Reptile, over his shoulder. "What do you call 'him'?" asks the Barman "I call him 'Tiny'" replies the man. "why is that?" further enquires the Server "Because" starts the man.... wait for this "He's MY NEWT!"
Two men are talking at the Bar "So you come from near here, where abouts.... that's amazing so do I." "What street are you from? Incredible, so do I!".........
"Anything 'going on tonight Bill? asked Harry "Not really, just the Brown Twins Drunk again!"
One No pub Joke.... Professor Mathews had been Lecturing All week and,
was finally, returning home. However as he approached he, suddenly realised, that he couldn't remember the Name- of the Street- he lived in.
Seeing a 'Well Turned Out' Young Man, he approached him and said "I'm Professor Mathews and I live near here, you don't know exactly 'where' do you?" "Come on Dad!" replied the youth "follow me."
Hope I raised a Smile, or two.
AndrewT
