Well they all like fish!! ( and some ... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Well they all like fish!! ( and some cringe jokes 😊)

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits
β€’32 Replies

A piece of black tarmac and a piece of pink tarmac are having a drink in a pub. Suddenly there's a commotion as piece of green tarmac kicks the doors open, storms up to the bar, helps himself to a pint, smashes the empty glass against the wall and storms out again, deliberately knocking over three tables on the way.

"You're not gonna let him get away with that, are you?", the black tarmac asks the landlord.

"Oh, you don't wanna mess with him", he replies, "he's a cycle path".

I spotted an albino dalmatian yesterday.

It was the very least I could do.

Had a massive row with my boss the other day.

Just one of the benefits of working at the boating lake

A Spanish woman has given birth to identical twin boys named Juan and Amal.

She told journalists I only carry one photo of the babies because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal"

I went to our local Chinese restaurant last night and got chatting to the waiter. He told me he lived in Japan during the war and was a Kamikaze pilot. Because he was Chinese he was given the Call Sign 'Chow Mein'.

I said 'Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kamikaze pilots sacrifice their own lives?' To which he replied -

'I was Chicken Chow Mein'

I used to have a fear of chestnut trees.

But then I conquered it.

A beginner's guide to chromosomes:

XY - Male

XX - Female

YYY - Delilah

And Frank!!!

Grandson Frank asked " Grandad where does poo come from?"

To make it simple I just said.

"You just had breakfast?"

"Yes" he replied

" well the food goes into your mouth down into your tummy. Then your body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food, and then what's left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet it comes out as poo".

He looked completely confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds.

Then he asked " And what about Piglet"πŸ™‰

32 Replies

Another great pic πŸ‘πŸ˜ƒ

Agoodenough profile image

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Love your Jokes!

Smiler53 profile image

They made me chuckle πŸ˜€

MadBunny profile image

How do you communicate with a fish?

Drop it a line🐟

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to MadBunny

A mate texted me that there are speed cameras on the M50 if any West Ham fans are looking for 3 points πŸ€”xx

MadBunny profile image
MadBunny in reply to Bazzak

πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„Could apply to the M1 and Sheff Utd fans as wellxx

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

Grrrrr! πŸ˜„πŸŒΈ

hypercat54 profile image

These are hilarious and love the photoshop picture. 😁😁

footgo profile image

Thank you Barry my mate! πŸ™ƒ

Thank you for cheering us all up, it is raining here heavily, by the weather forecast we will have a week of rain. Saying that, you will be in much demand keeping us all amused hopefully.πŸ˜‰

The penguin family is brilliant, I just love it.

Poor Frank, you did well Barry with your answer.

Wishing you and your family a safe passage through these very difficult times, Tim.

blackbeauty99 profile image



πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Cycle path hilarious🀣🀣

Marnie22 profile image

Very good. Extra cute picture! πŸ˜€πŸŒΈ

bobbybobb profile image

That picture is great Bazzak. πŸ‘πŸ˜

As awful as ever Bazzak! Love β€˜em and love the penguins too! 😁

Sheila_G profile image

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I can't stop laughing now. They are the best ones yet. You are the best tonic ever. I was wondering where you had gone. Obviously writing your latest book of jokesπŸ˜‚. Fantastic. Keep them coming please. The picture is absolutely brilliant.

mattymoo33 profile image


GardenMW profile image

Like Sheila G I love your sense of humour and yes please keep them coming

Thankyou πŸ‘

Nilsam profile image

Well done, Bazzak. Made me giggle. Thank you so much. πŸ€ΈπŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ‘πŸ»

JKW1 profile image

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ oh dear! Poor Pooh πŸ‘Ό

Bazzak, you do make me laughπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Hahaha good ones

KB47 profile image

Love em and Love the Photo. Bill is so cute, so are the Penguins πŸ‘

Had a good giggle reading your jokes.

You make a better job than Laughing gas.

Certainly a good tonic. You do make me laugh. Thankyou Bazzak. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ xx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to KB47

Thank you darling, hope thiings are not too bad for you, always here if you need a chat, and you also have a very good friend in Lynne she would/will be there for you always!. ( and me also xx)πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•xxx

KB47 profile image
KB47 in reply to Bazzak

Hi Bazzak, Lynne just rang me up because she's not receiving messages from anyone .She can't send any messages out either. Have you any ideas what the trouble is. This have been happening off and on for a while now. She's been asking Admin for help. But it's happened again .πŸ’•πŸ’žxxx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to KB47

Hello Glo is it just Healthunlocked or anybody?. If you send a msg to her private email does she receive it it ? πŸ’•πŸ’•xx

KB47 profile image
KB47 in reply to Bazzak

Hi Bazzak, it's all sorted out for now. If I sent a message to her private Email she wasn't getting it. She couldn't send one to me either. Lynne just messaged me and said that Jerry told her , that because she was so polite , she was classed as a Spam .I didn't even know what a spam was until I looked it up.

Sometimes you just can't win. I used to be on the Fibromyalgia Forum until some Stupid Admin accused me of swearing , because I used the word hell. I was trying to explain the pain I was in and I said that I hurt like hell. Then he accused me of shouting and trying to cause trouble because sometimes I used CAPITAL Letters. I thought it was a woman that I was having the disagreement with. But it wasn't Hahaha. It was a Man..He more or less threatened me about having me removed from the Fibro Forum. But I didn't give him the chance. I finished with them 1st. It was a shame really, because I made a lot of Friends on there ,and because I've got Fibromyalgia they all helped me a lot and I helped them..

Aww phone gotta be charged. πŸ’•πŸ’žπŸ€—xx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to KB47

Glad it's all sorted Glo, I'm sure you are a lady who can stand up for herself and there's nothing wrong in that. You stay safe and love to all.πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ’•πŸ’•

KB47 profile image
KB47 in reply to Bazzak

Thanks Bazzak. Hope you have a lovely day. but stay Safe . Love from our Princess AvaπŸ™‹β€β™€οΈ,myself and John. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• xxx

KB47 profile image

Thanks Bazzak, Things are little easier now that we know our Princess Ava πŸ‘Έ is doing okay. Fingers crossed now for John 🀞 Then perhaps for me 🀞.

I know that I've got a good Friend in Lynne. Hopefully she's coming here to visit us next year. Can't wait to meet my Lovely online Friend

I know that we're not supposed to give our proper names and addresses out to each other .But Lynne and I seem different. We have sent each other cards etc for a while now. Trish and I have exchanged addresses as well. I've had some lovely cards and messages from her. But she's been a bit quiet of late though. I'm gonna ask Lynne if she's heard from her. I can't talk much on the phone , because of my breathing..

But our Lynne can make it up for me.

Hahaha. She'll chuckle over that.πŸ’•πŸ’žxxx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to KB47

Love to you both, and you families.❀❀x

KB47 profile image
KB47 in reply to Bazzak

Thankyou Bazzak. Love to you and Sue as well. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’ž.xx

RLN-overcomer profile image

OMG thank you for those jokes :| , especially the tarmac, and poo-h ones. LOL :|

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