It's so rare when all the planets align!😊

[Bazzak]

Went to see a band called The Prevention.

They were better than The Cure.

Archaeologists have discovered a book in Dublin that has been missing since the 1700s.

It's called IRISH DANCING PART 2 ................WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR ARMS .

Just saw a bloke at Aldi with 20 crates of San Miguel and 30 paella ready meals.

Obviously Hispanic buying.

I was walking past a pet shop, & there was a beautiful cat sitting in the shop window. Next to it was a sign saying 'Cat imported from Holland for sale'

So I went in and asked....

"How Dutch is that moggy in the window?"

In a pub, at the bar:

Customer (pointing at the "Free Wifi" sign): What's the password?

Barman: You have to buy a drink first.

C: Fair enough. I'll have a pint of lager.

B: Foster's, Carling, or Carlsberg?

C: Carling, please.

B: Here you are. That'll be £3.

C: Thank you (pays £3). So, what's the password?

B: youhavetobuyadrinkfirst All lower case, no spaces.

I was alone in the bath this morning.

Imagine my surprise when

I felt a tap on my shoulder. !

What's Irish and stays outside all year long ?

Paddy O'Furniture.

.

Some idiot keeps ringing me up , singing "prince charming" and ' stand and deliver' down the line .

I keep telling him he has the wrong number but he's adamant .