Went to see a band called The Prevention.
They were better than The Cure.
Archaeologists have discovered a book in Dublin that has been missing since the 1700s.
It's called IRISH DANCING PART 2 ................WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR ARMS .
Just saw a bloke at Aldi with 20 crates of San Miguel and 30 paella ready meals.
Obviously Hispanic buying.
I was walking past a pet shop, & there was a beautiful cat sitting in the shop window. Next to it was a sign saying 'Cat imported from Holland for sale'
So I went in and asked....
"How Dutch is that moggy in the window?"
In a pub, at the bar:
Customer (pointing at the "Free Wifi" sign): What's the password?
Barman: You have to buy a drink first.
C: Fair enough. I'll have a pint of lager.
B: Foster's, Carling, or Carlsberg?
C: Carling, please.
B: Here you are. That'll be £3.
C: Thank you (pays £3). So, what's the password?
B: youhavetobuyadrinkfirst All lower case, no spaces.
I was alone in the bath this morning.
Imagine my surprise when
I felt a tap on my shoulder. !
What's Irish and stays outside all year long ?
Paddy O'Furniture.
.
Some idiot keeps ringing me up , singing "prince charming" and ' stand and deliver' down the line .
I keep telling him he has the wrong number but he's adamant .
xx
Laughter