It's so rare when all the planets al... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

9,716 members β€’ 9,825 posts

It's so rare when all the planets align!😊

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits
β€’54 Replies

Went to see a band called The Prevention.

They were better than The Cure.

Archaeologists have discovered a book in Dublin that has been missing since the 1700s.

It's called IRISH DANCING PART 2 ................WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR ARMS .

Just saw a bloke at Aldi with 20 crates of San Miguel and 30 paella ready meals.

Obviously Hispanic buying.

I was walking past a pet shop, & there was a beautiful cat sitting in the shop window. Next to it was a sign saying 'Cat imported from Holland for sale'

So I went in and asked....

"How Dutch is that moggy in the window?"

In a pub, at the bar:

Customer (pointing at the "Free Wifi" sign): What's the password?

Barman: You have to buy a drink first.

C: Fair enough. I'll have a pint of lager.

B: Foster's, Carling, or Carlsberg?

C: Carling, please.

B: Here you are. That'll be Β£3.

C: Thank you (pays Β£3). So, what's the password?

B: youhavetobuyadrinkfirst All lower case, no spaces.

I was alone in the bath this morning.

Imagine my surprise when

I felt a tap on my shoulder. !

What's Irish and stays outside all year long ?

Paddy O'Furniture.

.

Some idiot keeps ringing me up , singing "prince charming" and ' stand and deliver' down the line .

I keep telling him he has the wrong number but he's adamant .

54 Replies
β€’

You never cease to make me laugh even though some are sooo corny!!!

Hope you and yours are well

Take care and stay safe Lynne

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to

πŸ’•xx

Snowdrops_17 profile image
Snowdrops_17 in reply to Bazzak

Hope tap on your shoulder wasn't a cheeky cat, Bazzak! Well it made me laugh, after my shift today πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜…πŸ‘‹

Success πŸ‘‹

Love your photo, hilarious!

Secondly what to do with your arms, Irish dancing 2! Well most of the time: keep them by your side!🀣

Big_Dee profile image
Big_Dee in reply to Snowdrops_17

Hello Snowdrops_17

IRISH DANCING PART 2 ................WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR ARMS, must have been a very thin book, easy to lose. :)

Snowdrops_17 profile image
Snowdrops_17

Well glad you got that off ya chest, Bazzak πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€—πŸ›€πŸ˜·πŸΊπŸ₯°πŸŒˆ

Snowdrops_17 profile image
Snowdrops_17

Hope your day has been good so far Bazzak, and not too much rain! Been holding here not to bad but it's another shower again this late afternoon! Ha well glad I am at home! πŸ˜…β˜”

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Snowdrops_17

Been raining here all day snowdrops, so have just been chilling, which is quite enjoyable 😁😁xx

springcross profile image
springcross

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ particularly for the planets. x

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22

Quantity AND quality. I am impressed!

Just to add a tiny extra - what about that guy who started to learn tap dancing but gave up because he kept falling in the sink? Also the woman who failed her driving test because she opened the door to let the clutch out.........?

πŸ˜„πŸŒΈ

Agoodenough profile image
Agoodenough in reply to Marnie22

πŸ˜‚

Patricia88 profile image
Patricia88 in reply to Marnie22

An Irishman lost his key and could not lock the door,so he took door to the pub with him.barman said don't loss door paddy or you'll not get in tonight.ahh paddy said,I thought about that and l left window open .πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Patricia88

😁x

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits

Very good 🀣🀣

I went to see a brilliant Elbow tribute band called Arse.

I couldn't tell one from the other.

πŸ™‰πŸ™‰ will I get told off? 😊xx

Agoodenough profile image
Agoodenough in reply to Bazzak

haha oooh I do hope so πŸ˜‚

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Agoodenough

You're very bad! I like that! πŸ˜„πŸŒΈ

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

Excellent! Wonder if the band Elbow have heard that one?!

😁🌸

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to Bazzak

TUT!! xx ;) xx

blackbeauty99 profile image
blackbeauty99 in reply to Bazzak

Lol! πŸ˜‚

footgo profile image
footgo

A very good evening to you Barry and to your wife.

We definitely need you during this rather unpleasant weather, sorry, in fact in all weathers, rain or shine! πŸŒžπŸ˜€

I heard the tap one years ago and still laugh at it! Thank you for reminding me.

I love them all, β€œyouhavetobyadrinkfirst” l can honestly believe, it is brilliant!!

Take care of yourselves, have a wonderful week, best wishes T & C.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to footgo

Best wishes you three too Tim, stay safe πŸ’•x

Jennymary profile image
Jennymary

Really love the password joke, really made me laugh 😊😊😊😊

Agoodenough profile image
Agoodenough

Very funny Bazzak! 🀣🀣

Monsieur, with these jokes you are really spoiling us! 🀣🀣🀣

leo60 profile image
leo60

How did you manage to get those lovely gentlemen to sit like that on the bus Barry? You must have been to the Blarney stone!! Sorry but the Cure are the bestest!! Hope you get to walk Frank to school in the dry tomorrow xx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to leo60

Re tomorrow me too ! Thank you Laurie hope you are well xx😘

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to Bazzak

Yeah good thanks! Looking forward to having Skye tomorrow, we're going to make Pizza and study Autumn! That involves rooting about in the garden, finding what is in season and sticking it, weather it likes it or not! Luckily she is sensitive to living things, so I don't have to tell her not to stick butterflies etc!! ;) Have a lovely evening Barry :) xx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to leo60

Have a lovely day with Skye tomorrow, well I know you will !! πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

leo60 profile image
leo60

Thank you my lovely 😘😘😘 xx

Activity2004 profile image
Activity2004

Another really great one! Thank you! I needed it this afternoon.πŸ˜€πŸ‘πŸŒˆ

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Activity2004

Hope you are well Leah πŸ’•

Activity2004 profile image
Activity2004 in reply to Bazzak

Everything is going fine. How’s it going for you, Barry?πŸ˜€πŸ‘πŸŒˆ

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Activity2004

Fine darling, it's been raining all day here so I have just relaxed. πŸ™‚

Activity2004 profile image
Activity2004 in reply to Bazzak

Sunny day, but really cool temperatures. Was really busy today.

Up this morning at 3:30 and then went back to sleep after a small snack.

Sunfloweronline profile image
Sunfloweronline

Oh your a smart - - - -!

Just a pun!

Very funny ha ha!!

Well done hun 😊

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Sunfloweronline

😁xx

blackbeauty99 profile image
blackbeauty99

Thankyou for these, funny as always! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

VelvetSky profile image
VelvetSky

Love the jokes!

Sheila_G profile image
Sheila_G

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Absolutely brilliant. Another great start to the day. Thank you Bazzak.

Judyspal profile image
Judyspal

Haha love it

keeptalking profile image
keeptalking

Please keep them coming. They were just what I need in the morning. I’m sure one of those planets on the bus was my husband.

cog4 profile image
cog4

So funny. Haven’t laughed so muchπŸ˜‚

Lol thanks I needed a laugh 😁😺

Smiler53 profile image
Smiler53

Very good πŸ˜‚

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Hahaha love the picture and jokes not too bad today.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Craftyperson

Cheeky sausage! 😊xx

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

Me? Never!! I am a cheeky monkey though

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Craftyperson

That proves it I'm dyslexic it's silly sausage isn't it !

I am a dyslexic with an obsession with 80s experimental music.

I can Phil it Collin in the air tonight

πŸ™‰

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

I love Phil Collins seen him live twice and Genesis twice. Its very apt that I'm a cheeky monkey as I was born in Chinese year of the monkey, which everyone that knows me says is VERY apt

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Craftyperson

😁xπŸ’• I'm sure it is aptxx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

In a cheeky way πŸ˜‰x

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

Oh yes

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

It is believe me!! LOL

JKW1 profile image
JKW1

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œπŸ‘

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT

The AdamAnt one is BrilliAntπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€.

AndrewT

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