They are bad, I know πŸ™‚x: My Chinese... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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They are bad, I know πŸ™‚x

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits
β€’38 Replies

My Chinese friend next door said to me "I've opened a crows shop"

I said, "Don't you mean a clothes shop?"

He said, "No, a crows shop, come and take a rook.

I asked my local baker why all of his cakes were 50p but one was Β£1.

He said β€œthat’s Madeira cake”

I rang Sea World to buy some tickets.

I got a message that said this call may be used for training porpoises

An 89 year old bloke got stopped by the police around 2am and was asked where he was going at this time of the night.

He replied " I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effect it has on the human body as well as smoking and staying out late"

The officer asked " Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of the night?"

Bloke replies " That would be my wife "

just met the manager of the Chinese restaurant where Toyah Willcox eats.

It's a Mr Wei.

I was in a Scottish pub last week, also doing a crossword. I got stuck on β€œstranded on a desert island”. Eight letters. I had the first two letters β€œMA”. When a local Scotsman said β€œmarooned” six people asked for a pint of lager.

38 Replies
blackbeauty99 profile image

Haha love your jokes they always cheer me up! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to blackbeauty99


Jennymary profile image

So bad, they're good 😊😊😊😊😊

You do make me laugh πŸ˜‚πŸ‘β˜ΊοΈ

in reply to

Me too πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

thara9643 profile image


springcross profile image

😁😁 x

SORRELHIPPO profile image
SORRELHIPPOReading Rabbits

Thanks for my evening giggle

Activity2004 profile image

Extremely funny and made my night! Thank you, Bazzak !πŸ˜€πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸŒˆ

Brilliant, just the pick me up I needed this morning Bazzak specially after last night's disappointing resultπŸ˜‘

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to

I thought you won? Xx

in reply to Bazzak

Penalties! So tired last night couldn't even watch me own team win! xx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to


Agoodenough profile image

Very funny! Great start to the day x πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

footgo profile image

Good morning Barry

I awoke this morning to the the sound of a certain very young lady requesting to be let out. Tickie our puppy! I opened the curtains and the door to be greeted by heavy rain and a very strong wind. Tickie was very brave but was back indoors, pronto.

I picked up my mobile and there at the top of all the new messages was your posting, so many of your masterpieces Barry, thank you. That is honestly the best way to be greeted. Made my day!

Have a wonderful day Barry and your family, with best wishes from your mate Tim.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to footgo

Dont know what it's like where you are Tim, but in London it's gale force wind and non stop rain. I ruined two umbrellas picking Frank up and taking him to school!.

You, Carmen and Tickie stay safe mate

All the best Barry

footgo profile image
footgo in reply to Bazzak

Thank you Barry for your message, yes it seems to be raining in many places today. I hope that Frank’s umbrella has survived this wind, it certainly is very strong today.

It must be lovely doing the school run with Frank, apart from this Autumnal weather. I am sure that he loves being with you, a real treat.

My Granddaughter’s flu has developed into bronchitis, she has now finished a course of antibiotics, but she still has a really bad cough and is feeling very weak. She was hit with this straight after returning to school.

Take care, Tim.

glo42 profile image

Your post has brightened up a wet dull rainy morning. Thanks. Enjoy your day.

SquirrelsHolt profile image

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚. Got me chuckling !! 🐿🌈

leo60 profile image

Only read these this morning Barry (soz), but made me smile on such a miserable day ;) Thank you! Have a lovely day xx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to leo60

Hope you are well Laurie, it is terrible weather, stay safe. πŸ’•xx

leo60 profile image
leo60 in reply to Bazzak

Truly horrible! Sorry about your brollies, hope it eases up before you pick Frank up! I am going nowhere today at all!! ;) xx

JKW1 profile image

Boom! Boom! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Always knew kitties were smart...this is the "proof of the pudding"! Thx for the smiles, Bazzak!

Agoodenough profile image

3 hours later and I'm still laughing at your jokes! 🀣

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Agoodenough


Big_Dee profile image

Hello Bazzak

That was a good start to my day.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Big_Dee

Hello Big Dee, thank you, hope you and that special lady on your life have a great day. πŸ’• ( the hearts are for your wife not you! 😁)

Sunfloweronline profile image

Thanks so much Ha ha 😊Therese

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Sunfloweronline

Thank you Therese πŸ’•x

A colleague at my old job had an extremely bossy pure white cat called Elvis!

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to

Perhaps he just wanted to be their Teddy Bear! πŸ™‰πŸ™‚xx

in reply to Bazzak

She had a pure black cat called fluffy and a silver tabby called Ramone and bossy Elvis would pick on Ramone!

ZoeSwifty profile image

Very funny! Zoe x

MadBunny profile image

Dreadful as usualπŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Groan!! Some not too bad LOL

Aquinas profile image

You do us all so much good by cheering us up. Thank you so much.

coat2003 profile image

cracking sense of humour. I cannot remember a joke. THE VERY LAST MESSAGE, a xmas brandy, Bayle's talking, I am a cheap drunk:) one shot does me. a whole bottle, dancin g o n the ceiling. ha ha ha mx

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