Archaeologists have discovered a book in Dublin that has been missing since the 1700s.
It's called IRISH DANCING PART 2 ................WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR ARMS .
Just saw a bloke at Aldi with 20 crates of San Miguel and 30 paella ready meals.
Obviously Hispanic buying.
I was walking past a pet shop, & there was a beautiful cat sitting in the shop window. Next to it was a sign saying 'Cat imported from Holland for sale'
So I went in and asked....
"How Dutch is that moggy in the window?"
In a pub, at the bar:
Customer (pointing at the "Free Wifi" sign): What's the password?
Barman: You have to buy a drink first.
C: Fair enough. I'll have a pint of lager.
B: Foster's, Carling, or Carlsberg?
C: Carling, please.
B: Here you are. That'll be Β£3.
C: Thank you (pays Β£3). So, what's the password?
B: youhavetobuyadrinkfirst All lower case, no spaces.
I was alone in the bath this morning.
Imagine my surprise when
I felt a tap on my shoulder. !
What's Irish and stays outside all year long ?
Paddy O'Furniture.
.
Some idiot keeps ringing me up , singing "prince charming" and ' stand and deliver' down the line .
I keep telling him he has the wrong number but he's adamant .
Written by
Bazzak
Reading Rabbits
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
54 Replies
β’
You never cease to make me laugh even though some are sooo corny!!!
Hope your day has been good so far Bazzak, and not too much rain! Been holding here not to bad but it's another shower again this late afternoon! Ha well glad I am at home! π β
Just to add a tiny extra - what about that guy who started to learn tap dancing but gave up because he kept falling in the sink? Also the woman who failed her driving test because she opened the door to let the clutch out.........?
An Irishman lost his key and could not lock the door,so he took door to the pub with him.barman said don't loss door paddy or you'll not get in tonight.ahh paddy said,I thought about that and l left window open .πππππ
How did you manage to get those lovely gentlemen to sit like that on the bus Barry? You must have been to the Blarney stone!! Sorry but the Cure are the bestest!! Hope you get to walk Frank to school in the dry tomorrow xx
Yeah good thanks! Looking forward to having Skye tomorrow, we're going to make Pizza and study Autumn! That involves rooting about in the garden, finding what is in season and sticking it, weather it likes it or not! Luckily she is sensitive to living things, so I don't have to tell her not to stick butterflies etc!! Have a lovely evening Barry xx
I love Phil Collins seen him live twice and Genesis twice. Its very apt that I'm a cheeky monkey as I was born in Chinese year of the monkey, which everyone that knows me says is VERY apt
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.