Until I received THE letter, I was coping fine pottering along in my little bubble of belief that I'm not high risk and although self isolating, if I got desperate I could nip to the supermarket....
Since then... I had an initial meltdown, but have been so close to tears so often. It is really not like me. I cope. I get on with it. I am strong and optimistic. Now, I dare not think about the future because 12 weeks is a joke - it is not going to end for us until a solution is found. Unfortunately, I am bright enough to realise the truth of the situation. So I can't see beyond this... yet - and that really gets to me.
I don't normally suffer from depression.... right now, I think that is where I am heading. I can't be the only one?
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Brushwork
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Oh Brushwork I am so sorry to hear this, it really is trying times and I'm glad you have been able to write this post. I think we are all feeling bewildered, confused, unsettled and wondering how long will this go on for. I too have my 'wobbles' and I'm sure others will no doubt feel the same too. I think at this moment in time it is not a good thing to look too far ahead, perhaps just focus on today and what you have to do today that will help you get by. Be that practical things such as chores and day to day stuff, or a hobby, reading or listening to music, or by simply being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to acknowledge these feelings but then distract and try to let them go by talking with someone. Keep a routine and keep communicating. Somehow as uncertain as it feels we will get through this, we have to hold onto hope. Take one day at a time and sending some warm wishes to you right now. Take care.
If people say they haven't been depressed i would be very surprised. We are in unchartered waters now. The fear of the virus and the fear of how long this is going to take and the fear you will end up in hospital. So put your big girl pants on darling and as my parents used to say chin up girl. Love and hugs.xxxx
Do you know Sylvi, I don’t often come on here now, but when I do, you always make me laugh and lift my spirits. Despite having had some terrible times yourself, you are a joy.
No you are definitely not the only one Brushwork, though I know that's no consolation when you are low. As Pippy says, allowing yourself to acknowledge and accept how you are feeling (and knowing that your feelings are entirely understandable and natural) is key. I also agree about not looking too far ahead, because as you so rightly say we all know this isn't over after 12 weeks but all we can have is hope - just as all this was completely out of the blue, we don't know what's going to happen. I'm sorry, I don't feel I've been much help but I do want you to know I empathise and that we are all in this together and hope you can draw strength from that thought and the support of everyone on the forum. Sending you all good wishes xx
It is a bit daunting, so I think many of us are having some roller coaster emotions. You are right to say it won’t end for us after 12 weeks, but things will change.
The big risk right now if that if hospitals get overwhelmed then people won’t be able to get treated effectively, so the mortality rate will rocket, and that’s the main reason for imposing this shielding. But there are already glimmers of hope that most hospitals are managing. They doctors are also working out the best way to treat this (including of course the Hydroxychloroquine debate!) so that is also improving.
So whilst the virus will still remain after 12 weeks, our risks of it being fatal will have dropped a fair bit even if we did catch it. And it seems that only 15% of people get it severely anyway. So we will be in a different place. Still needing to be careful of course, but in a much less frightening way.
What I am doing is trying to concentrate on keeping as healthy as possible. I can’t control the virus, but I can control eating properly and exercising to keep heart and lungs healthy.
If you are normally an optimistic person, then allow yourself a wobble, and hopefully you’ll find your optimism again.
Totally agree when you say we are not in control of this virus, but what we can take control of is as you say trying to keep well and how we adjust and spend our days. We wont ever get them back so use them as best as we can.
I’ve done a fair bit of voluntary work with support organisations, so I guess I recognise this, and that it needs to be accepted. So of course, I’ll be careful to keep an eye on myself, be kind to myself etc.... I needed to reach out to others in the same boat. I live alone with my dogs, am used to my own company too.
I do understand the reason for ‘shielding’ and completely support it and will of course, comply. I believe these measures are totally necessary.
It’s a dark place when the question ‘would the 8 Benepali injections, taken in rapid succession be enough to finish me off quickly?’, enters your head. It did, but it has passed... I have the dogs to consider!! 😂🐾 Its not funny really, but you have to laugh at yourself, it’s worrying.
I’m being honest and open. If I can do it, I hope others can too. This thing we are going through is not easy. If I’m struggling, others will be.
I don’t think it’s a slide into depression . It’s a natural reaction to a unnatural situation we’ve all suddenly found ourselves in . One minute, one hour, one day at a time is the only way we’re going to get through this . I don’t believe a wobble is a bad thing . Better than holding it all in . Wobble away
This will all be history soon (ish) and we’ll come out stronger . Good wishes to you x
We all going to have our ups and downs it is a worrying time for everyone, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel , a lot of people have passed away with this awful virus but the media never mention all the people who have got through it they only give bad news so just keep yourself safe as you can and try to do the things at home that you normally would do , we have some good sunny days in the forecast so at least we can potter about outside and get some fresh air , and everyone on this forum will look out for each other , love to all🥰 Jayne....
Hi Brushwork, I live alone too with my dog normally but have my mum staying just now.
I live alone ( usually) but during these times of isolation and lockdown we live more with our thoughts. That's where depression can easily creep up on us. Mind talk can be dangerous sometimes.
I have been watching way too much news the past few weeks. The number of people reported to have lost their lives affects me. Some MP's and journalists talk statistically but these are real people with real grieving families. It's just awful and yes, depressing. The uncertainty of our future is worrying. I'm indoors most of the time too and it's tough. Our lives are being forced to change but it's for good reason, to save lives. Express your feelings, cry it out or whatever releases the emotions, it's normal.
Have faith and trust we will get through this. Look after yourself well. xx
Thanks for saying this . I've had a couple of wobbles too the last few days as I'm a very outdoors type of person. So I wish what I had done was what you have done here.
I told my hubby and got the 60year old north east man typical answer of " pull yourself together , " which of course had the opposite effect !!
So I'm using your replies as my replies too !! But today I feel better from my wobble and I'm just putting my Hope's into the worlds scientists .
They did say in one of the conferences along the way that the vulnerable shielding group would be one of the first for vaccines .... think that good lol xxx sending love xx
We need to speak up and be honest with ourselves and others, it brings some comfort to know you’re not alone in this.
I agree it’s not helpful to be told ‘pull yourself together and get on with it’ in any form of words! Empathy, a little care and consideration is far more helpful. Sometimes just acknowledgment of your feelings- a listening ear, is all that’s required.
Be kind to yourself and each other. Life is tough in varying degrees and if not that, it’s certainly different xx
Yes it's just his way of coping ..dont talk about it and it will go away, I'm the touchy feely type who cant touch ( or feel lol) at the moment , that's actually why wecgetvon ...most of the time !!!
I think when you see something in black and white such as these letters or in my case my GP telling me point blank to shield that the reality of things hits home as it is official so to speak and although you knew it in your own mind that this virus is serious stuff and that given our health it sort of makes you naturally wobble as it's are way of coming to terms with things just like with our RD, it takes time to think things through and process.
It does and for some reason today I'm ok with it !! I'm in , I'm safe, at last I'm getting deliveries , I'll be ok going into hospital as they will be trying to not give me anything and me not giving them anything ... we can just do our best and get through this together. I have actually got great faith in our scientists! Xxx
There have been times in my life when given a diagnosis or test result, that set me back on my heels. It was almost overwhelming to hear the words and then imagine what life could hold.
If you can live in the present, seek joy in everything, be proactive in living your best life, each day can truly be seen as a gift. However, we certainly are entitled to our feelings of grief, fear, and whatever else we have along the way. It's vital to find the way for you to cope, though.
Understanding I am an introvert and get my strength back from quietude and being alone has helped me create restorative time each day. Others need to interact with people to feel better and must create relationships to feel better. May I suggest you really think about what makes you feel better and then cultivate it strongly? This thread is surely a step in the right direction, Brushwork.
I’ve been through a lot in my life, more than most people would want to hear. Through it all, I have come back stronger. I’ve learned what I need and how to cope with just about anything. I do cope. I count my blessings and take joy in the moments. I too live, very much in the present.
I reached out because I know that others will be suffering, sometimes reading about another’s experience and feeling can comfort, console and offer perspective.
I know I will be ok. I know most of us will be ok, but some will struggle more. I just hope that my opening up and all the good stuff it brought forth, will help even if just one person.
What a lovely response brushwork. I appreciate your honesty and have felt the wobble like yourself.
I think living in the moment and finding joy in small things, communicating, eating well, and exercising in the fresh air if possible, and keeping busy and sleeping as well as possible all help. We will get through this together; thank you for posting, enjoy your day and the company of your lovely dogs.
I very much sense you are a survivor, Brushwork. Your vulnerable post illustrates this and most assuredly shall help others express their own feelings.
You reaction sounds perfectly logical and normal to me, Brushwork. Others have expressed feelings so much more expressively than I can. I'm sorry you're having wobbles but, believe me, you're not alone in these feelings. I think that just going with the flow and bending to the storms life gives us will not make me break.
I think you too have expressed things well Gnarli and I like when you say about not bending to the storms that life gives us....a lovely expression to describe strength in difficult times.
I'm sure everyone felt that at some time during the past few weeks. I count my blessings we have a house and a garden so can sit out and enjoy the days. I believe that it's vital to get exercise as it can help relieve black thoughts creeping in and to stop them being the focus all the time. So whilst shielding perhaps a walk might help.
I know its weird but had a nightmare last night and I dreamt I was being suffocated and called for my dad. Perhaps thats worry coming out in a different way really .
Just went for a walk this morning and had a talk with my higher power and I feel better. Not giving any advice just saying what works for me. I am riding the same roller coaster. Hope to see you at the top soon.
Good morning Brushwork. It looks like it’s going to be a lovely day today. I’ve been in a bad place the last few weeks, having anxiety and panic attacks. I found a helpful audio file on the NHS website which has made a big difference. It’s a 5 minute relaxation lesson from Dr Chris Williams. It teaches you to relax. It does take a few days to start to feel the benefits but well worth persevering. I’m not completely out of the woods but whenever I feel down I listen to this short exercise and feel much better. I guess it won’t work for everyone but worth a try. All the very best to you. You’ll find the file if you type anxiety into the search box.
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Shielding letter at last!
Have the guidelines for RA shielding letters been changed?
In tears
