FFS my boyfriend is a ******* ****

I know it's going to seem like an excuse and it's totally not,but when I give up smoking I turn into a total headcase for a week and it's best people just stay out of my way. Anyway day 1 today I woke up really positive and I was confident I would be fine, but my **** of a boyfriend has done nothing but moan and act like an hysterical women since he got up, moaning (not at me) cause the shed has leaked, moaning because of this that and another, he's made me want to cave his face in, it's done my head in so much I have smoked and I am now sitting here with tears running down my face because I feel like i've let myself down. Why can't the stupid **** just **** off out of my face when I was trying to give up, instead of winding me up all because he's woke up in a **** of a mood.

I am really pee'd off, I was going to do it today but now I just feel like a failure. It's ok for him cause he will now cheer up and he's fecked it all up me, just because he's a ****

18 Replies

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  • I have counted down to today being the day and it's all ruined.

  • Im so sorry that has happened, but you need to get your head round it some how. I caved quite a few times but in the end I dealt with a lot of very upsetting family problems early in this quit and managed. I think onces you get through one the rest become easy. I remember thinkin wow I managed all that and didnt use a fag to lean on. You can do it girl just try and get your head in the right place ;)

    Sorry if thats not very helpful. Not very good at putting what I mean on here :o

  • Thank you Mel that is helpful and you're right.

    He has just come in and said sorry and gave me a hug he said you've only had one and you didn't even smoke all of that, but I said you don't understand I have gone all night without nicotine and having one now meaning I have set myself back as I am going to crave nicotine as it leaves my body. I have felt like I have set myself up for a fall and I am such a strong willed person that caving in makes me feel like such a failure. He has said when he givs it up he's going to the doctors for help and not going through this. I haven't stopped crying for the lasr hour and I never cry over anything lol, I look a right state.

  • I cried loads the first week or so and couldnt tell you why :confused: but it passed and I now smile and am so much happier than I ever was when I smoked. I am a calmer person and seem to cope with things a lot easier. Ride out the first few weeks and gain some strength each day from what you have achieved ;)

  • What if I can't get past day 1, I am really scared that I can't do it, I am devastated I let myself down.

  • What if I can't get past day 1, I am really scared that I can't do it, I am devastated I let myself down.

    You can, you have done it before :) Have a little faith in yourself, you need to think positive, (not what if I cant) but (I can get through today!!) :cool:

    Ive got faith in you :) I KNOW you can do it

  • Ok I have stopped crying now, I am still up fed up though.

  • You can, you have done it before :) Have a little faith in yourself, you need to think positive, (not what if I cant) but (I can get through today!!) :cool:

    Ive got faith in you :) I KNOW you can do it

    Thank you, ok going to try harder. XXXXX

  • oh b******. I can imagine that being really annoying and I can totally see myself doing exactly the same. The first few days of my quit felt like I had tourettes .... all that went through my head when anybody asked me anything at all was "oh just **** off".

    But you've got strenght in you. I know it probably doesn't feel like it but you have, it comes over in your posts. You CAN do this, you CAN quit, it's difficult, but it's NOT impossible.

    Have your sleep, go for that run, throw the fags out, punch a pillow (I also recommend screaming into one) and you can quit today, it's NOT too late.

  • Thank you so much, you know I don't even swear normally I can totally understand the tourettes thing hahah, smoking just brings out the worse.

  • Hi Hadenough :)

    I am so sorry that today didn't go as planned for you and you feel you've let yourself down but unfortunately it happens

    The only thing I can suggest is to read on here and through some of the links

    But I'm wondering and I may be wrong here but is it possible your B F did this deliberately just to try and stop you quitting especially as h'es now cheering up

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxx

  • Hi Hadenough..... sounds like you've had a rough day so far. Sometimes even our best intentions are not enough. Don't worry about today, calm yourself, and realize that you can only learn from it. Exact thing happened to me on my last quit and like you I cried and pitied myself.....

    Then I started to prepare..... not just with good intention.... I made a plan :) Plan included to go to doc and get some pills for first week to stay calm, to go on this forum, to start exercise, got tons of books (easy to read ones), I also ordered some hypnosis cd's...... I was so pissed that I was determined to do it right the next time..... and so can you!!

    All you need is determination, time, and the ability to change the way you think about smoking. Prepare yourself, any which way you need to.... look into what it really was that tripped you up and have a plan for next time! If I had not failed many previous attempts, this current one would not be still going! Good luck!!

  • Hi Hadenough :)

    I am so sorry that today didn't go as planned for you and you feel you've let yourself down but unfortunately it happens

    The only thing I can suggest is to read on here and through some of the links

    But I'm wondering and I may be wrong here but is it possible your B F did this deliberately just to try and stop you quitting especially as h'es now cheering up

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxx

    I am still ok now, but no absolutely not he doesn't want me to smoke as I don't buy my own, I think having a rant about the shed leaking isn't him trying to get me to smoke, especially as that is where our two rabbits live, so shed needed sorting asap. I wasn't impressed about the shed leaking either just didn't need to hear the moaning.

  • Hi Hadenough..... sounds like you've had a rough day so far. Sometimes even our best intentions are not enough. Don't worry about today, calm yourself, and realize that you can only learn from it. Exact thing happened to me on my last quit and like you I cried and pitied myself.....

    Then I started to prepare..... not just with good intention.... I made a plan :) Plan included to go to doc and get some pills for first week to stay calm, to go on this forum, to start exercise, got tons of books (easy to read ones), I also ordered some hypnosis cd's...... I was so pissed that I was determined to do it right the next time..... and so can you!!

    All you need is determination, time, and the ability to change the way you think about smoking. Prepare yourself, any which way you need to.... look into what it really was that tripped you up and have a plan for next time! If I had not failed many previous attempts, this current one would not be still going! Good luck!!

    Thank you, I do feel better, I think I coming down with cold now, throat is killing, not touched a fag since.

  • You can do this!

    You can do this......you will do this....you just have to keep quitting! Don't beat yourself up....don't look at that one smoke as a total failure, look at all the ones you didn't smoke as a path to success! It's the addiction that gets your brain thinking..."there is no way I can do this"......remember it's the addiction trying to keep it's nitch in your life!

    Before I quit this time I spent a lot of time telling myself how gross smoking made me feel...how tired it actually made me and what a waste of time it was. With each smoke I would think how much I actuallly hated it and what it was doing to my life. I would never let a person have this type of control over me so why should an object control me! Try visualization when you go to sleep at night......try visualizing yourself as the non-smoker you want to become! And maybe you should try NRT at first to get you through the rough patches?

    You can do this!!!

    Hanna

  • Hi Hadenough, what a carp day you've had :(. Do you still have cigs in the house? if so get rid of them now. I'm rooting for you, good luck hun :) xx.

  • hi adenough,

    i lost a number of quits,because i let my alcoholic husband get to me.

    its took me a long time to learn,that to quit ,it has to be for you,not to let others get in the way.

    you have to make it your number one priority

    dont get sucked in .

    smoking didnt change a dam thing here.

    all i can do is look after me.

    love doey x

  • Thanks guys, you're all amazing :), the rest of the day has gone ok. I keep wanting to burst into tears, over nothing, I nearly even started crying over MJ, I wouldn't mind but I wasn't even a fan so I don't know where that come from.It's an emotional roller-coaster giving up the fags. We do have ciggies in the house but that is because my partner smokes. He doesn't smoke around me though, so it's not too in my face.

    I went for a two mile run earlier, I haven't lost my time, but I have lost some of my fitness, my lungs wanted to explode.

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