Ok, gonna moan again!! Dont think I have for a while, well at least a day, but cant really remember, my brain has gone very mushy, but least I havent forgotton the kids yet!:rolleyes:
Well I feel like pooh, (I know loads of you do too, so sorry to moan and be selfish).
I am sooooo tired of saying no to myself.
Tired of being Moody, sad, tearful, snappy (especially with the girls!)
Tired of worrying about my weight, just worked so hard to shed 5 stone and so dont want to start putting it all back on.
Tired of being tired, I just want some let up, I just want a ciggy!!!!!!!
Today, for the first time since I quit, I will be all on my lonesome, girls are with the mother in law, while I do battle with another spe******t at the hospital, and I keep thinking I could just have one and no one will know, but I will and I would be gutted but I cant stop thinking about it!!!!!!!:mad:
I keep trying to think about the reasons I am doing it, for my girls, for me, because I have lost loved ones because they smoked, but I keep coming back to my father in law, he finally gave up after millions of attempts (he never wanted to give up but mother in law did!), 3 months later he was killed in a car crash?! she is back smoking!! I know I have gone off track a little but it's just funny what your brain will try and convince you off. It's kinda saying to me well you never know whats round the corner so go on be happy now!!!!:confused:
I know it should get better but right now I am so tired and down, I cant see the end!
Thanks for your time, AGAIN!!!! lol, feels good to just get it off your chest!!
I hope you all have a brill day and stay strong xxxx