Why do all my friends smoke?

OK, I noticed this at the weekend....ALL MY FRIENDS SMOKE! Not just social smokers, actual more than 10 a day smokers.

We were out again with another couple on Saturday night who both smoked. Last weekend I was out with a group of 7 people who all smoked (bar me of course!) and I can think of another half dozen people I count as frinds who all smoke. Is this because we are social outcasts as smokers and all group together as a result of our persecution? Or because we're similar types of people?

Just an obervation really. I did find it a bit rude when my mate would get up half way through conversation and go for a fag, but then I used to do that too. I also used to smell like he did when he got back. I could smell smoke on the waitress too (hopefully unconnected to my mate having a smoke as his wife is an expert kickboxer). But what can you say? I smoked for 20 years.....but I didn't have one this Saturday night.

It felt very strange....out of body experience strange....seeing what I used to look like.

How do you reconcile stopping smoking with friends who smoke?

10 Replies

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  • Hello sausage roll friend.

    Ok, I have the same issue.

    My boyfriend smokes. Why? Because I met him outside a club in the smoking area and we struck up a great convo while... smoking.

    Most of my friends smoke. Why? Because I've met them outside work/clubs/pubs/ and we struck up a great convo while... smoking.

    Not ALL of my friends smoke, but most of them do due to the fact that smokers meet smokers and hang out with smokers.

    Unless you want to be a facist ex smoker then forget the fact that they smoke and let them get on with it. I still go out for a fag at work (but don't smoke), I still go out for a fag at bars and clubs (but don't smoke) because I've met some seriously bloody interesting and entertaining people and had a right laugh out in the smoking area.

  • each to their own and to their own addictions as is the case here.

    Polsters right about how you tend to make friends, and then there is also folk who 'try' a cigarette from a smoking friend and then become hooked themself too. So what may have been a minority that smoked among your friends can soon become most of them.

    I have smoking friends and relatives, but i make sure they all know that i do not expect them to change to suit me because i've quit, I do not expect them to not smoke when i'm there. If they want to quit they will do so in their own time, just as i did.

  • It is true that once you stop smoking, you suddenly notice how many people smoke around you, and to think we used to smell like that :eek:

    Fantastic job around all your smoking mates though, I wonder if any of them will follow your lead? Time will tell, you certainly can't say anything to them, imagine how we would have felt.

    I guess in time you'll just get used to it, remember it won't be too long till we'll be sitting outside soaking up our lovely British weather :rolleyes: You will have noticed it more cos people were getting up and leaving the table.

    Lorraine :)

  • Hi Munter_ST

    You are doing well.

    I think I have got a solution for being left alone its called a smoking monkey

    toy you go out side and light the monkey up with friends.

    cgi.ebay.co.uk/RARE-SMOKING...

    Only joking but these toys were everywhere when I was young.

    Good to see early Jan quitters still here.

    Gary

  • Strangely,

    When i smoked, i noticed a lot of people that didn't, and was always feeling like my smoke was irritating someone, no matter where i blew it.....

    Now that i've stopped, i seem to know more people that smoke.... i'm fairly convinced that its all my perception thats gone wonky, but it is flippin weird!!!!

    Hopefully all of these smelly folk will follow our good example!

    Fingers Crossed!!!

    Hugs

    Zozie xx

  • "all my friends smoke"

    i think it all depends on your age range, your social habits and your professional background. i just turned 40, work in a pimary school and have more and more hobbies involving my kids and their friends. needless to stay that amongst young teenagers (my kids are 14 and 9) it is very uncool so we used to "hide" to have a fag, at work coming in with an ashtray breath is as social as farting in the lift (again had to brush teeth after smoke), as for my age range , less and less people smoke (you find yourself one of the last ones).

    but hey that probably makes me an old boring b****d in your eyes.

    nevertheles, if you think seriously about it, smokers huddle together in the illusion to be a bit different than the rest of society.

    true that i have had the most interresting conversation with smokers, but i also had some really boring chit chat outside the pub/workplace/back garden trying to convince my self and other smokers that i was having a wonderful time puffing away

  • So I'm not alone then? :)

    Good to hear. A lot of the boys and girls I'm friends with now are either from University days or from when I first moved to London. When I was just going out all the time and smoking a lot. It just makes it difficult to be arround people who smoke and have a decent drink..that's my trigger. Nearly went out for one late Saturday night, but decided it was time for bed instead.

    I guess I'm the boring old b@stard now! Maybe I should just hang arround Greggs and meet some people who share my remaining addiction!

  • Hi Munster :D

    All my friends were smokers as well funny I still have the same friends but only one is still smoking

  • I think it is because you meet other smokers when you go outside for a cigarette. I met a lot of my friends that way in college, but most of them have quit already. Here's an interesting article on people quitting in packs and the influence on the social network.

    nytimes.com/2008/05/22/scie...

  • OK, I noticed this at the weekend....ALL MY FRIENDS SMOKE! Not just social smokers, actual more than 10 a day smokers.

    We were out again with another couple on Saturday night who both smoked. Last weekend I was out with a group of 7 people who all smoked (bar me of course!) and I can think of another half dozen people I count as frinds who all smoke. Is this because we are social outcasts as smokers and all group together as a result of our persecution? Or because we're similar types of people?

    Just an obervation really. I did find it a bit rude when my mate would get up half way through conversation and go for a fag, but then I used to do that too. I also used to smell like he did when he got back. I could smell smoke on the waitress too (hopefully unconnected to my mate having a smoke as his wife is an expert kickboxer). But what can you say? I smoked for 20 years.....but I didn't have one this Saturday night.

    It felt very strange....out of body experience strange....seeing what I used to look like.

    How do you reconcile stopping smoking with friends who smoke?

    Its not good for you, cause anytime they could convince you to start smoking,, you have to work that much harder to not smoke,, my advice, divide and conquer, try to isolate one of them, and get them to quit one by one.. start challenging them, that way you still have friends and friends who dont smoke which is better..

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