My reasons - it helps to share!

My name is Paul, I am 34. I started experimenting with smoking when I was only 14, the kids I hung around with all smoked, my dad smoked and other members of my family smoked. As an impressionable kid it was easy to take the habit up, why at the time it was cool to smoke, wasn't it :confused:

Time passed and my habit grew, but at the tender age of 16 my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to undergo chemo therapy and radio therapy. The therapy worked and my dad was cured. Make no mistake, this wasn't without BIG changes, as a consequence he had to sell the business that he built up from scratch that was successful for over 20 years. This is aswell as being really really unwell during the therapy and the implications this brings. At 16 this was hard for me to see and go through if not harder for my Mum and younger Sister.

Strangely this didn't deter me from smoking - it just didn't seem to sink in.

3 years on, my dads cancer returned only this time it was too far gone and the chemo and radio therapy reduced him to nothing and I mean nothing. He must have weighed 5 stone wet through near the end of his life. It's just so hard my good healthy dad reduced to a bed downstairs and could hardly recognise his family!

My Dad was your normal everyday kinda guy, his family came first in every way. He was fighting fit - a black belt in karate, always working hard - a good strong man. Unfortunately smoking and cancer doesn't take this into account.

It was a very bad time and I'm sure people reading this may have experienced similar circumstances - It's hard, really hard!

So why did I continue to smoke??? God knows - I always felt so guilty when talking about how my dad died knowing that I still smoked.

So here I am now at 34, Married, 2 children and mortgaged up to the eye balls! I certainly don't want history repeating itself. I quit smoking 3 days ago and am so bloody determined to stay a non smoker. Even after 3 days I feel fresher and cleaner. I know It's early days and rather than dwell on why I didn't quit years ago, here I am - A NON SMOKER - OK, it really is early days, but something has finally twigged in my brain that says this is the time! It's gonna be hard but deep down I know this is it, now is the time!

Each and every person has their own motives and reasons and even though this is just someone else’s story to all who read, it has helped me get a few things into perspective just writing this down. Thanks for reading and hope that no matter how little, that my story helps you stop smoking.

Smoking pulls no punches and cancer doesn't discriminate!

12 Replies

  • Hi Paul

    That is a very sad story, you have proved you can do it now. You have a family now that will look up to you the same as you did your dad, and you know only to well how it felt to lose your dad.

    I think you are right about someting clicking in your head that tells you its time, i had thought about it many times in the past, i knew this time would be the right time for me and so far has proved to be right.

    Good luck with the quit hun, you have proved it can be done. Post and read is the key i believe.



  • Well done. Keep dipping into this forum - it really does help. I'm just starting week 2 and feel good.

  • Hello Paul

    Congratulations on making the best decision of your life.

    The key to making the process easier is to read and understand the real reasons people smoke. The links and book in my sig are all you will need.....

    As well as this great forum. People here understand what you are/will be going through.Please use it :)

    All the best

  • hi paul..well have made a wise decisen to stop,,i lost my mom to canser,so i now how you feel,,its very good that you posted you feeling on here to us,,it helps to get it off your chest,,most of us on here have gone throught the same as you paul,so we can relate to your all you can paul as it will help you so much in your quit ,any time you want to rant and rave just post here,,there will be some one here to help,,as i say you just keep the faith tony

  • Hi Paul, I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. You've clearly been through a tough time, but you've realised now it's the time to wake up and smell the tobacco, so to speak. It's situations like this that put it into perspective, as you said. And when it happens to family, that perspective is so much sharper.

    Again, these guys have got the sterling advice, we're all here to help each other out, and without fail there is always someone there to remind you you're not on your own! The best you can do is read read read, post post post.

    All the best!

  • Hi Paul

    Touching post , very well written .

    Im sure your story will help others ,however if you ever feel the urge to light up again, promise yourself you will read your own post first before doing so .

    Goodluck in your quit .

    Yes your early on in your quit but the important part is you have choose to quit and you ARE doing it. Well done !!

  • Hi Paul

    Welcome to this forum. And thank you for writing your story - it is a sad one but it doesn't have to have a sad ending.

    You are the one who chooses the ending - do you live a long healthy life watching your children grow up and loving their children? If so, your dad's sad death has not been in vain, he would be SO proud of you.

    Please don't choose the other option - that is that you carry on smoking and put your family through the pain you have experienced.

    The decision not to smoke isn't tough, sometimes the empty feeling when you are missing a ciggie can be a bit tough but it isn't half as tough as seeing one of your loved ones die of cancer.

    When going gets tough - the tough get going!

    Keep posting on here - keep us informed and WELL DONE for making the best decision for you and your family.

  • Thank you all for taking the time to read my story and a bigger thank you for your kind comments. Its now day 4 and still smoke free.

    You are all absolutely right when you say it's good to come here for support - it really does help!


  • Hi Paul,

    I lost my mother and father to lung cancer ( my father only 11 months ago )

    I watched both of them die a slow and terrible death. I am 37 with two 10 year old twins and the reason I'm quitting is to save them the distress and pain I've experienced.

    There are plenty of members with similar stories so you aren't alone. Cancer is a modern day plague and everyone should do what they can to avoid it's grasp.

    I'm now on week 2 and doing ok, if you need any help or hit a hard time think of your dad or post for me for a chat.

    Good Luck mate,


  • Good start

    Hi Paul

    You are inspirational..The most important thing that you do is you atart to stop smoking that is important.

    You said it that you feel fresher already and I know that you wake up with more energy as I have been feeling that too...

    So buddy keep it up day by day and just think nothing of ciggarettes ..look it as the enemy..

    Best wishes


  • Quit

    Hey Paul, You've made a good decision.

    I've lost my grandpa. He died because of the throat cancer. It's terrible. People start think about threads only after they feel them on their own.

    The thing I want to recommend You - forget about what You want about smoking. Think about Your KIDS and wife. Don't do it in the name of them. That's the motivation.

  • Hi guys,

    I wrote the post on day 3, and have refered back to it several times for motivational reminders during weak times. I am now approaching the end of week 2 and feeling bloody good for it. Just wanted to say thanks for the recent replies, I do appreciate your kind comments and support!

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