My reasons - c266

I am not proud of things I have done:

I smoked from a young age (about 9 and from 14 regularly) with parents who smoked. The whole family smoked including my 2 older brothers and I thought it was "cool".

I am very ashamed to admit that I have only once tried to quit before this year and that was just after my 3rd child was born. Even being pregnant never stopped me from smoking and I feel so so ashamed for being one of those mothers stood outside the labour ward in pain having a fag. I also smoked in the house (kitchen) and car yet managed to go outside when they had friends around. :o

So my reasons:

My children - yes I have probably harmed them already and I can never ever excuse that. I am a selfish, awful mother. I am lucky in that they are all in good health.

I want to see them grow up and get married and have children. I also don't want them to have a smoking mum as I know my mum smoking is what led to me trying it to begin with.

I want to be healthier, I struggle with walking up hills, my breathing is getting worse year by year and I'm only 31.

My family - my husband, mum and sister in law all have awful smokers coughs and I am scared of ending up like them

My mums side of the family have all died from cancer and I am scared without adding the risks of smoking, likewise my dads family all have heart problems.

I will stop there because I could list thousands of reasons to stop and only one reason to carry on - I enjoyed it, maybe not entirely true as I can see now that it is the addiction that makes us believe this but I would say I enjoyed some. Is that a good enough reason to destroy myself and the health of my family? No, never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13 Replies

  • Wow. That is some set of reasons.

    You're so right. When you look at all that, what possible reason could you have to start again?

    It's always so great to read stuff like that. Helps me reinforce my own quit.

    Stay strong. You are doing so great.

    H x

  • Hi chrissie

    You are NOT a selfish awful Mother. I have just seen a picture of you with 3 lovely looking, happy and healthy children whose Mother clearly adores them. So tosh to that my girl!

    You have - because you are a good mother - given up something that you admit to having enjoyed, for them. It's not easy giving up smoking, in fact it's damn hard, but you are doing it, and doing it well.

    So whilst we all have things in our lives we aren't proud of, be proud of what you're doing now, for you and your children.


  • i have the same regrets with my children

    smoked all through pregnancy awful s**t person i am cause they were all good birth weights it justified it was ok next time round

    i massively regret the time i wasted smoking wen i should have spent it with my kids,i spend every waking moment with them now to try and make up for the guilt i feel

    the best i can do is make up for lost time

    we are doing right by them by quitting children are so adaptable and forgiving

  • Hi Chrissie,

    You say: "I enjoyed it, maybe not entirely true ", but when you actually think about it, how many did you actually enjoy?

    I always used to think that l really enjoyed smoking, but in reality, l used to like picking up the cigarette packet (especially if it was a new one), taking out a cigarette, putting it in my mouth, clicking my lighter to light it, and taking the first drag. After that, l didn't really like the taste very much. I think, on reflection, that l liked the actions more than the actual smoking.

    Now, when l see people standing outside in all weathers, having a cigarette, l just feel a great sense of relief that l do not have to join them.

    Josie XXX

  • Thank you for the lovely replies.

    I enjoyed the ones when I had just got in and just a 5min sit down before doing anything else. And ones with drink. I am adapting though! Now I have cake/choc instead.:D

  • Hiya,

    Can I just say I really really like these reasons. It's a bit selfish of me I suppose but I wish my mum felt this way. She smoked all the way through both her pregnancies and never even thought or attempted to quit until last year... she was quit 2 months and started again and has become a re-born confirmed smoker...

    I'm not saying this to make you feel bad btw, you shouldn't feel like an awful mother, because you're definately not! There are plenty of people who smoke through pregnancies and around their children. However, I would be proud for my mum to take the steps necessary for changing her life for the better. You've taken these steps Chrissie and your children will be proud, there's no point in having regrets or assigning guilt... just be happy that you've taken control of your life and now you know what you value and cherish.

  • Thank you Sofia, I know exactly what you mean. Guilt is an awful thing but I am determined not to let it affect me.

    My mum always smoked around us and never quit until the day after I did. Seems silly really that she never ever tried but is trying now because I am.

  • i only enjoyed the first one the next fiive million were vile.its a crap drug and highly addictive the object of the game is to to keep us doing it so gov can cream tax from us and tobacco companies can keep us addicted ask any crak dealer and he/she will agree.once they've killed us off they start on the folks in the third world and our own kids .remember every time you see a person on tv smoking[deirdrie barlow and beckky on corrie some of the drs in casualty]smoking is being slyly advertrised .every nicely packaged pack of cigs is being promoted look how good they look on the shop shelf ,clean sophisticated and harmless.Over the years iv spent £37,000, on tobacco multiply that by 18 million smokersand you get six hundred and seventy four million pounds from each generation of smokers enough to pay for a couple of wars. Any other drug dealer would be dragged through the courts shamed and stripped of their assets. dont be ashamed of smoking and finding it hard to stop. these drugs made us brain dead and we were encouraged to smoke, I for one have had a belly full of it, i refuse to be a victim of vile drug dealers.

    good luck,power to the people


  • Hi Chrissie,

    please dont think you are a bad mother for smoking during your pregnancies.

    I smoked through my 2nd pregnancy and feel AWFUL about it as my son was born with severe lung problems and was admitted to the NICU for a few weeks.

    It was the WORST time of my life...but i didnt stop smoking (i know, STUPID ME!!).

    It was only in August that he was in hospital (again!!!) because of his asthma, that i thought, this is IT, ENOUGH!! and quit.

    I am so ashamed of what addiction has done to me in the past..but now i am free of it, as is my son (and my older son too).

    Now, everytime he has an asthma attack, i dont blame myself quite as much.x.

  • Thank you Claire and well done for quitting.

    That really is my worst nightmare but like you I probably would have carried on anyway and convinced myself I was stressed and needed to smoke.

    You should be very proud of yourself :)

  • YAY for you C266! All great reasons :) Enjoy it.

  • Hi Chrissie, great reasons for stopping smoking and as you say there are more.

    Don't feel guilty about smoking at the age of 9 I started when I was 11 and smoked 52 years. I was married before and yes I'm guilty for smoking in the house during my first marriage in front of my first children. But let's face it 22 years ago when you started smoking there was not the education regarding smoking there is now. More so when I started smoking but I have never during my second marraige nearly 22 years smoked in the house and I would avoid smoking around the kids which I don't think I ever did.

    I too have taken a look at these very happy healthy looking children of yours. I stopped smoking for my children mainly because I want to be lucky enough to see grandchildren, I was 65 last Friday.

    But first I stopped for myself, my health and happiness and you should do it for yourself, as they say in the add because you're worth it:D.

    Very well done on what you have achieved so far, keep going determination and your reasons will get you there.

  • Thank you Jack and a belated happy birthday to you :D

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