Help again i beg i cannot cope

[NotRealJustThoughts]

hello

the intrusive thoughts are back and they are now following a pocd theme i feel so disgusting and undeserving. my brain is telling me i was doing something vile whilst i was ON MY PHONE i remeber whay i was googling for gods sake. i dont know what to do anymore this thought and one other main one has been tormenting me for three years snd i cant get ANY help at all till 2025. I am not diagnksed but am pretty sure i have it but whag if i dont and am just a vile monster my brain doubts all logic and im so tired of it any advice would be appreciated

[ThatOCDpersonne]

It's very simple,Pedophiles have already done something to children, Pedophiles do not worry about hurting children, people with Pocd have intrusive thoughts about children but they haven't actually done anything

[ThatOCDpersonne in reply to ThatOCDpersonne]

Meaning if you have the thoughts and are worried about being a pedophile but haven't actually done anything, it's ocd . You are NOT a pedophile.

[NotRealJustThoughts in reply to ThatOCDpersonne]

My problem is my brain will take an event say me sitting at a park and on a random day go “oh yeah u were staring at them you pedo” and then i ruminate to the point idk whats real and fake but logically, i know i didnt but its just like what if i did do that thing bur additionally i am repulsed by the idea of it and couldnt live w myself if i had so idk what to do?

[NotRealJustThoughts in reply to NotRealJustThoughts]

Context as me just sitting in the park seems weird: i was 14 and with my friends on a day out

[NotRealJustThoughts in reply to NotRealJustThoughts]

and i just dont know i feel so alone and like a vile monster