this post is gonna be waffling as i dont know what to do. context undiagnosed ocd. when i was 13 i ran a roblox tiktok account and added three girls back. one was 8 and i specifically remeber sending a snap telling her my age and that i wouldnt hurt her. we just talked etc and played roblox and i thought nothing of it. about a month later my brain told me i groomed her. i had some idea of what grooming was bur i had to google to fully understand. but like the thought put the idea of grooming in my head it didnt even cross my mind beforehand. about a month after the thought i joined her roblox game and asked “did i every say anything inappropriate” and she said no. i gave her some pet thing in the game and unfriended her and havent spoke since. ive had this same thought telling me i groomed her since 2020 and every fucking year it comes back im so stuck i dont know ehag to do. recently my lovely brain decided thag bc her parents made her delete snapchat (as anyone with a brain would do????) that means im guilty of what my brain tells me i did and im disgusting. i tried to counteract this thought with what worked last time “how could you have groomed her if the thought of doing that didnt cross ur mind until this thought” but just wont go away. im so sick of this and the worst thing is everyone online that suffers with this is scared of doing something in the future but im scared that i already did soenthing and so the phrase “thights dont equal actions” or “thoughts are just thoughts” dont work. i cant do anything nice because i feel like a monster. i try to go through kooth but their always too full and live chats are the only thing that helps me. additionally bc i am undiagnosed what if its not ocd and i am what my brain tells me i am?
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HELLO. If I were a parent I dont think I’d want my 8 year old on snapchat so her parents making her delete it are CERTAINLY for reasons completely unrelated to you. I can tell you with 100% certainty that you did not do it and you are not a groomer. If it helps in my philosphy lesson innit we learned that some people believe faith triumphs reason when it comes to believing in God. That logic could work here - your brain is ignoring logic and telling you youre a groomer, right? Maybe if you have FAITH in yourself and faith that you MOST CERTAINLY DIDNT DO IT BECAUSE YOU DIDNT then you will begin to believe that you didnt do it, like the faithful christian believes in God. I dont know maybe im talking out of my ass here but PLEASE try and understand that your brain is just spoon feeding you bullshit for the sake of it and that girl probably doesnt even remember you and is happily living life to the fullest 👍
Now stop with the “but what if i did do it” and focus on the “i know i would never do this because i have faith in myself it is just my brain being silly”
You really need to see a psychiatrist and therapist for ocd. This is definitely and ocd pattern. The what ifs and non stop thinking about this and everything you stated are all ocd patterns. I have had the same feelings not of grooming but other situations as well. You can get over this as I have with help. OCD is such a difficult disorder to live with and your brain likes to latch on to anything you could possibly doubt or hit you where it hurts. It's not your fault you feel this way and when this happens you have to look at facts. Not the irrational things your brain is telling you. You were 13, you did not go into the game with intent to groom anyone. You know this. Thoughts lie, the mind lies. Stay with the facts. You will be ok. You do need help and it's ok. There are ocd groups on facebook I find helpful for support but professional help would be the best so you can learn coping skills to deal with this. Not everything works for everyone either and that's ok. I hope this helps a little. Good luck.
You went out of your way to assert your intentions were nothing but good. That is far too young for a kid to be online and it makes perfect sense for her parents to have deleted her account. You never had any intention of harming anyone, that was never there. I hope you can find peace, we're here for you.
Everyone that has replied is 100 percent right. You were only 13 and your intentions were totally innocent. You really need to get professional help asap. YOU HAVE OCD.
1. You need a therapist, you need exposure therapy. It’s that simple.
2. What you’re doing on here is 100% going to make it worse. You have to stop asking for reassurance….. you have to know that there is nothing anyone on here can say that will convince you that you didn’t groom that person. It doesn’t matter what we say, there is always another thread to pull.
Hello,I recommend an app called PlushCare for online doctor appointments and therapy, they are even able to prescribe meds. It's fairly cheap and I love it.
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Does OCD tell you you have to do certain things?
First time here, could you help me, please???
ROCD is eating me alive..
Hi im heidi 
