Is this OCD (need help)? rituals and fears

[Charlieeee]

Hey!

Im new here (so sorry for my bad english).

I think I have OCD since my childhood, because I always used to count things or repeat things to a certain even number to prevent myself from bad luck. If I dont do these rituals, I will get anxitey and panic. But also doing these rituals is really stressing me out, because they take so much time of my day and energy, afterwards I feel very exhausted. Since today I‘m doing this.

I also have obsessions with specific fears. In like 1 month I will get to vacation with my family and since months I believe that someone will burn my face and afterwards I can never be beautiful and happy again and there will be no one to love and marry me.

My brain constantly tells me to obsess and worry about this fear and it makes me believe that it will 100% come true. I often have a bad day because of it ,always being in a state of anxiety, fear, constant worrying and panic attacks. I do not have hope or goals for the future, because my brain tells me it will never happen in the first place. I thought I was getting better until I saw a youtube Video of someone talking exactly about my fear. I thought this was a coincidence but today I saw a post on Social Media of a girl with a burned face, now I strongly believe this was a sign, that it will actually happen to me, maybe also a sign from god.

I just dont know what to thinkt about and what to believe, It feels like my mind ist constantly bullying me and I also dont believe really that I have OCD and all those things are reality.

Do you have similar experiences? Or tips for me? You are free to share 🫶🏻

[LuvSun]

Welcome Charlieeee! I think what you are describing is definitely OCD.

[Charlieeee in reply to LuvSun]

Okay, thank you!! I was really worried

[lml885]

OCD feeds off needing certainty. Validation can be good but it can also be a never ending search for validation and…..certainty. OCD needs that. Working to become okay with uncertainty or not figuring stuff out is suppose to help. Also meditation.

[Charlieeee in reply to lml885]

thank you sooo much 🥺🫶🏻 helped me a lot!! Yea it‘s really scary that OCD can give thoughts so much power and make them look so real or try to see pattern in everything, even if it doesnt make sense. It will tell you everything just for you to feel bad, a liar 😭

[NobodyInParticular-]

Yes, this is OCD. Though it might sound annoying, these prospects of never getting married or not having a future are fears, and even if you can't see it yet, they aren't reality. The way I got through it was just letting go and accepting my dismal fate so that I could see the truth, which wasn't half as bad as what my mind told me for a long time. The first step is acceptance, and instead of avoiding the consequences like I'm sure most of us have, just letting it happen, and what will be will be. After that, you can hopefully see past your fears, because by our logic, they've already happened therefore they aren't really there anymore. But I know this doesn't work for everyone, and if you don't really want to take advice from a random person on the internet, you don't have to pay any heed to this comment, just know that everyone here supports you.

[Charlieeee in reply to NobodyInParticular-]

Thank you so much for your answer 🫶🏻. It was really helpful and calmed me down. Yea you are right OCD can be a big liar. Maybe those fears are coming from the expectations society has for us. It is a really high pressure that we are always living for our future or think about what we can do to create our best future, instead of just living in the moment and enjoy it