hi again my intrusive thoughts have decided to come for round 2, not even three days break this time and its the same fucking thought all over again.
essentially i go into depth on another post but my brain is telling me that when i was 13 i groomed a child. i feel disgusting typing that.
thing is logic no longer works well it barely did anyway. the thing that got it to go away last time was basically emphasising “you didnt even think about grooming until the intrusive thought popped up so how could u?” but it doesnt work now. im so stuck and i hate it. there is no logic or evidnece behind it everything points to it being intruisve but for three years ive been concivinced its not and im a dirty monster.
like literally, the thought kf doing that didnt even cross my mind until the thought came in and i had to google what grooming was as i only had a brief understanding of it.
ANY help and i mean ANY help or replies would be amazing i feel like a monster.
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You have ocd. This is a classic ocd symptom. I have had disgusting horrible thoughts like this. Many ocd sufferers have. You are definitely not a monster. You wouldn’t be feeling guilty if you were.
OCD really latches onto the things that are most important to us (such as protecting children) and twists them around into the exact opposite of our intentions (harming them) and tries to convince us that we would do something monstrous when we would never, ever do something like that because it's entirely against our nature. It goes against everything we stand for. You are not your thoughts. You are not defined by something your brain made up due to OCD.
You are not a monster and don't let OCD lie to you!!! These are only harmless thoughts and are not real. Just please ignore them. Please read the book Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz and it will help you to recognize that this is not you but OCD. Blessings, my friend
HiI had a very similar intrusive thought last year. I couldn't believe I could ever do something like that but my brain decided I did. Three things that helped me: sharing on this page, telling a trusted friend, and using the phrase "maybe, maybe not." Our OCD minds are searching for solid truth, but the problem is, these things never occurred so we just keep thinking in circles searching for a fact that tells us for sure if we did something or not. Saying maybe, maybe not tells our brain that it's not a big deal. The more energy you put into thinking how horrible it is and the more meaning you give the thought, the more your brain is going to tell you it's important to figure out. I'm sorry you are going through this, I hope something here helps you!
I’m sorry you are going through this. I have harm thoughts and to me they are equally disgusting and disturbing.
What helps me a lot is meditation, therapy and a book that I love and relate to 100%. It’s called “Overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts” by Sally M Winston. I’ve read other books but this one is by far the best for me.
Wishing you strength. OCD episodes go away believe it or not but being in one is hell on earth
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