follow up, what do I do?

[OCDlivrecovery]

my therapist our last session pointed out that my relationship with my boyfriend was emotionally abusive and I should call my local DV because I am no contact with my toxic mother. It’s been a few days now and he has been in a depressive/ or suicidal mood when he had mood changes and they haven’t been as frequent. So I have been feeling guilty for reaching out for help so much and idk just confused because I love him and don’t want to leave. He’s suicidal, and the response to me leaving is unknown, he has said he doesn’t want to be with me many hundreds of times when he was mad at me though so I’m not sure how he truly feels. I also use to be verbal abuse as well when we drank but I remember it being it in my defense and a ton of arguments being misconstrued into being my fault and then escalating… I also no longer argue back and he is still verbally abusive and will break things when he is mad. I’m just not sure what to do or if I am over analyzing this situation because just before him, I was in a PHYSICALly abusive relationship. And was diagnosed with cptsd and definitely still have it along with ocd

[SCC1]

I wouldn't stay because your partner is suicidal. You need to keep yourself safe, and it doesn't sound like you are a lot of the time. When he gets violent enough that he's breaking things, to me that is taking things to a more serious level; it's not "only" verbal abuse. Who knows if he will eventually take his anger out on you in a physical manner?

It's his decision if he commits suicide if he's that serious about it. It's not healthy for you to stay in the relationship because of that.

You said your therapist recommended you call the DV. She thinks your situation is toxic enough to take that action. If it were me, I would strongly consider that.

Don't feel guilty about asking for help here. We go through many levels of situations and may need more help per circumstance.

Take care and stay safe!

[avoidingthebadthings]

Your safety is the most important thing at this point. Please get away from him. He is a master manipulator. His mental health is not for you to fix or figure out. You are only responsible for your own safety and mental health at this point.

You are getting stuck with these OCD ruminations about what is real and what isn't, and you are seeking reassurance about your possible decisions. You are in an abusive relationship, and this is very typical of the abused partner, but you need to get help for yourself now.

Make a call to any mental health hotline or domestic violence shelter if you need to hear it from someone else. You can call first to see what the possibilities are. No one is going to force you to do something you don't want to do. Just make the call, please.