Do I have OCD?

[TuanDoan]

Hello all.

I'm really really tired. I have been suffering from OCD (at least I think so) for almost a year until now. At first, it was HOCD, I had always known that I was straight, but something kept telling me I'm not. Unwanted sexual thoughts and images about having sex with persons of the same sex drove me crazy. I watched straight porn to make sure I still had arousal for the opposite sex. I avoided images, movies have men in it. I pushed my close male friends away because of my sexual thoughts with them. My relationship with my parents was falling apart. My symptoms got worse when my friend died a couple of months ago. Every dream, every ambition I used to have was gone. I didn't want to do anything. I just feel very very tired. HOCD is not the only OCD I have. I also have difficulties in reading texts. I keep re-reading text until I ‘feel’ confident I have taken the text in correctly. My primary obsessional fear is that I might not understand the information correctly or miss something important from the text. It usually takes me 30 minutes (sometimes even worse ) to read a page of text. I used to like books, now I can't even read textbooks, novels, or even the subtitles of movies. That's not all, I also fear ... my knowledge. I fear that I have taken everything wrong: Maths, meanings of words, ... etc. I scare that I didn't focus on class and have missed something important. I scare that I'll have to relearn everything. I scare that I might not use words correctly, I kept looking up meanings of simple words again and again to make sure I understand them. I relearned four arithmetic operations ( addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division), searched their definitions on the Internet to make sure I take them in correctly. But that doesn't help, it keeps coming back, my fear keeps coming back, the question "What if I still get it wrong?" keeps popping up in my head. Sometimes I know that my fears are ridiculous, that they're not real but sometimes my fears are so real, too real. I don't know what to trust. I don't even know if I have OCD or not. Are these OCD symptoms? Thanks for reading this and sorry for my bad English, hope u guys can give me some advices

[BethIOCDF Partner IOCDF Staff]

Hello TuanDoan,

I would suggest seeing a therapist to get a proper diagnosis and treatment.

The IOCDF has a Resource Directory which contains listings of licensed therapists, clinics, support groups, and organizations that specialize in working with OCD and related disorders. Anyone can search the Resource Directory by zip code, city/state, city/country, or full street address in order to find results close to them. click the link below

iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/...

[Hidden]

I am so sorry that you are going through a hard time with the OCD.

I also have the compulsion of rereading anything that I read.

It could be news articles online, kindle books, emails, or any types of text.

I have the similar fear that I might miss something, or doubting, that I did not understand

properly.

Also, I have the urges to find out meanings of words, that I do not know, or sometimes I

doubt the meanings that I know.

I feel exhausted by doing these rituals.

You are not alone in this.

The fears that you get try to sit with the anxiety, in a room, and say the fears loudly,

of "what ifs".

Initially, the anxiety will be higher, but slowly with time it will fade.

Do not have any dialogue with your fears.

I was taught this method in therapy for severe OCD.

We can beat OCD together.

Hoping you are able to get better.

Take Care.

[Hidden]

I am sending you a link of a You Tube Video, presented by an therapist, who is specialized

in OCD treatment.

It is about HOCD.

youtube.com/watch?v=clOlsec...(Not working as expected?)

[Hidden]

Sorry, the link of the you tube video, which I sent earlier, shows that there is error in playing it.

I am sending you the direct link to the therapist channel.

HOCD video is posted on it also.

youtube.com/channel/UC3Clvn...

[Hidden]

Sorry, again the direct link is not working for the you tube videos either.

You can do You Tube search for the HOCD video by the therapist named "Nathan Peterson" OCD.

And that will take you to his channel of OCD videos.

Hope this helps.

[TuanDoan in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, that helps a lot!!!

[youn]

Im suffering with hocd too. Ive been suffering from hocd for about 8 months or so. i've been doing alright wit the thoughts and images for about a month or so till tonight i just got some unwanted images in my head that felt real and now i'm doing really bad again. For a minute i thought i knew how hocd worked but i guess not. All i know is that i'm straight and these thoughts and images are just ruining my life when i get thoughts with girls i get happy and start enjoying life but when i get the unwanted thoughts i get sad and depressed cause i don't ever wanna gay and i know thats not who i am. I feel lost again and i don't know what to do anymore i've been to therapy before but it didn't help at all and i've taken medication but it just seems to make things worse. I just want to get rid of these thoughts and images and live a normal life again.

[TheGreatAvoider]

I'm a 39-year-old male. I began to experience unwanted and intrusive thoughts and images at 14. I have thoughts about men, wemon, children. Nothing is off limits. I have thoughts and images of my mom, dad, sisters, nephews, neices, my daughter, babies, animals, and even inanimate objects.

I started my recovery at 23. I've been taking a SSRI and a benzodiazapine for 16 years. I still suffered from intrusive thoughts on these meds. About a year an a half ago I started taking quentapine, a SGA (second generation atypical antipsychotic), in addition to my other meds. Now my thoughts are more manageable.