Can't stop crying and its my Birthday tomorrow

[daffodils]

I split up with my fella six months ago because of all the problems he was having with his wife (separated). After five weeks off work in December I came back. We have remained friends and he told me he wants to be with me, but today I told him the reality was until he stops running around and letting her control him and using emotional blackmail we will never have a future, he agreed. And I know its the right thing to say what had to be said and I will stay out of his way at work, but now I feel so low again. I've been on leave this week, and it gave me time to think. I want to get back to work Monday just so I keep busy. I cant stop crying because I love and miss him and tomorrow i'm 45 and feel like i'm going to be on my own forever. I know I should just get a grip and normally I cope but over the past four months I've had to go on antidepressants because things like this get me so down. I probably sound so pathetic considering some of the problems I read on here.Maybe a really good cry tonight and I will start to feel better, it always use to make me feel better.

[bewlaybrother]

This will probably be of no help whatsoever but perhaps its okay for you to feel down about this, don't beat yourself up. Birthdays and the like (New Years Eve, Christmas etc) can be awful if you're not in the mood, they take on an added poignancy.

I hope that doesn't sound flippant, I would be more surprised if somebody came out of a relationship all smiles rather than upset!

Oh and Happy Birthday!x

[Jeffju]

I agree with bewlaybrother. You will naturally feel down about trying to sort out this relationship and it may end., the trouble with us is that we are so sensitised to feeling anxious/ stressed out that we don't know when it's normal and when it's not. Your hurting is absolutely normal with a relationship break up. Be kind to yourself, cry if you want. I always thing a good cry releases lots of stress. Good luck and Happy Birthday. xx

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[Robb1722]

Happy birthday, it will get easier just give it time, decisions like that need to made for your own sanity. I have been to hell and back over the last 18 months, my ex partner walked away when i needed her most, she chose a man with more money over us and still find it hard not to cry. Emotions are impossible to control when your feeling hurt. You obviously love him, but he needs to work out what it is that he really wants. Be strong, i know it's hard but you're not alone..

[daffodils in reply to Robb1722]

Thankyou so much for the Birthday wishes and advice. Sometimes things happen for a reason and I am a strong beliver in fate, I woke up had a good cry and even though i'm still feeling a little low I intend to chill out and watch a few funny films and try and pick myself up. Relationships can be so hard, great when everything is good but when your feeling low already and everything goes bad it really takes it out on you. I do feel so alone but its just another thing to get through...I hope

[Hidden]

I know how you feel daffodils I can get down on my birthday, christmas, valentines day etc. I am 59 and still on my own. Next year I will hit the dreaded 60! Omg.

I agree with the above comments - you are bound to be feeling upset at the moment with your relationship problems. Be kind to yourself. And for what its worth I think you have done exactly the right thing with your bf. You have enough self-esteem that you won't allow yourself to be treated like that. I salute you and hope it works out for you.

Happy birthday!

Bev x