sensitive, triggers maybe

[Littleone88]

hiii, I don’t even no where to start; lost my friend on Sunday. We’re 34, she’s just turnt 34 on at Patrick’s day. She lost her life. I don’t really wanna get into how. She wasn’t well, but a complete shock. She could have been saved: I was struggling with depressing and anxiety before this happened.

But I was slowly slowly trying to get better now I’m straight back at the beginning. Staring at walls blankly . No thoughts (except ten thousands; rushing around so fast I can’t catch a damn thought) never no inbetween:

We grew up together. Everything reminds me of her to music to animals TV shows. I’m currently having night sweats every night and waking up my whole body is out I’m soaked and I’m having terrifying nightmares. I have no motivation. I literally am live in my life day today, not want to be here anymore. I really don’t want to be. But I have three amazing, beautiful children that I have to be here for. Never felt so desperate and alone and scared right now and I don’t know what to do anymore already on sertraline and duloxetine and pantoprazole. I was grieving my nanny in 2020. Still grieving for my nanny, and now I’m grieving for my best friend to 😞 I feel so alone

[Stippler]

Littleone88 I am so sorry to hear about your loss. A year ago my best friend ever passed away. I still grieve for him and may never stop. I always think of calling him but can't. I don't know what to tell you except that I am sorry, and to say to try to go easy on yourself, especially now. I also admire your courage. I will be holding you and your friend in prayer. 🙏🙏🙏

[Littleone88 in reply to Stippler]

That’s exactly what I keep doing. I keep hold of my phone expecting her to call me to tell me what’s happened. Tell me she is okay it’s a bizarre feeling isn’t it heartbreaking feeling someone that close to you just gone forever ! thank you so much. I’ll be holding you and your friend in my prayers also !! sending lots of love. Thank you for your response ❤️

[Stippler in reply to Littleone88]

Thank you. Sending peace.

[Hidden]

Hello

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, you're going through a very traumatic time right now, but please, please, don't give up.

I had a friend who was a drug/alcohol addict, living in a supported house, she had 2 children who lived with their nanny. She got herself cleaned up and free of her addiction, got her own house, a car, started college, and made plans to get her children back.

Everything was looking good, then she lost her best friend and she went right back to square one. One evening, I got a call to inform me that she had been drinking heavily, fallen unconscious and passed away. It was a shock.

She was in a lot of pain over the death of her friend, although she had a lot going for her in life, she seemed to give up right at the end, but could have been saved herself and it did lead to a big inquest.

I was a single dad myself back then with two children, but we were all affected by this, I saw her family fall apart and try to pick up the pieces, particularly her own two children, I would go and help out when I could, but it was a terribly traumatic time for all.

I understand the trauma and hurt you are feeling right now, but please, try to stay strong for your children, they are totally dependant on you, but more importantly, they will give you the strength to cope, let them be your salvation.

You have been severely traumatised and it's affected you physically, but this doesn't have to destroy you, you don't have to be alone. If you need someone to talk to, then please feel free to message anytime, night or day. Come and say hello sometime.

Sending love and best wishes.

[Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

It really sucks to hear what you are going through, no-one deserves to have to experience this kind of pain. I've never had an experience like you but I have been recovering from some serious mental health issues and been set back to zero after many months simply due to the actions of others. It's tough, of course it's tough, but no-one expects it to be easy for you. Taking things one step at a time is the best thing to do, whether thats one day or just one hour. You have been though something terrible and it is going to hurt, with time you may improve but right now you just need to focus on surviving and it sounds like you're doing amazing. This wouldn't be easy for anyone, you have been injured so it will hurt and take time to heal, just survive and do what you need to, I'm sure you'll do great.

[timbits123]

Hi there. Do you have a clinical mental health contact ? I’m a previous sertaline taker and if your thoughts are taking you down a dark hole as you describe, call them. Now. Please.

T.

[Itsthegirl123]

I wish I could tell you that it gets better, but I don't know if it does, as sometimes you just live with the pain and try to keep going with the pain still there, mediation might be helpful but I'm not too sure to what extent or if it will be most helpful in this situation. I don't know if I can say any words to console you, however I will try, I hope this has helped. Perhaps the pain will gradually get less, try to temporarily distact yourself a little bit. Every day try doing something for like 5 minutes, where it's juts time for yourself or like a time-out, maybe even reading a good (or any) book will partially distracted you for a while, and slowly slowly you may be able to carry on. Hope this help.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

There’s a community on HU for Bereavement care. I suggest you join that too. I joined after the death of my daughter and it was helpful

So sorry for your losses