Me and my ex of 3 years

Me and my ex girlfriend of nearly 3 years. It has been a month now since I lost the love of my life my ex girlfriend she means everything to me and I can't live without her I am so shocked even now that the person I cared for the most and cherrished with all of my heart just left me and I am truly devasted because now she doesn't want to talk to me or see me etc I think she has moved on and it is killing me to see my ex just move on and not care about me and my feelings. I first met my ex in my village and we first started speaking on Facebook and then WhatsApp, we spoke for ages and then we finally met up at the local park and then we just started going out I can still remember what she was wearing on that day. I can remember how nervous I was when I first met her and I can still remember the butterflies I had to. I was so happy that I met her she was my everything she made me happy and we were perfect in every way, we go engaged and I proposed to her where we first met at the local park and I was so happy I couldn't believe I was going to marry my best friend my lover. I did everything for her I bought her things she would ever have and did things for her too, I surprised her with gifts etc and I would do anything to make her happy. We moved out with each other and then a month later she said to me she wasn't happy anymore and she said I was controlling even though I don't think I am. I can't bare to be apart from her because she means the world to me and I can't believe how she has changed in a bad way for who I used to know she isn't the same person anymore she is different it's like she is a stranger to me now. I think she has moved on with someone else now and that kills me to see because I didn't do anything to hurt her I never cheated on her etc I don't know why she would just leave me like this I am so lonely and depressed and I have no friends either I am in a hole that I can't get out of I need some help I really do to want her back but she doesn't want me back I really don't know what to do I have even thought about ending it all because if I can't have her then I don't want to be here I really need some help thank you ???, I love this girl to pieces and I really don't want to be here anymore I want to kill myself :(

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10 Replies

  • This is difficult to answer. i assume you are over sixteen as the post does read a bit like teenage angst. You can't argue with perception and if your girl friend saw you as controlling then it does n't matter whether you were or not. She perceived you as controlling , end of story. 

    Obviously you felt very deeply for your girl friend and I'm sorry for the hurt you are feeling but you must keep things in perspective. No one owns anyone and if your girl friend wanted to end your relationship she has a perfect right to do so. I find it hard to believe you have no friends, but if true that is a dangerous way to live life as you will always be reluctant to let anyone go , and any relationship you are in will always be so much more important to you than if you have other friends apart from a girlfriend.

    Do you feel that there is some reason you find it difficult to make friends ? At your young age it should n't be difficult to make friends, but you should be old enough to know that relationships do break up quite often , and although its painful for every one when this happens , its just part of life .

    If you really feel clinically depressed , as opposed to feeling sad the relationship has ended , you should see your GP for help. Apart from sympathising we can't be much help. If she does n't want you back there is no magic wand any one can wave to change that.


  • Hey Orderal

    I am 25 years old, I just didn't think I was controlling I didn't stop her doing anything she did what she wanted and she went round to the guy she is seeing now's house and she is there now she wants to be with this guy I don't understand why because I thought I perfect for her and I tried to do everything I could for her. 

    I am in love with her so much and I do still care about her even though she doesn't love me she says she still cares about me but that is it and she doesn't want to get back with me. I know no one owns anyone but I didn't want her to leave. I don't have any friends really because I just focus more on my girlfriend then I did on friends. I do have some friends but not that many and I suffer with anxiety and depression and I do find it hard to make friends so yh. 

    The reason I find it so hard is because I suffer with a mental illness and find it hard to make friends. I do try but it is hard. I know that I am starting to realise that.

    I have already spoke to my gp and he has signed me off for 9 days. I know there isn't I have any things to get better :).

    Thank you :)

  • I understand what it is like to have your heart broken, it feels like everything is just going downhill and that you will never be able to cope again. However, my motto is 'everything happens for a reason'. You might not believe in that, but I do and it has helped me in so many situations. So even though you may of lost her, there might be something better just round the corner. 

  • Thank you for the reply. I saw my ex today with another guy can you imagine how that makes me feel :(, my heart shattered once again why does someone you have know for such a long time treat you like this?, she doesn't care about me she said she cares more about him then me. Things are just getting worse for me things don't ever work out for me I don't understand why. I haven't got a driving licence, in debt, live with my parents when are things going to get better for me?, I don't believe that things happen for a reason only when things don't work out for me. She moved on so quickly she didn't even try and work things out and she has said to me she doesn't ever want to get back with me and that I wasn't really her type anyway when she broke up with me I don't see what I did so wrong to her I don't deserve any of this. I don't think there is she is the most beautiful and amazing person I don't think I will ever find anyone like her again :(

  • Thats okay. I'm not going to sit here and say I know how you've felt, because everyone feels different pain. I have been in the same situation situation. My ex boyfriend split up with me, and his so called 'friend' was his girlfriend within the next few days. I totally understand how your feeling. Its heart shattering to see someone else happy without you when all you done was love them and your only goal was to make them happy and cherish everything they have. 

    Sometimes, people just don't see how special you truly are. When everyone close to you tells you how wonderful you are and how its their loss. But it is their loss. By the sounds of things, you seem like a lovely, caring person who is willing to give everything when all you have is very little.

    You need to keep your head up high and keep very positive things in mind to keep yourself going, because one day it will be alright. No matter how long it takes, it will end up being okay and you'll be the person you was before. 

    I see other people haven't been so supportive to what you've wrote. Maybe they haven't been through the same, or maybe they have forgotten. You may think everythings going downhill but I would like to think things will get better for you and im sure they will X

  • Thank you for what you have said :), I do appreciate it :), all I can say about the matter is that it is so hard you have no idea everyone I saying to me that is there is plenty more fish in the sea etc and I am like my heart is in a million peices and I am still trying to pick them up off the floor. I am trying to find my sanity to while I am at it :(. I see I am sorry to hear that I really am because I know how hard this is because I am going through it now. I am so sorry :(, how long were you both together for before he broke up with you if you don't mind me asking?, do you still speak to him now???, yes it is and the hard thing is that my ex lives so close to me so I see get off the bus when finishes work and it is so hard not to go and speak to her and see her because that is all I want to do. I do want her to be happy shame it isn't going to be with me :(.

    I don't think she does because the other day I went to see her about a mile away I walked to see her with my dog and I helped her carry two heavy bags all the way back to her house while she was holding my dog and she didn't really say thank you or appreciate what I had just done it was weird she doesn't care about anything I do I bet if I died tomorrow she still wouldn't care about me I bet you she would be happy about me being dead :(, that is how I feel, I feel dead to her. It's so sad :(, it really is. I cherished every moment with her I would of done anything for her and I did do anything for her like when she used to finish work at night I used to meet her and wait with her for the bus surprise her with gifts and do lots of romantic things for her and now looking back at it I feel used like she just used me for 3 years of my life :(, I don't have any money now. I hope one day things will get better I really hope so :), I am sick of being left by everyone and being used :(, I feel like my ex used me to gain confidence because she did she was incredibly shy and I made her more confident and now she has used me like a stepping stone and she has used me to get where she is now. I am all of those things I am a genuine nice guy and would do anything for anyone I mean that I am caring, considerate, funny, loving, al round nice person :), I don't think I will ever be the person who I was before but I hope I can become more confident again because atm my self esteem is very low and my confidence is low. My anxiety and depression are bad too :(, did I tell you what happened when she split up with me???.

    I know what you mean :(, why are people being horrible to me when I just need some support and help???, thank you very much I am not a very positive person but I do spree wife your comments :), do you think in the future my ex will come back to me???

  • Have you posted here before with the same problem under a different name? The post is almost word for word. Just curious.

  • No I don't think so but I could be wrong :(

  • Seriously?

  • I am not sure :(?????

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