Why can’t I stop

[Patcraze69]

So short version. I suffer from mental health depression and anxiety mine is hereditary (thanks parents). Move with mother and father to new house and fell head over heals in love with my fiancé (Ryan). We’ve been through A LOT and we always say if that doesn’t break us nothing will. So 3 years later. I’m happy fiancé accepts me and my health we live in a little house. Fiancé then becomes sick with his own anxiety about work. I’m supportive as I know what it’s like. He demoted himself which means a lesser paying job so we move in with his mother my mother in law (Judy). Basically I can’t cope. She is so much sometimes. She’s just always there. like I don’t have a private moment with him. Plus he invites her everywhere and I have tried to say “just me and you Ryan” but he says well it would be nice for Judy to come with because it’s us 3. He doesn’t get it. I’m miserable. Like he forgets to tell me important things, tells his mother before me or just plain forgets. I feel sad all the time cause it’s like I’m 3rd wheeling in my own relationship. I kind just need someone to tell me and give me a massive shake up/slap. I know I’m messing things up the more my jealously is coming out and yet I can’t help it. He’s always said I’m my own worst enemy. It’s just getting harder to put a fake smile on. I need someone to give me a good talking to. Help.

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Your main problem is you are living with your boyfriends family and that is causing you grief.

When can you move out into your new home together that should help in you just living for each other. You have words so what are you willing to do regards His Mother ? Yes you need time together and that is to do with you both only and that needs to be addressed, could you come to some form of agreement where you are able to have time together.

I have never done the above however it was bad enough, with the attitude my family had with the girl involved.

How is your boyfriend now, is He having treatment for His depression? is He using been back at home as a prop for His condition ?

I have not really heard on depression been a pass down through family problems only if the problem is actually cause by problems in the household ?. Have you talked to your Doctor regards your Depression and Anxiety, if not I would advise you discuss your problems with your Doctor, make a list of your worries and fears, it may be at this time the appointment will be over the telephone, a list will help you remember all salient points of your condition,s,

You can also consider you both go to Marriage Guidance they will sit you down and allow you to discuss your problems You will get the telephone number under the Council list in the Telephone book, You do not need to be married, just under a serious relationship.

I also understand in the past the Roman Catholic Church used to also have something very much the same in the UK

Keep a hold and be strong

BOB

[Anna_and_Ollie]

I don’t think you’re feelings are irrational. I think you just need to sit down with him and really express physically and verbally how you are feeling. This is nothing against his mother this is about your relationship. This should be an important aspect of his life for him as well so if you start out the conversation discussing your relationship and not his mom he might be more receptive and understanding