Hello I made the unfortunate mistake when I bought my new house and agreed to the in-laws moving in now I regret it they walk around like they own the house, I can’t stand them even if they are near me I really hate them in turn I’m also having regrets in being married, we do have children,but it has made me depressed and all I want to do is leave I’m so confused, being male I suppose I should not feel like this and be stronger I told my wife that I want a divorce but she doesn’t seem to take me seriously which I find very annoying indeed. All I want is to be taken seriously and sell the house and move on, she always backs her parents up and says they don’t do anything if the shoe was on the other foot maybe she’ll be different. I wouldn’t want the kids to grow up in a Mum and dad in a unhappy relationship and life is too short to be in one.
Feelings of hatred : Hello I made the... - Mental Health Sup...
Feelings of hatred
Maybe you could tell your wife there isn't room anymore and you need to be able to extend more. I don't see what being male has to do with it? Anyone would be fed up with this be they male or female. I don't see what you can do if your wife backs them unless you follow up your thoughts of leaving. x
I tried leaving before I walked 8 miles to the nearest train station but I left find my friends on the iPhone and they found me before I got to the train station, I can’t do much about her and her parents your right I suppose it can happen to either male or female I really regret everything it’s a shame as we have two beautiful children
Hi.
I think most people would dislike very much ,not being taken seriously over their request for a divorce ...I don’t get why she isn’t taking that seriously, or at the least realising there is an obvious issue that needs discussion...
The issues main issues i think is her parents then her not taking me seriously I feel like I’m stuck and Im ready to blow my top, can’t even have an argument without her mother sticking her nose in where it’s not wanted
Well that's another reason for them to leave as you are allowed to argue in peace if you want. I wonder if your wife is a bit scared of her parents? Are they domineering? Or maybe she is so used to being under their thumb she can't pluck up the courage to kick them out. x
God knows it’s whatever it is is doing me head in I have seen online £37 divorce but don’t know what there like claim to end it all in 8 weeks don’t think she’ll change and I’m not prepared to be unhappy much longer
A married couple with or without family sharing living space with family members is never a good idea over the long term, stresses and strains can be really heartfelt especially when the couple and children can not grow and learn, especially if interference comes from the other family members, adults like mams and dads etc.
If there is friction you need to be able to talk to your Partner without anyone taking sides.
The real problem is if you move out, the Law can take that as you have walked away from your family, and the In-laws will still be there, possibly with squatters rights.
You need to talk in a safe environment where there is no possible interference and control. Possibly if you can arrange for the two of you to visit Marriage Guidance to talk out your concerns. He says, She Says can be further affected by the moderation attempts and you will have problems moving on together without any form of resentment.
Your In Laws are very lucky to life in your home. It is that that needs to be approached or the marriage may eventually end up in trouble, hence Marriage Guidance.
BOB
Cheers
I went through divorce and find it relief I can be myself and do my own things and have control over my son's life - who is disabled, well autism, learning disability. I find strength in religion and positive thinking books
It’s not a east choice at all
Hey.. perhaps if her parents moved out the relationship would be better? Or maybe not, it’s a hard one. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re just existing and ‘stuck’ in a marriage. And you always hear ‘the grass isn’t greener on the other side’ but, what if it is, because for some people it is. I get where you’re coming from, especially when you have children as you want what’s right for them.. I hope you’re ok and can get things sorted thing out...
I don’t think her parents will move out and my wife says, I would love to live in harmony but it’s not going to happen your right as life isn’t always greener on the other side, I really hope this will sort itself out thank you for your words
Hey Bally1982. Thanks for speaking out and being honest about your feelings and all that is currently going on with your circumstances.
It sounds as though you are in a very horrible predicament and your feelings are quite valid. I strongly don't agree with getting a divorce, however very strong boundaries need to eventually be set and in agreement with you and your wife. If your wife is against you and they are teaming up against and your wife's heart has grown cold to you and she acts as thou there is no hope for change then separation should be considered and lastly divorce but even with the hopes of reconciling.
My wife started hating me for years. She started having affairs. Her parents hated me and supported a divorce. She wanted to file for divorce and marry her affair partner. Who happened to be my best friend... But he dumped her. She got really broke after that. You can't get much lower. I filed for divorce just so I could try to keep control over the connection between me and my three kids. It was a complete living nightmare. But we survived it. We got smart. I got way smarter. I started making boundaries. I grew up. I stopped being a doormat.
I suggest slowing down. You didn't get into this mess over night so it is going to take some time to dig yourself out of it. The book "Boundaries" is a good place to start. Fight for your kids fight for your family. It is hard work but it is worth it.
Today there is Zero BS between me and my wife. And I know EVERYTHING that has happened and I still CHOOSE to love her like Christ Chose to Love me.
Thank you for your words of wisdom, sometimes I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and I’ll have a look at the book maybe this marriage is with saving. Thanks again
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