Should I tell?: I need help and advice... - Mental Health Sup...

Mental Health Support

26,298 members15,359 posts

Should I tell?


I need help and advice. I'm considering telling my ex's new girlfriend he has cheated on her with me multiple times and still wants to just sleep with me because he misses the sex. But the thing is I still feel so betrayed but both of them we had a house together my first with anyone other than parents and he moved her in after two months. His new girlfriend has been his friend for years I always said that he wanted her and he always said she was just a friend and weeks after we broke up they got together and he does things for her and with her that he never did with me and that still hurts as it makes me feel I wasn't good enough when I have him my everything and more and he left me and gets to have the happy ever after but I just don't know if telling her would help me would it help let go of him n all the memories he has ruined for me or am I just still the fool??

9 Replies

Hi Broken_27. As difficult as this situation seems. I personally think you should stay out of it. Telling-could make you end up being the enemy. Sometimes people have to go through these things alone.

Broken,I'm sure you won't like what I have to say as you probably think of yourself as the wronged person, but having been treated badly you turn around and do the same thing to another person. Why ? Did you think that would get him back ? Would you ever be able to trust him again ? I think you should go on with your life and leave that poor girl alone. She'll find out what he is in due course.It's interesting that you are thinking of yourself and you're willing to hurt someone to feel better., PPam

Broken_27 in reply to sweetiepye

No I just want him to feel some pain of Wat I'm feeling as crazy as that sounds as I'm the type of person feels I don't deserve to be happy and not worth good things x

Making or wanting other people to feel badly won't make you feel better, It's a small minded way of thinking and I imagine you want to be a better person than that, You will deserve to be happy and worth good things but you can't get there by wishing misery on others. He's never going to feel as bad as you do because he has what he wants....both of you. You can't let that go on Don't let anyone treat you like that. Hard as it is you have to move on. Most of us have been through this type of situation. It will get better. Pam

Broken_27 in reply to sweetiepye

ThAnk u xxx


If I were u, I wouldn’t bother telling her anything. 1)it isn’t any of your business 2) you will look like a creepy fool in the end. 3) just don’t talk to him or her anymore, maybe he’s more happy with her than he was with u. It happens, everyone goes through it. Also, u don’t know if she has an Sti which can spread to u if he’s sleeping with both of u. 4) get some friends and start hanging out and meeting new people, parties and gyms are a great way to meet new people and have fun. 5) I hope u feel better soon! Ps-I know how u feel and I’ve been there many times, it gets better trust me! :-)

Broken 27 - yes we have all been there, to get hurt and rejected is probably one of the most difficult personal traumas us humans have to endure, and I call it a trauma as for me that is exactly how my last toxic relationship ended, and still 4 years on I suffer from the difficulties and grief this all caused in my 3 year relationship with this person.

Now I could have exactly perpetrated the same revenge as you, but I choose to walk away and never contact that person again, it was the best thing I ever did. I don't hold anymore anger or resentment, I just don't care about that situation anymore and have not for years. The problems I have ly with myself and outside of these toxic relationships/friendships, I realised I'd never given myself a chance, a chance to be happy and have a life, it's extremely tough to work on yourself if you allow yourself to be validated by others. So here's the advice. STOP having sex with this guy, he has left you to be with someone else and yet he's now using you as a backup and booty call to get his rocks off. It's not acceptable at any level, and you have to make a decision now on wanting better for yourself or to be a doormat allowing a person who has rejected you, use and abuse you! I'm going to say as from now, block him and her out of your life, forget revenge, forget bedding him (this part is painful because you feel there is still a connection, but once the deed in done, how cold does he go leaving you feeling like you do)

You need to go no contact and start by looking after yourself, hitting the gym, social clubs, fresh activities, seriously all these things will make you a better person than you already are, and trust me this will hurt him more knowing you actually couldn't give a F about him anymore. I'm sure you can do this and actually quite excited for you, as I know the positives of doing this are amazing.

Difficult though it Is, I would get him out of your Life, he is just using both of you and there is no trust to be gained here. Move away and start to rebuild a new life that does not include him.

It is painful and hard but with determination you will move on, as one door closes another will open x

This is a nasty situation. Think about yourself first what’s best for you is to stay away from them both, move away if you have to. Leave them to it. If it’s that bad it won’t last for them anyway and why should you care. Find someone else leave them literally and figuratively and move on with your own life forget them and be happy

You may also like...