Getting through the night

[Hellohi1]

I just found this page my Dr. Recommended. I wanted to talk about this to see if anyone has felt like this.

2 days ago I really felt the effects of crippling depression. I really felt like I was fighting with myself, I've had depression from a young age but I always somewhat pushed off what I felt and never went to my Dr about it but that's also because I was too young to go by myself. Until a year and half ago is when I did something about it after having a serious episode of depression and anxiety. I took up counselling that was provided by my university. However, after my 2nd session my counsellor made me feel 10x worse than what I went in with, she said one thing that triggered me and I went down this deep hole again, I wondered for months as to why she should say something like that and I could never find an answer. That whole year got really tough for me and I decided that I couldn't continue with my studies I think due to my depression I lost my love for life and that including the subject I was studying.

But I think that was my biggest mistake.... After I dropped out I went into my first serious depression episode. The only source of comfort I would get is walking to Tower Bridge area and just watching the water flow in the river and watching tourist's having a nice time with their family taking pictures. I was indeed jealous of their happiness.

Soon enough I started to have nightmares of me crying and jumping off at the highest point of tower Bridge, in my dream as soon as my body hits the water I would wake up. Since having these dreams I have limited the amount of times I go there. Before I use to go at least once a week now it's once a month.

Anyways fast forward a year to now....... The worst feeling I had was 2 days ago...

I found myself feeling heavy and doing everything much slower. At night it was worse I can't even describe the way I felt and I just remember feeling nothing and then felt really sad because I felt nothing then felt stupid and useless and dumb because I felt nothing I really thought to myself "wow you can't even do that". I really googled 'how to get through the night depression' obviously nothing relevant came up.

At that point I felt really desperate for help for me 'how to get through the night' meant how do I take a deep breath and release this heaviness I'm feeling and feel like it's going to be ok, how do I get through this night without doing anything stupid?

I really felt like I was fighting with myself that night... Luckily I pulled through but now I realise I do need help from a Dr I can't rely on myself everytime there's always a limit to the amount a person can handle.

Does anyone have tips on how you would deal with that situation??

[missmalice3]

I am sorry that you are suffering in this way. I don't know if you have a faith but it is something that I have found to be helpful as it helps to calm me when I become stressed or anxious. You are right to try to see a doctor they should help you find a way through this. Take care.

[Hellohi1 in reply to missmalice3]

I do have a religion I follow but I've been very distant from it recently because it has been another factor that has been triggering for me. It has caused me allot of stress and debate in my mind recently.

[Hidden]

I gather you have seen your GP. Has He suggested any medications or further Talking Therapy ? It is important you are able to talk out your problems and know how to address them, a good Therapist should be able to help you approach your past and come to terms with your Depression. You mention Therapy at Uni, Could you explain what triggered you and why you feel so low because of it. You need to address your past and move on

When you are feeling depressed and unable to sleep, or if you are low during other times have you tried Mindfulness, Relaxation Technique, you can purchase a book on the technique on Amazon for about £10.00. Also there are breathing techniques you can try this method should also help. Try Mindfulness a time before bed, try not to eat before bedtime, have supper two to three hours before bed if this has been a problem eating can cause the body to digest food as you are trying to sleep.

Have you anyone you trust you can talk to this can also help you sound out advice and help you address those problems. Generally and depending on the cause this can help over time although some people who do not understand how you feel can be counterproductive

Can we help in any way. You can PM members here if need arises

BOB