Working nights and being called lazy - Mental Health Sup...

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Working nights and being called lazy


I just don't know what to do anymore. I work a few nights a week and i have to get sleep in the day time. I got in at 8:30am and had to go do something meaning i would not get in till 1:30pm. When i got in and finished what i needed to i went to sleep around 2pm at 4:15pm he came in the room shouting saying your really lazy why havent you got out of bed. This really upset me i just dont know what to do ive had this situation for the past few months and i try talking to him. I just dont know what to do. ☹️

12 Replies

Oh dear he doesn't sound very supportive! Maybe try telling him fine you will give up your job and he can support you? That might just make him stop and think.

I presume he is doing his share of the housework etc. If not then he is the one who is lazy! x

No he isnt i do everything and i earnt the most amount in the house

Well he is a fine one to call you lazy isn't he? I wouldn't do anything more for him - no shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. and let him look after himself. x

Consider telling Him you need to change your job, especially if He feels you are swinging the lead. If you work nights you will need sleep during the day, you had messages to do and now you have lost sleep.

No consideration deserves positive type changes to help you if you work nights. Personally I would start looking for a job with day time hours of work


Thing is i really enjoy my night job thats the thing

You need to lay down the Law, if He understands you work nights, in preference He must have accepted that in the first instance of the relationship.

Could it be He wishes you to start a day shift instead. Could it have been He was pulling your leg, especially when you had to go back to work within two hours.


Did he realise you hadn't gotten to bed until 1:30?

Dolphin14 in reply to Suzie40

I worked nights most of my career. If those words ever came out of my husbands mouth.... well let's just say it would be the last time they came out of his mouth haha

hypercat54 in reply to Dolphin14

You are funny Dolphin :) xx

Trying to explain to your partner about how your job affects your daytime hours should have worked. But you might have to keep telling him until he hears and understands you. You are doing other things besides coming straight home to sleep. He needs to realize that. (My partner had a case of selective hearing and I had to repeat myself quite a bit for him to hear it.)

Perhaps his attitude and disrespect of you is an indicator of a bigger problem in your relationship. If he's treating you like that, what else is he doing that eats away at your self esteem? Is the relationship worth what this does to you? It's pretty hard to believe in yourself when you have to deal with this kind of behavior. I was there, did that...for 8 years, and it broke me down until there was almost nothing left of me. You don't deserve to be treated like that, and you don't have to tolerate it. You have choices, and the ability to overcome whatever challenges you might face to change things. Believe in yourself! 💟

Did you guys talk about the effect this would have on your life before you started working nights? If not, maybe have that talk now and decide what to do going forwards. Then if he agrees to support you in working nights, for whatever reason, never put up with such behaviour from him again. It is not clever, or mature, or fair. If he has a problem that he had not foreseen he can come and talk to you after you have caught up on sleep, and he can propose a solution. Or is it me just being wishful that a grown man can actually ever act like an adult?

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