I volunteered to do a big chunk of work for a volunteer project. The other person organizing the project just asked for a second design in an ugly format, which takes about an hour to perfect. The first design took 2 hours to finish, and as a volunteer, I'm also responsible for personally paying for and producing 1200 copies of the work.
Here's the real issue: I feel disrespected and unheard.
I have felt that way with this person before.
I feel angry and annoyed, in part because of the disrespect.
Complicating that... I'm fighting depression and this reminds me a great deal of issues from the past.
The volunteer work is important to me, and I've been very supportive.
I went in knowing this could happen as he did this on a past project.
My goal is to get through this without losing my patience.
I've already dropped some self respect.
Here's my cure so far:
There won't be a next time. This is something I find stressful and despite awareness, it still bothers me.
I'll do it because the project matters.
Unlike last time, I said how I feel about the second sample, which I didn't finalize because of the time frame. If he insists on it, I'll perfect that and try to let go of how annoyed I feel about a volunteer peer bossing me around in my area of expertise.
I didn't cause it (his arrogance), I can't fix it, even though I would like to.
It's not as important as it feels.
It does, however, hurt.
I'm very aware of how much I judge myself because of his disrespect of my time and skills, and because of how I'm feeling.
I'm gonna get through this. The depression is complicating something simple so it feels!!! like a crisis, even though it isn't.
Reinforcement appreciated. (I do get how I contribute to the situation).
Maybe you could come to our house and listen to the same concerns my wife has about some of her volunteering. (Probably wait till the fires die out though. I am not sure if the roads are even open).
They are almost exact duplicates. Amazing.
The project is worthwhile, most people are good and appreciative, the annoying ones don’t count so they stay an arms distance or more away.
However, you are still affected by the annoying people.
I believe that in spite of you wanting to help you are the most important person to take care of.
If what you do brings joy then great. If you are becoming annoyed it’s something to consider going forward.
Personally, I have become guarded about extracurricular involvement since I don’t like getting frustrated by pea brained people.
I sense that you find value in doing good things for your community. So do I as long as it flows easily without conflict.
Hello there. I think it's great that your volunteering, and you love what your doing, but if he is always judgemental about your work, then I would certainly spend your knowledge and Skills somewhere else where your be appreciated. You have to look after number one and that's yourself, because if not your health will detiorate and u don't want that to happen. I would love to do something like that but with my Depression and Anxiety someone will only have to say something to upset me and I'll be off. So we'll done you for being there. But for your own sanity leave. Best of luck. X
I got through it, had a short conversation with the person that was upsetting me, and recommitted to it, reminding myself of the bigger value while promising myself to remember this. Got her done! And just signed up to do 3 days of virtual information monitoring from home for Team Rubicon. I can do this, but need to look out for me. Thank you!
We got it last night. Not due for more for a while, and we had some pretty intense lightning for a bit as well. 6 weeks to the end of normal fire season.
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