I am currently living with a number of complex MH issues, I feel ive really run out of places to turn to. I see a therapist once a week but that's not guaranteed for much longer given the current circumstances. I suffer with extreme anxiety, OCD, PTSD, depression and agoraphobia.
At the minute with the world in the state of chaos it's in, I'm struggling to come to terms with everything happening around me. I'm not sleeping at night, when I do sleep it's very broken. Waking up every couple of hours, having disturbing dreams about being stuck in dirty public toilets.
I'm obsessively thinking about my loved ones falling Ill and dying, I think about myself falling Ill and dying so much so its sparked my to quit smoking after 10 years overnight. I constantly think about the number of germs on my hands and body, I'm back to walking around not touching a thing. Opening doors with elbows and so forth.
I havent eaten properly this week and couldnt even face walking into my local supermarket seeing though the window the lack of food nearly sent me into a panic attack. I've experienced three panic attacks last weekend bought on as I'd convinced myself I couldnt breath. Im getting so anxious that my health wont hold me up through this.
I'm constantly worrying that I might need help and I wont be able to get it or it wont be able to get to me. I'm feeling totally isolated and cut off. I'm trying to talk to people but I just dont seem comfortable to hold a conversation at the moment. I can begin a conversation but abruptly want it to end and to be left alone which is really confusing for me and completely new.
I'm really trying my hardest to cope but I feel so heavy with worry. Is there anyone experiencing the same?