I don't see the point in life anymore. That sounds bad but it's probably just my cynicism talking. I think about suicide but I know I wont do it because the rest of my family is also emotionally unstable. I wouldn't want to do anything to make them feel bad. Even if I hate my life, I don't have a right to make other peoples lives worse.
I hold up my family. My dad lost his relationship with my brother once he met my stepmother and my sister constantly asks him for more money making him feel stressed. My mother has had multiple mental health products and doesn't see most of her children anymore because they have inherited her sense of isolation. And because my parents split up, now when I visit one of them the other gets upset and it doesn't matter if I don't want to see them, or go to their house, I have to so that they don't get upset.
Because of my family's fragile mental state, I can't talk to them and have hoarded all my feelings up. My friends are no better. Quite a few of them have romanticized mental heath issues so I can't talk to them and the others just don't care. I have had multiple panic attacks and I have lost interest in everything I used to love. I have tried bringing up professional help when talking to my parents but they just dismiss it. So now I'm here. I'm not sure what I'm asking but I guess it's just advice I'm looking for.
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BlueCube
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21 Replies
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Hi well if you are 16 or over you don't have to tell anyone you are going for treatment from the doctor as you are considered an adult. There is no need for anyone to know unless you choose to tell them. x
I know it's strange. I know I can go to these things on my own but I usually don't go out so now when I do I have to tell people where and when. I don't want to worry people and the only way to get help would include worrying my already unstable family. Once I go to uni, I know I wont have to tell people. However I don't want to wait a few years through my A-Levels just to feel happy.
16. Yes, I know I'm young. I understand that I have not gone through experiences that many people have, and anything that I feel now will probably be invalid in the future. I just wanted to try this to see if it would help for now.
Hi the main reason I was asking is because the minimum age to be on here is 16 and I was concerned that you were younger than that. We do get quite a few 'children' here and this is an adult site which could potentially harm them.
I wouldn't for a minute. nor will anyone on here, try and patronise you because you are so young. If you are feeling bad now then it is valid - end of story.
Do you have a counsellor at your school whom you could talk to? Failing that the only way to get treatment and help is to speak to a doctor. Feeling suicidal is a red flag that something isn't right. You can see a doctor in your own right and there is no reason for your family to know where you are going unless you tell them.
Why not say you are meeting a friend or something? Having said that you are very young to be dealing with this on your own so is there any relative you think could help and support you? If not your immediate family then perhaps someone else not so close?
Please don't just leave this for a few years. It might well go away on it's own but if not you will have no option but to seek professional help regardless of what effect it might have on the rest of your family. Not doing this could lead to a much longer treatment and recovery time when you do eventually go. x
I'll try. There is a school counsellor but apparently she is isn't very good and is no help. However it could be a start. I'll try that but otherwise I will have to tell someone. Thank you for your help though.
Well done BC that would be a start. You sound very mature and intelligent with a very good head on your shoulders. You will go far in life x
Hi Blue, Who do you live with, are you able to talk to your Stepmother , do you have an older sibling,? I think you need to find some support and I don't know enough to give you a sensible answer . This should be a good time of life for you, school, fun with friends, maybe a small job to help you be independent. It isn't selfish to want these things. You can not live your life for your family, or anyone else. That is just wrong and will really mess you up. You may have to try several strategies before you get to where you want to be, but it will be worth it. First step, you need a counselor. Do you think another teacher or one of your parents could do this for you? Tell them you are depressed and sad, and a little hopeless. You of course have to make your own decision , bit I wouldn't mention suicide until I see a counselor. Don;t let anyone put you off , I know that's easier said than done , but you sound like a smart girl to me and you'll recognize good advice when you see it. You will get all the care and support you want on this forum. Hugs from a grandma,VM
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ps Or a smart boy, you could be a smart boy. Sorry for the assumption. VM
Bless you!! Well done for reaching out. Doesn't matter what age you are!! The feelings are there and your feeling them!! Please speak to a professional, you deserve a happy good life which will set an example to,your family!! Believe me if you try and break this cycle, they will see you blossom and think wow!! Your doing something proactive and it will boost them. It's not easy far from it my love but your young and these are exiting years. I wish I could say something more profound. If there is anyone outside the family you can offload to it will help. Happy to chat anytime and vent to me if need be. Love and hugs to you.
I'm rooting for you!! When you speak to someone you trust!! They will be very understanding and make you feel strong in yourself. I try to surround myself with positive people. People who except my flaws as well as my strengths!! Your worth everything!! Believe that sweety and I hope you can move forward and enjoy being young and exited About life!! Life isn't easy for many of us, so please don't feel alone. I'm sure many kids your age feel the same. Life is hectic and there's not much community feeling. Keep intouch. 😃
Hi blue, you know one of the things about being older is that there is always a time we were younger 😂 why am I stating the obvious? Because I remember how much older I was back then to now, one thing that can come with maturity is knowledge and awareness but emotions and how our minds function doesn't change.
If it's any help at all, what I can say is if you actively look for changing these debilitating feelings it is always possible. I know at the moment I am in such a good place loving being part of the wonder of life, I sometimes want tell everyone happiness is only a thought away, maybe I am not always like this and its not something I am going to give much attention to anyway. So please don't feel you are trapped by both how you feel and by how you see the world's of those that are around you.
Oddly enough all minds are neurotic, ridicules thoughts are constantly coming and going, some we find easy to dismiss without a moment's thought as just being absurd and yet others we seem to convince ourselves are reality and just keep repeating them over and over for what can sometimes be a lifetime of living in an inner pain.
There are so many different techniques to overcome these feelings, and there is no one shoe that fits everyone, but what I find is they are all teaching the same thing which is learning to quiet those thoughts to the realization that they are not our true reality. Perhaps a bit like dieting when you read about someone talking about a diet for life rather than just a quick fix that looses a few pounds.
It's about learning that consciousness is not the same as thoughts and you can learn to step back and observe those thoughts perhaps a bit like you would if you were just observing two people arguing and not letting yourself become part of that argument.
The NHS offers counselling or CBT it's all about control of thinking at the end of the day. Sometimes we seem to think we have to get rid of these thoughts, but that is not necessarily the need, after all they are merely thoughts that we ourselves convert to our reality and feelings.
I am not particularly intelligent and don't have the skills to really explain things well or make sense of the world as I understand it, but there are plenty of others out there that can. All I want to say is you are doing good, your talking, your searching for help and answers and that will be a lifetime quest, looking inside and finding what draws your passion to the surface so that you can be more aware of what is all around rather than trapped in fear and worry by paying attention to misguided thinking.
I wish I could just put happiness in a bottle and send some your way 😊 but all I can do is wish you lots of love and hugs and life can get so much better when you separate yourself from your own inner neurotic voice, don't worry we all have one! It's what you pay attention to that matters. Lots of hugs, Moni xx
Go to the Dr and tell him/her how your feeling and that you struggling to identify your thoughts. I don't know much of your background, but don't give up reaching out for help, there is a lot of love here and everywhere for YOU.
ahh and praying can help to.
Big Cuddle
Naz
You sound like a very clever mature young man who is obviously going through a really tough time with your family and the dynamics of it. Putting you in a position where one parent makes you feel guilty for seeing the other is not right. My parents divorced when I was 19 and that was hard so I expect it is harder being even younger. It messes anyone up. It's a really difficult thing to go through. Try and find someone to speak to about it and as suggested maybe start with the school therapist. Maybe you have some friends that might suprise you if you speak with them about it. I hope things improve for you. Your life will change completely in the not so distant future, so please don't think things will be this way forever.
Hi, I'd like to suggest you contact Barnardo's and see if they can help you. They should be able to suggest other options in your area. Website is barnardos.org.uk/
You definitely need to speak to someone and I'd suggest now is the time rather than leaving it until you are at Uni.
Take care and remember you are important and you will get through this.
Hi I remember my mother slagging off my father all the time and trying to turn us against him. I was an adult then so I just turned round and said that she had a different relationship to him than we had and he is my father. x
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Argument with mum, just need to vent really...
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I don't know what else to do...
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