This is my cry for help

[harv_singh]

I need help, I’m losing this battle, I’ve started drinking again and making phone calls to the dwp whilst drunk and I can’t remember what I’ve said. I can’t believe what a mess of my life I’ve made I never wanted it to be like this. I can’t do this anymore, I’ve been fighting for so long and I’m tired mentally and physically. Please anyone talk to me, I’m scared and I need to talk

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I assume since you said you started drinking again that you had stopped. Did you go to A.A.? If so, go back. If not, make a meeting today. It's. The best place, in my experience, to go if you have a drinking problem. I used to call old boy friends in the middle of the night after drinking a bottle of scotch. Oh, those were the days.

[harv_singh in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

It’s the only thing that seems to work, I’ve every anti depressant under the sun but none of them have helped, I’m ashamed of what I have become

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to harv_singh]

No need to be ashamed. Alcoholism is a disease. My antidepressants don't work to keep me sober. And my A.A. doesn't work on my depression and anxiety disorder.

[harv_singh in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

So how do you cope? How do you fight the voices?

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to harv_singh]

I don't drink, go to AA meetings and work the Twelve Steps a day at a time. For my alcoholism. For my depression /anxiety/ptsd, I have a therapist and psychiatrist. If I do those things I don't have as many voices and I don't have to "fight" them.

[Pearl67 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Can you explain “how” you work the steps? I am in Alanon still need a sponsor, and just do not understand “working” the steps, besides an inventory and sharing our wrongs and defects with another person.

I agree the two issues need two types of care! Great job!

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Pearl67]

That's what I needed a sponsor for. My sponsor worked with me as I studied each step in order. And I also learned how to work them by listening at meetings as to how other members lived their lives. Use your literature. Make meetings. Get and use a sponsor. Work the steps with help and direction from others. Take it one day at a time and give it time. You'll get better. IF you do those things.

[Pearl67 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I do the “things” just without a sponsor😩

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Pearl67]

In. My experience you're doing yourself a disservice. Find someone who has what you want and ask them. You're basically flying blind and can do better learning from people with time. But that's merely my opinion based upon my impending experience. Just keep coming.

[Pearl67 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I agree 1,000% but not easy when you live in a small town with one meeting and no sponsors in the group😬 I do online meetings as well! But everyone I have asked are too bogged down with sponsees🤷🏻‍♀️ People are busy, I totally get that!

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Pearl67]

Keep trying. It'll work for you. Pm me anytime and we can talk some mor.

[Pearl67 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you!

[Hidden]

The first step to getting anywhere is deciding you are not willing to stay where you are.

If you truly can’t do this any more, it’s time to call the Big Dogs. They can help you, AA and getting in touch with your doctor, they can help you find therapy/counseling as well.

[Hidden]

You r here..and talking with all of us, that is huge.We r all here to lend and ear and a shoulder to cry on if ya need it. You r not alone.

Sending a hug ur way my friend...

[Kk1100]

Are you okay? Remember to try and talk to someone anyone it's hard I know it is but please dont do anything silly x

[recovering_son]

The best advice i can give you is get yourself in detox right away and stop fanning around with the same old insanity because it will never be different with drink and drugs.

[kenster1]

hi harv the first thing you need to do is stop drinking it really will make you worse.go to your doctor maybe have a chat about how your feeling its important to talk and get it off your chest.so what if you were drunk and phoned the dwp hopefully they listened regardless because they should do.

[En1234]

Hey there! Sorry to hear that you are not coping very well. I have been in the dark place that you seem to be in right now and you CAN come back from it. As they say in AA "One day at a Time" (I didn't realise until I attended AA that this song was sung by Lena Martell because of her problems with alcohol!!). I only attended AA for a short period of time. They say it isn't for everyone and certainly wasn't for me. But I did talk. I talked to people I trusted and visited my GP. I did get stronger, but a little at a time, it didn't happen overnight. The root of the problem right now is the alcohol and if you take that away then things WILL start to look better. You will find a way of coping. Make a plan every night to do something the following day, even if it is only a small thing like going for a walk, going to a café for a coffee.... anything....just so you know that you had made that plan and you had stuck to it.... baby steps.

My drink of choice was wine, and now when I see a bottle of wine and am tempted, I imagine a skull and crossbones on the label because I know for me it is poison. If I go down this road again then I will be unravelling all the good things I have done since leaving the place you seem to be in now.

You need to force yourself to get out of the house. Your own 4 walls can be the lonliest place on earth when you are feeling low and having conversations with yourself and going for walks inside your own head will only make you feel worse. Please make a plan to go out today, just for a short time, don't drink and if you want to speak to someone on the phone, phone the GP or a good friend (or the DWP and ask if you can arrange an appointment to call in and speak to someone face to face - calling anyone these days is a nightmare because of all the Options you have to choose before getting to speak to an actual person and this too adds to frustration.

I am sorry my post is very long, but being a typist I can type as quickly as I can talk/think. (This is not me showing off - but I have been accused on here before for leaving posts that are "too long" so apologies for this.

You have been very kind to me in the past on here and I hope things really do get better for you!!

Sending you lots of love and a much needed hug!! XXXXXXXXXXX

[harv_singh in reply to En1234]

Thank you en x

[Pearl67 in reply to En1234]

Not too long. If people have issue with length, it is their issue!

[Rdiz777]

I don't have the answers, but I'm praying for you. Do those things you know are right and I think you will feel better for it.

[DJB74]

Im here my friend. Talk to me any time. No one should feel the way you do.

[harv_singh in reply to DJB74]

Thank you, I’m struggling a lot

[DJB74]

I completely understand and Im here for you to listen and share my guidance and empathy with you because noone deserves to live the way we do. Please feel free to contact me as much as you want and share as deep as you feel comfortable. I do generally work 12ho days and if Im not on here please contact me by text or call at 5732314116

[Hidden]

In the UK have you not tried Alcoholics Anonymous, they are on the internet and have centres throughout the UK

BOB

[JessyT]

This absolutely breaks my heart!! Your not alone I know it’s hard to think that but your not! Your deserve to be here to wake up and breath like everyone else keep going your stronger than you know as just speaking about it it so powerful you’ve got this I promise you ✌️