New years

[greymegan]

I have been dreading this day completely.

Seeing everyone so happy and grateful for all the joy and lessons the past decade has brought them makes me feel like a complete failure, as though I’ve wasted this past decade.

I think back to 10 years ago and I was so happy. I had no cares, no worries. So looking back makes me hate myself for how low I’ve let my self sink.

I am spending New Year’s Eve on my own, in bed, with alcohol because honestly, this is quite possibly the worst day of the year for me.

I am going to feel exactly the same, if not worse tomorrow, so I see no reason to celebrate.

I have wasted my time this year and I could kid my self and say “this year has taught me so much and I am going to learn from this for next year” but I’ll be realistic and say that next year, I will be no better and nothing will have changed.

[hypercat54]

Happy New Year anyway Megan. x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Hello Bev

A happy and prosperous New Year to You.

BOB xxx

[Millie09]

Please dont beat yourself up megan , I am.on my own , was on my own all over xmas yet I have two older sons and a daughter yet non of them can see past their own noses . I shed a tear at midnight for the passing of my father and my aunt and my mum , the divorce in 2007, my chronic illness, my anxiety and my morbid thoughts. Yet.. I decided to make this new year a year to live, all those negative feelings you need to brush off , start again in the morning.

Do you know what I did boxing day? After wasting my money on food for my son not to turn up for xmas lunch and the fact I had to pay out 39.00 in taxi money to see my son and granddaughters on the 27th ..bearing in mind he has two cars ,lives in Dubai, has a home over here , yet too selfish to help me out when he knows I have other mobility problems, I got on the internet and booked myself a week away over xmas this year ..yep ! I'm wasting no more of my time people pleasing, so next xmas I'll be away from it all on a sunny beach .. this will give me the incentive I need mentally and physically. No I will never get any better health wise but I'll be dammed if I'm wasting any more precious time I have left .. happy new year Meghan. It will get better

[Hidden]

Hey greymegan...totally get what ur saying.I myself am not big into New Years n my evening will be with my dog,my phone,computer in bed or in a computer chair probably downing orange soda n eating a load of crap food,but I'm gonna talk with nice people like u on HU n do me this new years eve.

Here if ya need to chat.

[Np77]

Hi

I'm the same, sitting indoors doing nothing while everyone is enjoying themselves,but are they really?

Paying an entrance fee for a crap pub,paying over the odds for alcohol and drowning their sorrows,puking in the gutter and at the end of the night paying over inflated cab fares to get home.

Is that an enjoyable night?

[Hidden]

Look back on this decade, write a list of everything you have done a further list of your negative thoughts. You may be surprised how many good lings that have happened. The bad has happened because that is you learning and how to move on.

I did something similar and I was surprising how much I had learned and enjoyed. Life is a journey, we dwell on the negative like a car with a flat tire.

We get no where. Yes you can sad to say remember the negative. However be thankful for those small mercies it is in that way we move on

BOB