Struggling to get by each day!

[x_b_x]

Hey everyone.

I hope you are all well? I want to apologise in advanced for this post, it may rabble on a bit and not make any sense, but I appreciate you all taking the time to read it and advise me further.

Lately I am not coping, I am struggling. I have had anxiety and depression since I was 12, they always thought it was something more then just that but I never really got the support in which I needed. I had therapy and medication, but decided to break free from both when I was around 20, as I thought I was a lot better and could cope on my own.

Since then I have been a mess, I have gradually got worse, I struggled to hold down relationships, jobs and even friendships. Now at 28 I am the worst I have ever been.

I am in a relationship of 3 years, we have our own home and it is going well. I still struggle with relationships and find them to much at times. I have even reached out for help again, unfortunately the self referral team in Derby said that they would not be able to provide me support and have referred me to a psychiatrist at the hospital as they think I may have borderline personality disorder. This was back in November, I finally got an appointment in which is in March, 4 months of waiting and I am struggling. I just want help to rid me of this pain and suffering in my head.

I have started a new job in January and I hate it, I do not know what to do. I really cannot stick it out any longer, it is making me miserable, but I have 3k in credit card debts. I just feel so stuck and it is making my mental health worse. I have tried speaking to my employer about my unhappiness but they just turned it all back onto me and now I dread going into work every day. I cry on the way to work, in the toilets on my breaks and spend my lunch break in tears. I am a paranoid mess and I do not want to be there at all, I do not want to give it time or anything, I really do not like it.

I really do not know what to do right now, or what advice I even need, I just needed to talk to someone, anyone, just to let go of all this pent up emotions inside of me.

Has anyone else in here been feeling the same, what have you done to make changes?

Any advice at all would be much appreciated.

[Hidden]

What can happen over time after treatment we forget our coping skills, your condition follows a well defined pathway and you need to bring back what you learned in CBT. However, you are now been seen in March at Hospital. Make your list and try and remember your past course of CBT. Generally, I know it is hard you need to sit down and consider your needs and expectations

Your employment seems to be problematic, try not moving on until you have another position to slide into. It is easier to get a new job if you are in work, however many people around you may say you do not need to enjoy your work, Personally a fulfilling occupation can be a wonderful asset

It may be you need to consider many things to move on you have been with your Partner for three ears, You need to look at your needs and expectations. To know the path forward will help you understand future needs. Look for diversions and hobbies to get you away for a time The possible humdrum or lack of interests can be problematic. If at all possible both you and Partner should be able to find interest you both enjoy

BOB

[hypercat54]

Hi I emphasise as I have had jobs I hated in the past but had no choice because of financial restraints and had to concentrate on getting solvent again. It's awful when you dread going in every day to something you hate.

I was in the same situation in my last job at a call centre and hated every single day of it. I stuck it for 5 years coz there were no other jobs in my area, and the way I did it was to try and become as numb as possible and just see it as a means to an end.

It did make my depression worse though so the jury is still out on whether it was worth it or not. x

[Catlover3]

With the credit cards, can you get a new card with 0% interest and transfer all the debt onto that card. It might make things a little bit easier financially.

[Take_Me_As_I_Am]

Im sorry you’re going through that. I know how hard it can be working at a job you do not like. I’ve had several of them, and I’ve done the same so I can relate. Unfortuanatrly I don’t have any advice at hanging in there as I am struggling to reinstate myself at my own job.

As far as the credit cards, i can relate too as I am in serious debt. Im working on it little by little. That advice Catlover3 gave was about transferring was good.

[Hidden]

With regards to your Credit cards and debt, it may be an idea to destroy several cards leaving only one you can use, this will reduce the amount of money you can borrow and it will give incentive to pay all the cards off.

When you pay of your cards, you can explain what you have done by the card suppliers and if needed they will most probably supply new cards.

One thing they do if you have one card the limit will rise on that one card and then you can manage the cards use more carefully. One card should help you manage you will become more watchful.

BOB