I don't think i can get any lower..

[butterflykiss]

I am hoping that putting this out there, that i can start to climb back up....I had a full break down starting on the last week of November..I was feeling so bad because of the flu but when i got to the stage where i had to phone and say i couldn't look after my son's needs(Needs 24/7 care) that i broke down and cried for day's. I new what was wrong with me and that sleep and rest was needed but i got bombarded with calls to go see the GP. To be honest that was the last person i wanted to see as i new the way i would be treated..Lot's of silly questions etc and i new i would blow my top and that they would put me in hospital and thats the last thing i needed. I had social services constantly on the phone and i fell back on my ex for help as i new he could see what they didn't. Once he said that he had control of my medication and that he would look after me they left me alone. What's getting me is that now i have to go before a medical team to prove i am fit to have my son back with me..Yes i understand that this can happen but i was the 1 who asked for help and proved my point that it was lack of proper sleep and rest that was the cause of my break down. Now i feel like they are going to put me threw the ringer and this has me stressed out. I am not full fit and i will admit that but having my son back will give me the strength to keep going. I just hope that all works out tomorrow or i'll be in a right mess..This has been the lowest i have ever been and i never want to feel like this ever again. Can i please ask that you say a wee prayer for me and that i get my beautiful son back and start feeling like the woman i want to be...

Thank you all..

Kazza xxx

[gardengnome]

hope things go well for you tomorrow, are they in a position to recommend to social services that your son receives more respite care? their input may turn out to help in that way.

I work with children with special needs, and so many times the parents write in their diaries to say their children had a restless night, if only the powers that be appreciated how draining that will be night after night, a week of sleep deprivation ought to be a compulsory part of every professionals training, Really really hope things go well.

Do you have the chance to take an advocate in with you?

If they do say you need to wait another month you will at least be more rested by the time your son comes back, and it might give the social services time to get their act together with providing night cares etc.

[coatpin]

I can see both sides,, but I think they willbe looking at, you being needy, and putting the responsibility of your condition of your health onto your son.

I think if you put it like, I want whats best for my son. I can cope now being a mother to my son. I think that being away from me, might bring abandonment issues if kept way from his home any longer. Thank you so much Im much better now.

I would insist someone from mind come with you, after assessing you. To put their professional assurance your much better able to cope. Or a solicitor,,,,, they wouldnt want another report of yet another person being treated unfairly with mental health issues

[Hidden]

Hi

You are having a hard time at the moment. Acknowledging you could no longer cope and needed help was a courageous act but it is natural that now you are frightened about the repercussions. Go the review and BE HONEST - that is the most important thing. If you try to kid yourself and other people you will create more problems for yourself. No one wants to see your children away from you for longer than is necessary - you are not a monster, but a mum who is struggling to cope and needs help, so say so. You say your son needs 24/7 care but don't say whether that is a special need beyond mothering due to health problems or because of his being a baby still but 24/7 care is demanding for anyone to provide on their own so do stop beating yourself up about having needed help. You have been given respite care and a chance to get over your own immediate health issues - if the time has not been enough then say so and explain how you really feel. Talk openly with the people who are there to help you. Yes you are right that being away from you too long may cause separation issues for your son which makes it doubly important that the situation is handled sensitively. Have you seen him while he has been looked after, if not can you see him and gradually take back his care rather than it being all or nothing. That way he and you will both have a chance to get used to things. Also do discuss what kind of support you can get in order to cope, particularly at times when your health is poor. Perhaps you can have a family support visitor, someone locally who you can call on when things get too much? Sometimes breaking down as you call it can be a helpful thing and enable a more positive situation to evolve so try to put aside your fears and realise people will want what is best for you and your child.

Suexx

[butterflykiss]

Thank you gardengnome, coatpin and secondhandrose. I have my son back with me and I just want to say that doing what I did was very hard for me as it's the 1st time I've completely broke down. My son was born with Down's Syndrome 29yrs ago on boxing day. He now has a trecha(hole in throat to breathe)and 2 3rds of his body was burnt during a house fire. He has no speech due to the weakness if his vocal cords and has a nebulizer and suction machine beside him at ALL times. Now you'll understand the looking after 24/7. Even tho I had a nervous breakdown, I had to ask 1 of the people who works with my son at a day centre if she could care for him. The social service team were very worried at this stage yet couldn't find restbite for him(need to be trained to look after him)so the girl who had him told me that she would keep him untill I felt fit enough to have him back. What has angered me so much is that if I hadn't passed, the SS would have taken him off me and put him only god knows where. Restbite is a very important and much needed aid for parents/children yet because of his trecha he has not had any restbite for a year. Now at this time of the year were so many others just like myself are finding it so hard to get over the xmass day/new year because of a death of a child and parent both in my case and still trying to keep the depression from pulling me down, is so very hard. Roller coaster day's, mood swings and migraines and I no lot's of you are feeling the same. Thanks again for your time and your word's.

Kazza x

[gardengnome in reply to butterflykiss]

oh boy not an easy situation, hope you get through the holiday season, not sure if you can link into any of the uk downs organisations to act as advocates for you both, or ask the trache consultant to help get official training provided for staff at a local respite unit. Let yourself get through the holiday season first before summoning up the energy to kick the health/social services respite services in the bum. Is there the possibility of funding for trained agency staff to either come into a unit as a 1;1, or to work a night shift at your house even? Perhaps your own health problems will give the folks holding the purse string an extra shove? Good luck.