Struggling

[Dardilis]

Hi all,

I don’t really no what to say as I find it difficult to talk, Iv recently had a break down and at the moment struggling with day-day life feeling like what’s the point. I’m holding on just about Iv been to my doctors for help but I have been waiting since mid jan for a councillor, I’m still waiting. My doc also thinks I may have fibromyalgia but still waiting on diagnosis. I feel at a complete loss not only trying to cope with my brain on a daily basis but also all this pain I am in I’m 41yrs young but for the past yr feel like I should be 70 it’s like my body and mind is shutting down on me. I forget conversations mid way through and have to be prompted by my husband as to what we was talking about.

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome to you.

I’m sorry to hear of your struggles.

I too had a break down, it takes time to heal,

I think one of the worse things for me was being impatient with myself. I expected results much quicker than they came for me. Small steps achieve big things. It is initially small steps. The exhaustion of it all is overwhelming.

It does improve with time.

Go easy on yourself.

Unfortunately the system to help is slow with the waiting lists, bare with it, it’s difficult, but keep pushing to get that support, you deserve it..

I’m glad you found us here, I learnt a lot from forums such as this and realised although we are all very individual on our healing journey we understand ...

You are not alone

Best wishes to you 🌺🌼🌺🌼 x

[Dardilis in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Olivia for your reply.

The worst for me at the moment is the amount of pain I’m in constantly this is having a terrible effect on my mental health as I’m exhausted as I can’t sleep, I can’t do the things I used to. I was always very active and walked everywhere but since my employer terminated my employment in jan this yr I have fallen deeper. I feel so useless to the point it drives me crazy. I visit my doctor quite regularly but feel a bit let down at the moment so reluctant to go, the last time I went I enquired how long my appointment with my therapist is Lilly to take and she told me we are a struggling NHS. I have suicidal thought daily but manage to push past them now but that’s only as I have a plan in place if the time comes. I’m holding on for the sake of my son and husband they are the most important people in my life. At this moment Iv still got some strength left. Sorry about long response and waffles. 🙏

[Hidden in reply to Dardilis]

Hi. Your not waffling. It’s good to write it down, I find it helps me.

Your experiences with your dr don’t sound good. Yes there is waiting lists on the nhs and it can be difficult but she doesn’t sound very helpful generally. Can you see a different dr at the surgery? The surgery I’m at has several and you can request to see any one of them...people often do.

It’s so difficult for us and the nature of the beast is not to bother people and we feel we are being a bind...please don’t give up, well done for seeing dr regular.

You can self refer for cbt, again there is a wait list depending on your area, but it’s worth the wait, it’s about getting in the system I’ve found. I had cbt some of it helpful some not so but I stuck with it and now I see a professional on a regular basis for therapy, one to one. They can also make suggestions to your gp once they are seeing you.

You can self refer online type in talking therapies NHS and your area. Complete the form , be honest about how you feel and the thoughts and plans.

Initially I didn’t get a great response fro a gp I left it a couple of weeks and went to another one, also self referred to talking therapies...that self referral did the most for me...I kept at it, it was so so difficult at times. Must admit I got more from referring to talking therapies than anything else as they seemed to guide my gp with their suggestions in the end and me with how to go about it...

I’m sorry I don’t know about fibromyalgia but surely something can be given to help with the pain you are experiencing...

🌺🌼🌺🌼

[Dardilis in reply to Hidden]

They have given me gabapentime for this I’m on the highest dose but as they are not working I have to be weened off them before I can start new ones.

My regular go who was amazing had unfortunately left for pastures new (how I wish I could start a new somewhere) it would only follow

Iv suffered depression all my life even tried to top myself when I was a child a few times . I thought I was over it I’d been medication free for 5yrs then bam in 2016 I broke. I don’t like myself very much atm.

[Hidden in reply to Dardilis]

So sorry 😞

To struggle how you have done all your life you are a warrior ! You can get to a better place again, but I know it’s awful when it’s in the throws of it...I dip in and out myself, although do now get some good days and can go on trips, I love walking too. Some days I can’t because of my anxieties...

Oh to lose a good gp is a bind too😞

I hope the weening process is over soon and you can have some new meds that work for the pain...

It’s so difficult but do keep the hope, it helps us so much

🌷🌷🌷 xx

[Dardilis in reply to Hidden]

I hope you have some wonderful good days. Anxiety is really bad espywhen it won’t allow you to leave your home. Sometimes I feel every one thinks I should be better now as I’m on medication that’s far from the case, I have no one to turn to at times and don’t I don’t aleays want to burden my husband. I suppose I just wanted to hear it’s ok to be like this and theirs many more in our same situation. I wish us all a speedy recovery.

Have a lovey day.

😀

[Hidden in reply to Dardilis]

It is ok. And it takes time.

You are not alone..

This is a great outlet for chatting and getting things out.

Do use it , I’m sure it will help

Best wishes 🌺🌼🌺🌼