Struggling to sleep and function

I am struggling at the moment and have for the past week to sleep. I have a feeling of failing at everything and really struggling to rationalise, plan and carry it out. I'm usually good at the plan part but I just can't focus. My memory has gotten a lot worse.

I am worrying a lot over so many things and I can't seem to make myself function and break the cycle. I am managing just to do the essentials and look after my girls but really scared I will end up worse. My husband doesn't understand and I don't know how to explain.

I need to get past this quick but I'm not sure how.

14 Replies

  • Have a word with your GP. Lack of sleep makes everything feel worse. If you can't explain verbally write it down and show it to your husband. Breaking the circle of worrying is not easy so you need help. Glad that you have your daughter's to care for, that's what helped me. Keep in touch with this site, they are a friendly lot. Regards Lorna.

  • Hi Lorna, thanks for this I manged to speak to my husband this afternoon. We both had took the afternoon of work as we have traveled to stay with family for a few days. The girls where out with nan still so we actually had an hour were we could talk with out having to worry about the kids.

    I think if we struggle again I will write it down then he can read it. Sometimes it just feels like to much effort to try and communicate what's going on but he could tell there was something.

    Just winning that little battle and getting his support has made me feel a bit better.


  • Dear Hay, I really feel for you. It sounds as if you are suffering from depression and I think you should see your GP for some help.

    If your GP confirms depression he will tell you this is just as much an illness as a physical illness and you need medical help to come out of this spell. Your husband's support is as important as any medical help you are given and if possible you should see your GP with your husband which will help him understand the problem. For people ,perhaps like your husband who have not experienced depression it is very hard to understand but it does occur for one in four,possibly more ,at some point in life.

    I can't pretend its an easy illness but the sooner you see your GP and identify for sure what you have,and get the correct help then just knowing this is a big step on the road to recovery. I suspect that doing the essentials and looking after the girls is taking more effort than usual and you are doing well to carry on ,and will be able to continue to do this. You are not failing at everything --depression just makes you feel that way. Its a bad, bad enemy and many of us on here know it well.

    Sleeplessness , worry , and poorer memory are all symptoms of depression but there could be other reasons so see your GP quickly ,and if possible take your husband to the appointment. Your GPs workload is probably mostly made up of people suffering this illness so he will be able to help.

    Those are the first steps and just knowing you have arranged this will immediately take some of the load from you and start your recovery. Often a family's efforts to combat depression in a family member can bring the family closer together.

    We will be here for you but can only offer words and understanding, but I'm sure you'll come through and in future may be able to help others with this illness.


  • Hello again ,Hay. having now read your other posts it appears you have already shown a lot of courage over a period in fighting depression,so a lot of what I wrote before ,altho its right ,you probably already knew.

    Having your daughters to care for will be so essential to you as a Mum that I don't think you need to worry that you'll get worse. I would still make an appointment to see your GP ASAP and ask your husband if he'll come along.

    I'm sure as he sounds a newish Dad your health and your kids being well looked after by you both will be just as important to him. Depression is very common but if your husband comes from a very stable family where no one has suffered this it is hard to understand so bear with him. His help and support are the most important thing you could have at the moment, although your Mum sounds as if she close at hand and I'm sure she's a great support to you too.

    It sounds from other posts that this was triggered by having your last child. The sobering news is that any help your GP can give won't work immediately but if you can show your husband an article on depression or even some of the posts on this site it will help him understand and with his full support it will almost half your burden and the time to coming out of this will seem so much shorter.

    I don't know if you're still working but if you are, and doing the essentials at home ,and looking after the girls ,with depression you already deserve a medal. You won't get one but at least knowing you deserve one might help.

    Probably your memory and functioning are a bit worse, but I suspect by nowhere near as much as you imagine . Thats what depression does to us, warps our thinking.

    Wishing you all the best and luck


  • Hi Olderal,

    Yes ii am still working as well as the mum jobs.

    I think my biggest problem is that I have been well for a long time and have reduced my dose of my medication. We have had a family vacation that resulted in me forgetting to take medication and I am hoping that is the cause of this. plus I have had a bad back and haven't done my usual exercise and eaten rubbish because we have been on holiday. When we got back I haven't broken the cycle of eating the wrong things and haven't really done what I need to do to keep my self well.

    I think I just hoped it had gone away.

    Silly I know!

    Taking medication regularly now and hope I don't have to increase the dose feels like an achievement to lower it and I have been on the lower dose for 3 months now.

    Couldn't get an appointment with gp today and I'm away for a few days so I will see how I am when I get back.

    I'm a bit worried how I'm going to cope with this while staying at someone else's house but It was arranged when I was well and girls are excited so I will make it some how.

    Thanks for the support I think I needed to hear that!

    I have spoken to my husband and he understands where I am again. I think because I have been doing well he forgot the places my brain can take me me but hopefully I have his support now.


  • Then you are doing very well.Take heart from that. A lot is not understood about depression and it may be that post natal depression triggered the depression genes. It may be wise to continue antidepressants for quite a while longer, maybe for a very long while, only your GP can advise.

    I think you are wise in general to be apprehensive about taking drugs and to lower them to the minimum is wise but you may need a certain minimum to keep well and it would be equally unwise to go below that. Trouble is it will be a trial and error job with your GP to find this level. Exercise , eating well , and keeping working I'm sure will be as important as medication. I think most psychiatrists agree on this.

    I'm sure you will be much better than you imagine during your stay away and that your husband 's support now will make things a lot easier. I think his support is the most important of all the various factors and am so glad you've been able to explain to him. It is so important for your family that you fight this together.Its a "tough" enemy but you have a lot going for you and I'm sure you will beat it.

    All my best wishes to you both. Olderal.

  • Hello Hay

    You are still suffering post natal depression, generally this can take a time for this problem to fade. Your GP will be able to put you in contact with a therapist to give support and understanding, as I suppose your problem may cause problems with other members of your family not forgetting your children.

    You say you have further issues, these I suppose could also be affecting you So you need support from people who know and love you as well

    Talking Therapy may be a good idea. Take advice from your GP

    If you need to gain further support from us, we are always here to talk.

    However it is important to make that appointment with your GP. Considering the aforementioned problem it may be a good idea for your husband to go along with you on this occasion

    All the best


  • Hi BOB,

    Thanks for the advice I have already been to therapy think I just let myself slip into old habits with a combination of things meaning I am here again.

    Goin to try and break the cycle that's the hardest part for me!


  • Hello Hay

    One way to get back to a regular sleep pattern is to go to bed at that regular time and try and sleep.

    If you find you cannot sleep get up and have a warm glass of milk with honey in then sit for a while and go back to bed.

    The other way of course is put a slog of whisky or rum in warm milk and go too bed blasted. lol

    You need to always to go to bed at the same time. This should train you to sleep and follow the desired path.

    There are drugs although these days they are reluctant to prescribe and if your GP them it will be for a short time.

    There are several herbal medications you can try one I think is NGHT ALL I think you can buy a selection in the chemist, They need no prescription.

    When you go to to see your GP you will be discussing your problems, ask then


  • I will give it a try thanks

  • Hi there Hay, it's very tough when your sleep cycle gets upset. I do

    Remember you saying a few months ago that you had Post Natal Depression

    I suggest that you go straight back to your GP and tell him exactly what's going on ,

    You may need different antidepressants.

    It must be hard for you t o feel your husband does t understand. And this is

    Not unusual for family to be puzzled. People think , " oh a new baby" must be happy as Larry. But it can also be a very difficult time for some.

    Not sleeping seems to be a big symptom of your Depression, so once Depression is

    Addressed your sleep should improve. A young Mum needs her sleep, so off

    To the Dr. With you. Lol

    Worrying about everything is another symptom of Depression too, when I was

    Severely Depressed I worried about the most seemingly trivial things.

    Please let us know how you are.

    Kind regards

    Hannah x

  • Hi Hannah,

    Thanks for the post I'm feeling slightly better but still not sleeping.

    Hoping to get to the doctors next week if things haven't improved but putting into practice some things the councillor i saw a while ago recommended that I have stopped doing as I didn't feel I needed to mostly challenging my negative thoughts and looking after myself so I can look after my family

    Hay x

  • Hi there,

    The GP might subscribe you sleeping pills. Try a more natural remedy. some say it works but some say it don't. If you can get lavender oil put some of that on your pillow and they say it helps with sleep. it was tried on some who suffered from insomnia and the results say there was an improvement in the quality of sleep.

    Another method is to take half a teaspoon of bicarb soda in warm water and take that everyday, not too much though. not only does it help with digestion and acidity, they say it de-calcifies the pineal gland and that gland is responsible for your sleeping patterns and slowly but slowly you should feel an improvement in your sleep.

    third method could be a far fetched one but I have tried it and i fell asleep on more than 1 occasion. type pineal gland activation in youtube and you will find videos that give off a sound tone of 936Hz, some with binaural beats. some are long and some short. if you listen to that with ear phones on low/medium volume while in bed then it might help put you to sleep. don't get taken away by some of the video images, think its just to make it look better but all you're interested in is the sound tone not the images so pick one that you like listening to.

    Once your sleep improves then we can help you improve on others aspects of what you're struggling with.

    hope it helps.

  • Hi

    I want to avoid sleeping pills if I can. I hate taking the medication I am on without taking more.

    I will try the home remedies you have suggest and may nip to a herbal store and see what they suggest.

    Thanks for the suggestions off to the shops I pop tomorrow


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