Abuse and intimacy

[TheVoid]

A little background info to start. I was sexually abused when I was around 7 and later in my teens. In the past 6 months I have spoken out and done counselling and been feeling like I'm slowly coping with anxiety's and stress.

My husband new from early on I was "broken" and he has always supported me.

My problem now is that were not as intimate as what we were 6 months ago. Talking about it has set me back in that way and my husband is getting frustrated and o feel like it's all my fault he says things along the lines of me being a cock tease or not putting out. I know he's not intentionally hurting me and means it jokey but it's cutting me deep and setting me further away and I just don't know what to do. I have spoke to him and he just said he won't mention it again but if I now know that's how he feels and I feel so guilty

[Satsuma]

It is very brave of you to speak out about the abuse ...I'm pleased to hear you have spoken to a counsellor .. Speaking about it can set us back somewhat .. I speak from experience .. We need to process it all ourselves and can find it most distressing .. Your husband cannot comprehend this as it has not happened to him plus at the same time men have very strong sexual needs and if they don't get them met they can become frustrated as you have found out and shout at us and can become very abusive and exert pressure on us to perform .. You have no reason to feel guilty whatsoever .. Their behaviour can push us away and sometimes we are unable to have them touch us .. We can lose the spark too we once felt for them .. I cannot tell you what to do ...I just want you to know I hear you and have lived this experience .. I now live the single life which for me is so much less stressful .. I wish you luck on your journey through this

[TheVoid in reply to Satsuma]

Thank you satsuma, sometimes I feel lost, its comforting (difficult to find a suitable word) to know that I'm not alone in my thoughts.

I have since wrote everything down to my husband to try and make things clearer to him and he's become more sensitive at the minute and we're trying to g to strip it back to the beginning so to speak.

We're starting again after 7 years, but it's something that were both willing to try.

I'm open to give all I can to him I just hope he can give the same back to me and be patient. X

[Satsuma in reply to TheVoid]

I understand about you feeling lost .. I hope you can both work through this