*Trigger Warning* Is this considered ... - Mental Health Sup...

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*Trigger Warning* Is this considered as abuse?

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My mother quite often(almost daily) threatens to hit/slap me if I make a mistake or forget to do something even if it is very minor. She doesn't always follow through with the threats but sometimes she does but it never leaves a mark so I never have any proof to show anyone. I've tried to chat with a school councillor but they said that everyone needs discipline and my mother is just trying to show me she loves me but not in the best way.

She also has called me many degrading names and yelled at me many times.

I'm not sure if these things are considered as abuse, can someone let me know?

6 Replies

My personal opinion is that your Mother is emotionally abusing you. Threatening to hit you and calling you names isn't my idea of discipline or love. You can effectively discipline a child without hurting them physically or emotionally. You can take some responsibility here by doing what your Mother asks you to do and following her rules. While you are living in her home you need to show respect to her . If you change your behavior she may change hers. It is unfortunate, but perfectly legal to raise your child this way. May be you can find another adult to talk to.. You are always welcome here. Pam

I do follow all of my mothers rules and completely respect her but it will be something as small as accidentally bumping into her and according to her "not smiling enough/properly"that sets her off. I try to make sure I don't do these thing but I never know what small detail may set her off. Thank you for your help though Pam.


Do you know if your Mother is in anyway stressed or has any Mental Health Problems ?

Is she leaving any marks when She strikes ?

You also mention verbal abuse ?

How old are you ?.

It is difficult to put this down to abuse however if you are suffering verbal abuse, and if the attacks are becoming problematic. and you quite right want this to stop and your MAM continues, that can be abuse.

You need to consider how old you are ?. The reasons for the attacks upon you ?

You have discussed this problem at school, and the problem gets worse you can call the

NSPCC for advice, you will find the local number in a telephone book or the school will have the telephone number. If you are over sixteen make an appointment to see your GP and explain your concerns


From what I know my mother doesn't have any mental issues, but she may be stressed due to work. And no, she doesn't leave any marks.

I am under the age of 18 and as I said before it will be small things such as me accidentally bumping into her and according to her "not smiling enough/properly" that sets her off. I try to make sure I don't do these thing but I never know what small detail may set her off.

Thank you for your help.


I came from quite a mixed up family and I put up with verbal abuse quite frequently.

In my early years, up to about thirteen there was violence on occasions. In those days 1950s-60s slapping and hitting was quite common until around the mid sixties. In my case my Parents were not functioning well, so I lived with verbal abuse for many years.

The problem I had verbal abuse when discussing someone else to a teen/ young adult causes resentment by one and lack of respect by the other. Generally this can not only e

affect the child, it can broadcast outwards when the child is an adult and getting married. It can effect the next generation relationship. In my case I was pushed to address my attitude and move on to a more understanding marriage with my now partner

You need this sorted, whatever needs to be done, it does need to be addressed. Again I do not know your age, below eighteen I gather, sixteen is the age you can attend your GP Surgery in the UK. If this is possible talk to your GP regard the antics of your Mother.

You could try and discuss this problem with Her or as Pam has suggested talk to a close relative about this problem.

If your Mother has problems that does not mean She can take it out on you for small problems, that a sorry should be sufficient. You need to be shown respect and your Mother is fast approaching a place were respect between you could be lost. No-one who has mental health problems or anyone else can expect respect for this sort of problem.

We only know one side of this problem, take medical advice as explained above, you need a friend who understands the dynamics of your family


If you can, record what your mother says to you. Calling you degrading names is emotional abuse, and has long lasting effects. It is also illegal. Emotional abuse is harder to prove, but can be done. Has anyone seen/heard your mother abuse you? To recover, it will be important for you to seek counseling.

What do you hope to gain by exposing the abuse? Getting Social Services involved will force your mother into counseling. She was probably treated the same, when growing up, and doesn't know another way. Do you want to live with a relative with whom you are close? Seeking outside help may result in you being removed from the home. These are things you need to consider.

Best Wishes, dear. It's a hard choice to make.

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