*Trigger Warning* When will my life get better, i’m so tired of bad things happening to me!! How much can one person take!!

[Cat_cat44]

I lost my car this week! I lost money that my ex won’t give back so I said keep it! And he’s been calling and throwing it in my face since saturday! Of course I never answer. He even calls me from the girlfriend he cheated on me with (not sure if we were broken up but he still was seein us both at the same times)! And she scratched up my windows on that car! I don’t have a job, I can drive my ex hubby car to do uber but I barely have enough esteem to get my daughter to school! After all of this im suppose to just be fine and get a job. This has tramatized me, lowered my self esteem, I want to end it all I’m barely here, I don’t know what happiness is! Im sure I have ptsd and bpd and I make terrible decisions! I have appointment with therapist monday! But I haven’t been there in weeks and all of this will surely set me back in my healing! How much can one person take!!

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Where_is_normal. so sorry to hear that you continue to struggle but good that you have an appointment with your therapist on Monday. I know it is difficult but try and do something nice for yourself however small. Watch a funny movie. Listen to some music. Just a small distraction from whats going on.

The community here will share their own experiences with you. We are concerned for you and take everything you say very seriously. It looks like you are in the USA so if you feel you need more immediate help please follow the link below where you will find various support line numbers.

shawmindfoundation.org/supp...

Take care and please keep in touch.

[Cat_cat44 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you MAS_Nurse for your kind words. I did take your advice and watched a funny sitcom last night on you tube which always makes me laugh lol. But of course after it was over it was back to reality. Yes I’m in the USA. I don’t want to nor can I harm myself, it’s just so bad right now I’m sure anyone in my shoes would definitely feel the same way. I do look forward to therapy on monday where I can have a safe space to talk and to get my life back on track. One thing I must say I am truly grateful for this site where I’m not judged!! Thank you

[6ixtyon1]

Knowing that you know what is upsetting you and why is a good start...now, people need to start respecting your boundaries. I'm pretty sure that your therapist will want to discuss something like this with you.

In the meantime, know that your daughter and yourself deserve peace and contentment, in order to heal and move ahead. Your ex doesn't sound interested in "helping" with this...however, be warned: don't be surprised if his situation blows up in his face (or, slowly fades) with time, and he wants "to talk" or "needs help"...no, it doesn't always happen, but I've seen it happen, more often than not. All that glitters isn't gold, after all...seems the immature gloaters are usually the last to learn this lesson.

I have a best friend who has been going through something similar...I have to say that I have learned a lot from her. Find a way to change your phone number, unless there are legal/financial reasons that you cannot do this, at this time; you deserve peace...your daughter deserves peace. Once that 'hot air' gets cut off, you will start to feel a little calm..., then a little more calm. Starting to heal and focus on healing is everything, at this point.

Secondly--even more importantly--remember this: you are a survivor, and you care enough to know that this isn't right! Sounds obvious, because it is...what you need to know is how valuable your strength is, right now. I keep telling my friend this, when she gets down, because it's the truth...don't ever forget it, because it's as good as gold...

Finally, outline the current points of the most unease in your life. If it's the bills, that's number one...if it's your ex's behavior, number two, or whatever. By the time you get in to see your therapist, you will know exactly where to start and why--and, don't be afraid to be blunt! Your therapist needs to know the extent of how you are feeling and why. This way, you can both work together on a new direction. That is their profession, and you will be helping them to help you... If you aren't satisfied with the results, is it possible to find a support group/2nd opinion?

You are doing the very best that you can to support your family, as well as yourself--in return, you deserve to be recognized and applauded for that. I take my hat off to you...blessings for the future, always! Let us know what happens, if you need help/research. :>)

[Cat_cat44 in reply to 6ixtyon1]

Thank you 6ixtyon1 for first not judging me at all!! Everything you said was spot on! I like the process of eliminating advice. I can’t change my number because I foolishly did that a few months back and gave the fool the new number, plus my daughter is having a hard time memorizing this one and she don’t want me to. I can get an order of protection against abuse but I was gonna give it some time before I take that step because its only calls im receiving. I will continue to do at least one thing a day during this depressing and traumatic time. One day hopefully this bad cloud will burst and sunshine will come again.☁️🌥⛅️🌤☀️

[6ixtyon1 in reply to Cat_cat44]

My late grandmother used to say that nothing--good, or bad--lasts forever...it's just the way of the universe. However, boundaries of all kinds do exist for a reason: to warn others that it's not their right to cross over that line, one too many times, and make someone else's existence harder than it needs to be.

Sorry about the phone number, but you tried to be magnanimous, and it was turned into a poor joke...but, you got the measure of the reaction; you now "know"...just sorry you had to endure the lesson.

When my mom got pinned down in life, she would take me and just go to a park, someplace, or just out junk shopping, so she could put aside things and just "be," for a while...if your daughter is ok with this, maybe doing this once a week, or every 2 weeks would be a good thing, for you, both...if you want to, you can try and talk things out...or, not. Just see how both of you feel, when you get there...

See what your therapist says, too...if they are worth their salt, they will know how best to keep you and your daughter protected, in every way possible...blessings and light. Hoping that good peace is within your reach!