Im looking for tough love!


Look I know this isn't what Im supposed to post, but it's related to my depression.

I don't want any platitudes just plain out of the box thinking please.

QUESTION : How do I get a job?

Seriously, my attitude stinks, I need the RIGHT environ to work in. I cant bare the thought of some stuffy office, with office politics!!!

I've lost some faith in my abilities and then ask me 10 minutes later and I think I should be running the bloody country!


a) I don't feeeel I can get a job because no one will give me a blessed interview, if I could get the interview, I might get the job!

b) I neeed the right environ, space, light, the ability to have a laugh at work sometime and I need quite a bit of autonomy, I do have a brain in my head after all.

c) I want to feel fulfilled

d) Im creative

e) Im dyslexic (mildly in all fairness to those who really suffer) but that comes with its own issues.

So my main issue is having had more knock backs than Nixson, I've lost confidence.

Now I know life isnt ALL about me.... (it isnt?)

So Im open to this being about you and your struggles.

But share with me Gawd dammit! Tell me.....

a) HOW did you get your job!

b) How, if like me do you think getting a job is a form of ALCHEMY! ...grrr. We should get a job.

If I don't get a job soon I think my BF might explode...ha ha.

Right I have to go out now, sorry in my search for the answer, I'll be back later, any help would be most appreciated.

May I just add this isn't supposed to make you feel more depressed if you can't get a job, its just a chance for a little BRAINSTORMING.

UP THE REVOLUTION...Brothers and Sisters. Im off for a cuppa and shower, no not together :-)

Thank you XXX

P.s. can I have my tough love with cushions please

.....Im such a whimp!

13 Replies

  • Hiya,

    I got my current job through temping. I'd finished a contract and had a few months off. I was being nagged by my bf to get another job so went into a few agencies and got an interview with an American company a day or so later. It wasn't an ideal job or one I'd dreamt about ( I was 35/36 then) - within a week the man who had interviewed me had left and I ended up with a lot more responsibility and autonomy. I was offered a permanent job within 6 months and then started a MSc etc. I've been there 7 years now. Do i feel fulfilled or that the company shares my values? No that's why I will be looking for something else when I feel better - I'm 43 now.

    To be honest I faked enthusiasm with the agencies and at the interview etc. I think temping is a good way to see a company, display your talents and see if you fit etc. it doesn't have to be the dream role but you might like the company and vica versa.

    it also removes some of the pressure of a permanent role. As in I must get this job, I must like it, I must fit in etc.

    I would also look at your requirements in detail. We don't feel fulfilled every day nor can we always be creative etc. if you were fulfilled would if matter if you worked in a basement?

    Just thinking out loud.

    Good luck,

    Sarah xx

  • Hello

    Living off savings at the moment :-)

    I must sound like a right prima donna. I have temped 2000 years ago and when I was younger it wasnt a problem, now in my late 40's they dont seem to want me. Also Im not qualified for much in the corporate line, im a hopeless receptonist hate it, because numbers more than words are my stumbling block im no good at excel. Im a great team leader but since Ive been alone and freelance for some years, no ones going to give me a team to head up.

    I will try the temp agents when im well again I havent crossed it off.

    Thank you so much for your great advice.


  • It depends whether you need the money I suppose. If there's no reason why you can't work, and you're choosing to take from the state rather than work in a less than ideal environment, then you won't get much sympathy for it.

    However if this situation is physically stopping you getting a job, then you need to address a few things.

    Why don't you go for a part time job, so at least if it's awful, you won't have to do it all day? Might be a way to ease yourself back in gently?

  • Sorry I think I wrote your reply to 21esme ....x

  • Hi

    Thats what Im trying to get a part time job! I live off savings and theyd good allllot further if I had a job :-) However trying to get a PT job is no easier than getting a full time job.

    Thank you for your advice though X

  • Hi Caroline

    Wish I had an answer as to how to get a job. I (naively) thought I'd at least get a temporary job within a month but it's take 2 months & I've finally got a (incredibly boring) temp job for the next 4-10 weeks. It is soooo mind numbingly repetitive & boring but it's something. I would encourage you to join a few agencies but you will need to keep on top of them & phone once or twice a week. I did that with a couple & each of them said that they felt good about getting me a job but I've not heard back from either of them. I joined Office Angels today (I actually only thought they took on women but apparently not lol) and told them about the other two & they insisted that they will keep in touch with me even if it's to give me bad news. The downside of an agency is that they don't know the job & can only go by what is in print in front of them so if key words don't match from your cv/application you may not be considered for jobs. Whereas if it's the company/person who is doing the hiring themselves is dealing with an application then they'll have more of an idea. Though having said that it is my understanding that's fairly rare nowadays because even when a company is dealing with the vacancy it'll be the HR department who will just do the same as the agencies & look out for certain words/experiences.

    Here's my outside-the-box suggestion:

    If you cannot find something you want to do, would you be able to work for a charity one or two days a week? I've not tried this myself, but my thought is that if someone is offering free labour would they turn it down? Perhaps then you could get experience in doing something that you would like to do as a job...

    As I say I have nooooo idea if that'll work but it kinda makes sense in my head :)

    Good luck x


  • I think your advice was really sensible x

  • Can i reply Monday Im wiped and not making any sense but wanted to thank you Jamesy that was super kind of you x

  • Great top tip about the search words, thank you very much and for sharing your experience it really helps.

    Voluntary work, well Im considering it, but I have done more than my fair share of free work in the hope of gaining work :-) which lead nowhere.

    My problem is this do I spend even more time teaching myself Microsoft Office and try the temps again or so I spend my time persuing my art which I want to do for the rest of my life and like most Dyslexics my mind is awash with ideas. Todays passion is tomorrow disinterest as I find a new

    I have told the BF I will attempt to knuckle down and do the office stuff, he is not interested hes just interested in results! I dont think hed care if I got a job as a cleaner (not denigrating cleaners) so long as I had a job! ...grrrr

    Now JimDon you forgot to tell me where the revolution is starting and what the manifesto is...there is a revolution isnt there? Please say YES!

  • Hi Caroline, you do make me laugh (in a really good way! :) ) Have you thought about becoming a stand up comedienne? Yes I'm being serious; have you thought about going to comedy school as they do run courses like that and I could imagine you on the alternative circuit just being you and expressing yourself the way you do and making people feel happy because you have such a naturally and open and upliftingly amusing approach to yourself and to life. They do say many comedians are depressives at heart ; Jack Dee makes a living out of being depressive doesn't he? !

    Apart from that having briefly scanned the replies temping sounds like a good idea. Also I'm wondering it you aim too low? Do you have low self esteem and not want to fail so put yourself in situations where you won't fail but doing things and with people who you find boring?

    I'm still jumping out of the box in my thinking so hope this helps?

    Self employment would seem to suit you from many of the things I've noticed about you. You are individualistic, creative ; the only thing is with self employment you do need a very disciplined side as well. Not saying you don't have that as you may do but you would need to be sure that you did.

    I haven't met you but I could imagine you being a tour guide in a historical building and dressing up in the costumes and telling people all about times gone by. I could imagine you in a University type of environment where people are close nit and all of intellectual leanings. Why don't you write a list of all the things you could possibly do including a few unusual things ( ever thought about being a lap dancer? Ok I'm being silly now but just thought I'd give you a laugh!!!) Obviously I've been watching too much of Big Brother and think that sort of job is the norm? Or as Danielle, one of the girls on there is doing, apparently she never takes her clothes off but walks around in riding gear and men pay just to have a normal conversation with her on her webcam ! Yes really ! There are others who will pay you to put your foot on a tiny car and crush it (you need to have seen the programme!) Sorry guys if this is too flippant but you've got to have a laugh sometimes. :)

    Another suggestion is to start volunteering somewhere and that way you will get an idea of whether you like it there and many people get jobs having volunteered somewhere (I've seen it happen where I volunteer on a few occasions as you then have the experience you need to apply for the job)

    Hope there are a few ideas there for you. Please keep posting Caroline. I love your posts. I'm a fan already!

    Gemmalouise Xx

  • Gemma so sorry want to reply properly but Im wiped out. The comedy thing has been said all my life, so maybe I should put up or shut up! :-) Will reply monday thank you soo much xx

  • Sorry all want to reply properly but more important want to say THANK YOU so much for being so kind. Well come back properly on Monday XX

  • So my update, I may have to attempt the likes of Microsoft Office to get a temp job. Though I can teach myself I think Im going to need some form of certificates so Im looking for cheap short courses.

    My over all feeling is one of huge gratitude for you all replying and may I say despite that I would like to ....Run away! :-)


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